Multilingual Observation | Are You Part of “US”?

[Words of Relationship 1]

While thinking about “healing” and “compassion,” the question of “with whom?” suddenly came to mind. After gazing at the stillness within myself, my gaze seemed to naturally turn outward. “Us” between “me” and “you.” Who exactly is in this word?

“Us” that includes you, and “us” that does not

When learning various languages, I notice that the scope of this “us” is surprisingly different.
For example, in Indonesian, there is a clear distinction between “kita” (including you) and “kami” (excluding you).

When I first learned this, I was honestly bewildered, thinking, “Wait, you distinguish that strictly? Are there really that many scenes in daily life where you need to make that distinction?” It was a way of thinking I couldn't easily swallow.
But since learning this, it has become very clear to me who I recognize myself to be with.

The way Japanese wraps things in “ambiguity”

The Japanese word for “us” (watashitachi) is convenient. Whether it includes or excludes is somehow understood through context.
But this ambiguity might be an expression of the kindness of a culture that avoids conflict by intentionally blurring relationships.

In English and French, there is basically only an inclusive “we.”
Therefore, conversations like “This ‘us’ includes you” almost never happen. Even if they do, it’s only for emphasis.

However, in Japanese, there is an air-like inclusion. By not stating it clearly, harmony is maintained. Whether or not to include “you” is determined by the relationship outside the sentence.

The rhythm of distance within words

When using the word “us,” “boundaries” and “warmth” coexist within it.
Closing brings peace, opening brings connection—this fluctuation might reflect the worldview of each language.

So, today, a question for you.
Whose face came to mind when you said “us” today?

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