A 3-hour drive each way on local roads, avoiding the highway. The day I took my daughter to Adventure World, where there are no pandas 🐬
Since I started writing on note, I have hardly gone on any long trips.
Every day, I write articles and reply to comments. Even on my days off, I find myself facing the screen.
That was me, until I finally went on a long trip for the first time in a while.
The destination was Adventure World.
It was because my daughter said she wanted to see the dolphins.
I am in my 16th year as an occupational therapist,
working as a functional training instructor at a special nursing home for the elderly.
I am an HSP and ISFJ, and a father to a 7-year-old daughter.
I have been practicing Adlerian psychology for 13 years,
and I have been present at the end-of-life of nearly 100 people.
Usually, I write about end-of-life care, working as an HSP, and Adlerian psychology.
But today, I want to change things up a bit and
write about a certain day off.
I didn't use the highway, and instead intentionally took local roads,
taking nearly 3 hours each way.
This is a story about our family's slightly unusual way of "spending money" that lies behind that choice.
🐼 The pandas are no longer there
First, there is something I want to write down.
There are no longer any pandas at the current Adventure World.
Two years ago, when we last went,
we were still able to see the pandas.
My daughter was so moved
by the sight of those black and white lumps
munching on bamboo.
On her birthday two years ago, she even had the experience of swimming with dolphins.
My daughter loved both the dolphins and the pandas.
So this time, when I found out there were no pandas, to be honest, I felt a little bit of sadness.
But my daughter's goal was clear.
She wanted to see the dolphins.
That was all it was.
🚗 Why I dared to choose local roads
Now, this is the story I most want to write about today.
I did not use the expressway this time.
It took nearly three hours one way on local roads.
If I had used the expressway, I probably would have arrived in about half the time.
Writing this, most people would probably think the following.
"Why go out of your way?"
"Isn't that a waste of time?"
"Are you perhaps being stingy?"
——Yes.
I think it looks stingy.
In fact, I don't even use convenience stores.
I don't eat meals inside the park either.
Instead, I pack rice balls, bread, and snacks bought at a cheap supermarket into a cooler box and bring them with me.
From the outside looking in, I think it's quite thorough.
But to me, it is not contradictory at all.
Because——
We are going to see the animals, not to Adventure World to eat a meal.
💰 "Not spending money" and "being stingy" are different
I want to clearly distinguish between these two things.
Just because we are going out for fun, it doesn't mean I leave my purse strings
completely loose.
But it's a little different from just being stingy.
Our family's rules are simple.
Spend money where it should be spent. But don't spend it where it's not necessary.
Two years ago, for my daughter's birthday, we swam with dolphins.
We spent money on that, and rightly so.
Because it was an irreplaceable experience that would stay in my daughter's memory.
That was a place where we should spend money.
On the other hand, lunch at the park's restaurant was a place that was 'not necessary' for us.
Whether it's rice balls or bread, my daughter smiles just the same, and
she cheers for the dolphins just the same.
If that's the case, we can cut back there.
This line we draw is the foundation of how our family
deals with money.
And my wife shares this exact same way of thinking.
The fact that we as a couple share this sense is
understated, but it's quite significant.
If one of us wanted to 'spend more',
this kind of trip would
probably be awkward.
🛣️ Arriving quickly was not the goal
The reason we chose local roads is,
actually, an extension of that same way of thinking.
We wanted to save on highway tolls.
That is the biggest reason.
But that's not all.
I want you to think about it carefully.
Our goal was to
go to Adventure World and
see the dolphins.
Arriving early is not the goal.
As long as we make it by opening time, that's fine.
If that's the case, then
we just need to prepare early in the morning.
If you make arriving early your goal,
you create a reason to pay for the expressway.
But if the goal is to "see the animals,"
taking local roads doesn't cause any problems.
This was
a continuation of the Adlerian psychology "teleology" that I have been practicing for 13 years.
People tend to get distracted by the means.
Faster. More efficiently. By the shortest route.
But, stop and think for a momentabout whether those means are trulynecessary for the "goal."
When you do, you'll find there are actually many things you can cut out.
Arriving early. Eating inside the park. Stopping at a convenience store.
None of these were necessary for the true goal of
"seeing the animals and having fun as a family."
🍙 I couldn't buy rice balls the day before
I'll write down one small, one-time incident that happened this time.
Usually, I would buy food at the supermarket the day before.
But this time, my daughter decided to go to a friend's house the day before.
I accompanied her.
Thanks to that, I ran out of time to go shopping.
So this time, we bought food at the supermarket on the morning of the trip before heading out.
It's just a small thing, but I wanted to write it down.
Because, this act of "accompanying my daughter to her friend's house" was also,
time that I did not want to cut back on.
Prioritizing my daughter's "want to go" over the logistics of shopping.
I feel that this, too, properly reflects how our family spends our money and time.
🐬 With the pandas gone, everything else had improved
And now, for the main event: Adventure World.
To sum it up, it turned out to be an incredibly fun day.
There are no pandas.
But because of that, the quality of everything else had clearly gone up.
First, the dolphin show.
The quality of the performance was significantly higher than it was two years ago.
Thirteen dolphins jumped one after another, sending up splashes of water.
My daughter watched, mesmerized, with her mouth wide open and her eyes sparkling.
The Kenya train that runs through the park.
The quality of that announcement was also much better than before.
With the pandas gone, the entire facility is pouring its efforts into other areas.
That was the impression I got.
Instead of counting what has been lost, look at the richness of what is here now.
This is also something I have seen throughout my time working in special nursing homes.
Instead of lamenting what can no longer be done, look at what can still be done.
Just having that perspective makes the same day look completely different.
Adventure World without the pandas was still—no, perhaps precisely because of that—rich.
🌿 Conclusion: The 3 hours on local roads were not a detour
On the way home, we took the local roads again.
While being swayed in the car for nearly 3 hours.
But that time in the car wasn't bad either.
My daughter, in the back seat, excitedly repeats the story of the dolphins she saw today over and over.
My wife and I listen to her.
If we had taken the highway and arrived in a flash, this time would have been cut in half.
If our only goal had been to arrive quickly, this time would probably have been something to be 'cut out'.
But for me, these 3 hours on local roads were not a detour at all.
In fact, they were one of the most memorable parts of the day.
Spend time where it should be spent.
Don't spend it where it isn't needed.
What remained beyond that line was by no means a poor day.
My daughter cheering for the dolphins.
My wife watching her from beside me.
And the trivial conversations we shared in the car on the local roads.
Even without spending money, you can certainly create a rich day.
Our family will probably keep taking local roads from now on.
What do you spend your money on, and what do you cut back on?
And, does that line you draw
connect properly with what you truly want to cherish?
Profile 🙋♂️
16th year as an Occupational Therapist | Working in special nursing homes/unit care | Former Dementia Care Instructor | HSP/ISFJ | Playing tennis since junior high | Father of a 7-year-old daughter | 13 years of practicing Adlerian psychology | Lost weight from 106kg to 77kg | After experiencing depression and social anxiety, I continue to share field-based insights on how I learned to live without medication.
📖 Author of "Working Gently Without Burning Out" 🎧 Radio broadcast now available👇
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