The 'Way of Watching Over' That 90% of Moms Get Wrong

Your 'intention to watch over' might be
keeping your child's independence at bay.

'It's faster if I just do it for them,'
'I don't want them to struggle'...
Are you thinking things like that and ending up stepping in?

But that 'kindness' can sometimes
rob children of their ability to think for themselves.

That said, it's unsettling to do nothing at all...
It's hard to know how much to help and where to start just watching.

In this article, I will provide
tips you can practice right away
on finding the 'perfect distance'that makes children feel
'I want to try doing it myself.'

This should surely reach moms who feel
'Watching over is so difficult...'

🧸 From the everyday parenting scene

When your child was still small,
holding them or holding their hand,
doing everything for them was the norm, wasn't it?

Being by their side and
helping them felt natural.

But,
even as your child grows up a little,
if you keep that same distance
and keep stepping in...

the child might think,
'Mom will do it for me, so it's fine,'
and rely on you before they even try to think
or attempt to do it themselves.

🔍 When you notice something

'I want to make sure they don't struggle,'
'I don't want them to fail.'

You often end up getting ahead of them
and preparing everything for them, don't you?

But what if that
is reducing the chances for them to feel
'I want to try' or to experience things
for themselves...?

I realized at one point that
the 'perfect distance' from Mom
is very important
for a child to grow.

💭 My story of when things didn't go well

With my first child, it was my first time parenting,
so every day was trial and error.

I was worried about so many things,
so I would step in or get ahead of them
and offer unsolicited advice.

Perhaps because of that,
my first child might have been a little clumsy with their hands.

But my younger daughter was a bit different.
She saw her older brother as a rival,
and she had a strong feeling of
'If my brother can do it, I can too!'

So, even without me saying anything,
she would try to do things on her own,
and before I knew it, she was
very good at tying her shoelaces too.

🌈 The important thing I saw from that

What I felt through raising these two children was
the importance of watching over themfrom a little bit of a distance.

Children actually
have the ability to think and try things for themselves.

So, even if you don't lend a hand right away,
they can surprisingly overcome things just fine.

“Does my child really need my help right now?”
“Or is it better to just watch over them?”

Just by asking yourself questions like that,
I feel like the way you engage with your child will gradually change.

♡ Something I want to share right now

Children are growing a little bit every day.
So, the way you interact with them
doesn't always have to be the same.

“Watching over” doesn't mean
just leaving them alone,
but rather watching them gently
while letting them know, “I’m watching you.”

Sometimes,
you might feel impatient.

But that perfect sense of distance is what
nurtures your child's
desire to “try it” and their sense of “I did it!”

Today's realization

• For children to grow on their own, a “perfect distance” from mom is important

• If you intervene too much, you might accidentally take away your child's chance to try things for themselves

• As they grow, let's gradually adjust “how much to watch and where to let them take charge”

• The sense of security that comes from knowing “Mom is watching” fosters a child's desire to “give it a try!”

💌 In closing

Trusting your child and watching over them
actually takes a lot of courage for a mom.

But just by you gently supporting them from behind,
saying “I’m watching, you’re okay,”
your child can take that step forward on their own.

Starting today, let's find that
“perfect distance” together, little by little 😊

– * – * – * –
Decide what you want to do next at your own pace...
📖 Related Articles
▶︎ Watching over doesn't mean doing nothing
▶︎ Raising a child who finds what they want to do! 3 ways parents can engage

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