#4 | What It Means to Be Born | What I Didn't Know Until She Became a Mother
Episode 1 | Episode 4: "Even So, I Am Becoming a Father."
I thought that once a child was born, I would naturally become a father.
But the reality was not that simple.
From that day when I couldn't do anything, I still, little by little, became a father.
I made all the preparations I could to welcome my child.
I thought I would do what I could, from feeding to putting the baby to sleep.
But in reality, things didn't go as planned.
The baby wouldn't drink the milk.
No matter how many times I tried, it didn't work.
I, who thought that "drinking from a bottle is normal," learned for the first time that "sometimes it's not normal."
Putting the baby to sleep was the same.
I had prepared a bouncer and an electric cradle. But in the end, I would hold the baby for three hours before they finally fell asleep.
And then, they would wake up the moment I put them down on the futon.
—The "back switch."
Every day of parenting was a process of trial and error.
Every time I hit a wall, I would look things up and gain knowledge, but I never knew if it would work for my child. No matter how much I prepared, things never went as I expected.
No matter what I did, it didn't go well.
That was how every day went.
Even so, time kept moving forward.
Three years after my child was born, I developed a retinal detachment.
Eight surgeries over the course of several years.
I lost the sight in my right eye.
I could no longer go surfing, which was my hobby.
Honestly, I was quite depressed.
But I have a child.
I also have a wife who supports me.
Having someone to protect helped me look forward.
The birth where I couldn't do anything back then,
the parenting that didn't go well,
and the fact that I was able to move forward from despair,
were all experiences this child gave me.
Becoming a father,
I thought, might be something like this.
If there is anyone who is about to become a father, I want to tell you this.
I really want you to be present at the birth.
Because the experience of witnessing the birth of a life
becomes an event that reminds you of gratitude for living together right now.
To borrow the words from my favorite show, 'Kounodori' (The Stork),
'Childbirth is a miracle.'
I still think so today.
Until she became a mother,
what did I not know?
Childbirth didn't go as planned.
A father wasn't someone who could do much of anything.
Even so,
there was meaning in being there.
I was able to learn that.
—— Episode 4 End
Next is a father's story that started with an 'unexpected' turn of events.
We will bring you Mr. Y's story. | Scheduled for release on 4/14
▶ The words of the midwife who read this story arehere
▶ Episode 1 "That Day, Everything Became Unplanned" is here
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