"A pure heart"—perhaps that was just weakness.

In this city, everyone lives by telling a few small lies.

It is not a sin. Rather, it is a technique for survival.

Water is rationed, and so is food. People cannot live alone. Yet, no one fully trusts anyone else. In a world where you die if you don't help each other, helping is not an act of "goodwill" but a "transaction".

—I was the only one who couldn't maintain that balance.

"You're losing out again, you know."

That was said by the friend I once trusted above all others.

He was smiling. Without a hint of remorse, he drank the water I had offered and gave the empty container a light shake.

"You're too honest. In a place like this, that just makes you prey."

Prey.

The word felt strangely fitting.

I think I have always been the kind of person who gets devoured by others.

I cannot refuse. I cannot doubt. Even when betrayed, I find myself thinking, "Maybe there was a reason for it."

I used to believe that was a "pure heart."

But perhaps it was just weakness.

In this world, those who can lie are the ones who survive.

Reading people's expressions, playing along with whatever is said, and betraying others without a second thought when necessary. Those are the people who successfully obtain food, water, and even human connections.

So, is there any meaning in being honest?

I have thought about it many times.

And I have been betrayed many times.

　Even so—.

　Even so, I could not become a complete liar.

　Because I am clumsy.

　Because I am just a little more out of sync with the world than others.

　Things that everyone else can do as a matter of course, I cannot.

　That is why I was lonely.

　Even when I was in the crowd, I was alone.

　But, one day.

　"...Isn't that fine, though?"

　A person who said that appeared for the first time.

　Just like me, she was sharing her water.

　Without asking for anything in return.

　"Do you think you're losing out?"

　She smiled quietly.

　That way of smiling was so out of place in this world, and that is precisely why it looked, just a little, like salvation.

　"You see, I want to believe. Not in whether I'll be betrayed, but in how I want to be."

　When I heard those words, for the first time, I thought:

　—Perhaps there are things in this world, too, that one can "choose."

　Even if you lose out, even if you are betrayed.

　The choice to still not stop believing, even then.

Is that foolishness?

Or is it strength?

I still did not know.

I am LaLaLa, currently in the midst of trial and error.
This story was inspired by an idea I had while reading an article by my fellow collaborative magazine member, M-Zero.
I hope you all will read it as well. (*Contains spoilers)

Try doing this as a tip!🤗