Zure-Ike #02 "Living Today with the Spec of Hyperacusis"

I sometimes say, "I'm not good with loud noises."
But in reality, it's not just a matter of being "not good" with them.

For me, "sound" is an external stimulus that concerns life or death.

Take fireworks, for example.
The moment they go 'boom,' my heart tightens and the blood drains from my face.
That sound, which shakes even my internal organs, doesn't feel "beautiful" to me—it only feels like a "bombardment."

Deep, thumping bass hits my body before I even hear it with my ears.
It causes my brain to shut down instantly.
I can see, but I stop being able to process what I see, and I lose track of where I am.
Before I know it, I'm thinking,
"Wait, how did I get home?"

I've tried various earplugs.
Transparent ones, silicone ones, even expensive ones.
But the bass is too powerful; it cuts right through.
It lets everything in.
Still, I carry earplugs.
Even if they don't block everything, the feeling of "trying to protect myself" gives me a sense of security, like a charm.

I used to live in a noisy place, but I finally moved.
You could say I ran away, but for me,

**"surviving"** feels closer to the truth.
Now, in a quiet place, I can finally breathe properly.

But actually, "sounds inside the house" are quite formidable too.
The hum of the refrigerator, the sound of steam from the rice cooker—they all sound like some kind of melody to me, and they start looping in my head on their own.
It's like having background music playing constantly in a room that should be silent.

Music starts playing inside me from sounds no one else notices, and it won't stop.
Silence isn't just a matter of volume.
"Being free from the domination of sound."
For me, that is the condition for finally being able to relax.

In the midst of this, I received a notification from a manufacturer of soundproof earmuffs.
It seems there was a reaction to an "article about hyperacusis."
I saw a glimmer of hope and immediately opened the link.

But all that was lined up were products for kids.
They were cute and felt safe, but there were zero options for adults.

That's not it.
It's not just children who need silence.
There are adults, too, who suffer because of sound.

So, I left a comment.
"I would really love for you to make products for adults as well."

Then, a few days later, the reply I got wasn't just a standard "we will consider it."

"We will consider developing products for adults in the future.
Our current products are also used by adults.
We aim to create something that those who need it can use with peace of mind."

...That message truly had a **"human voice"** in it.
It didn't feel like a template; I felt that someone had really thought about it and replied.

Our voices sometimes drift into the void, but sometimes they do reach someone.
This time, I think it was one of those moments where it "reached."

Even while being battered by sound, I am living today.
I am surviving, just as I am, out of sync.

By the way, in a few days, I'm going to a parent mentor training session.
The way home... is perfectly timed with the explosive sound of a fireworks festival.
Well... I'll do my best to secure silence and a route home.

🌟 Currently, with the motto "Go on, even if you're out of sync," I am quietly observing and plotting a path toward coexistence.
Alien Mishima.

※ Related article: "About Hyperacusis" if you'd like... ↓