"I'm self-conscious" | There are different types of people's eyes

I often hear people say "I'm self-conscious," but
I feel like this "people's eyes" can be divided into two types.

Being self-conscious about people's gaze, and being self-conscious about people's
judgment.

I'm the type who worries about both, but
this time I noticed something regarding being self-conscious about people's gaze , so I decided to write an article about it.

Maybe I was feeling a bit of pressure from their gaze...

I have always struggled with
looking people straight in the eye when talking.

The reason for that,
I thought was simply because I was shy, but
that reason never really felt quite right.

Actually, even now, I haven't found a
clear reason that makes me think, "This is it!"

I didn't like the feeling of being seen through.
It was scary.
This is the closest I've come so far.

I am very bad at standing in front of people and talking or
being the center of attention, and I think
I feel the other person's gaze as pressure.

How easy it was to talk depended entirely on how the other person listened.

I noticed something recently.

When I was asking for advice about a problem,
the other person didn't stare directly at my eyes, but
shifted their gaze slightly downward while listening to me.

The other person wasn't doing anything else.
They were listening to me properly.
It's just that their gaze wasn't piercing straight at me.

Even though that was all it was, it was incredibly easy to talk to them.

I want people to listen to me properly, but I get nervous when they look at me intensely.
I thought this feeling was actually quite interesting, even for me. Haha.

The more serious the person is,
and the closer the relationship,
the more they look at me to try and listen properly.

Even though that is nothing but kindness,
there is a part of me that gets nervous... haha.

It's not that I'm bad with being looked at in general.
I think I have my own internal balance
regarding the intensity of a gaze or the closeness of the distance.
(I think that balance is quite difficult, even for me. Haha.)

I discovered a side of myself I didn't know

What I realized this time is that
I wasn't just nervous about being evaluated, but also about the pressure of the gaze itself,
and that depending on how the other person listens, I can feel this much at ease while talking.

Summing this up as
“I’m afraid of people’s eyes” feels a bit off,
and I also feel that dismissing it as “being too self-conscious” isn't quite right either.

Noticing these kinds of “little habitual reactions” of my own,
it felt like I was getting to know a side of myself I hadn't known before,
and for some reason, I was very happy about it.

If you have some time, please take a look at these as well📖

👇🏻When you are concerned about your behavior or how you came across after speaking

👇🏻When you cannot find the right words

👇🏻When you stumble a little while trying to put your true feelings into words

👇🏻For those reading this for the first time