[Sleepovers and Child Development Part 2] What sleepover issues revealed about global parenting and our own family style.

I was agonizing alone over my daughter's request for a sleepover 🤔. I suddenly wondered, 'How is it in other countries?' and decided to look it up. When I did, I was so surprised by the differences that I actually gasped, 'What!?'

To my surprise, it seems that it is mainly in Western cultures, such as the United States, where sleepovers are widely accepted as a 'good opportunity to encourage a child's independence ✨.' In these countries, the habit of sleeping alone is ingrained from infancy, and there is a culture that places great importance on 'independence.' I see; if you think of sleepovers as an extension of that, it might be a natural thing.

On the other hand, in Asian countries including Japan, as well as in Latin American cultures, the trend is completely the opposite. Because they value 'interdependence' and 'bonds' within the family, the custom of sleepovers doesn't really exist in the first place. In Japan, 'co-sleeping,' where parents and children sleep together, has been the norm for a long time, hasn't it? One survey even shows data that about 70% of Japanese babies sleep with their mothers. In our home, both my 8-year-old eldest daughter and my 2-year-old youngest still sleep in a row with us.

'I have to make them independent quickly.'
'Parenting abroad is more advanced.'

Perhaps I had that kind of impatience somewhere in my heart. But in Japanese culture, there are things that are naturally nurtured while growing up close to one another. I realized that I don't have to force myself to match Western styles; I can just watch over my child's growth in the way our family wants to cherish. That's what I thought.

Of course, it's not that Western thinking is bad, nor is Japanese thinking absolute. It's just that there are various family styles and values in the world. Just knowing that has broadened my perspective significantly. Whether I allow a sleepover or not, it is a choice based on our family's values. There was no need to compare it with anyone else's.

Just as I was surprised and went 'What!?' when I did my research, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could discover with your child that 'there are many different ways of living in the world'? If you open the picture book below, your daughter can see and feel for herself that there are wonderful family forms in countries that have sleepovers and in those that don't. 'Others are others, we are us.' It is the best textbook for parents and children to grow together in a spirit that values their own culture and family form rather than comparing themselves to others 👇

'Let's think about it in our own way.' Talking to my husband like that made me feel a little more positive. First, I think I will start by facing myself and figuring out 'what' exactly about sleepovers makes me so anxious.

I feel like what should have been my daughter's issue has given me an opportunity to re-examine my own values 😌