Survival Strategy of a Down-and-Out Salesman Who Couldn't Get a Girlfriend for 10 Years

Hello, I'm Shun.

It has been almost four years since I started on note. I've always thought I needed to update my self-introduction, but I haven't been able to, so I would like to introduce my life again.

■ Life's Weaknesses → Challenges

For 36 years, I have lived as a weak and down-and-out person.
The cause was that I was a person who was too cooperative and always went along with those around me.

Cooperation can be called a strength. In my middle school report card, it was written as a compliment: "A student who values cooperation with his classmates."

I am often told, "You're a good person." As a result of avoiding conflict and always blending into the community from a neutral standpoint, I became a "good person."

Therefore, I do not deny cooperation itself.
I was troubled by the fact that going along with others had become a habit and was too strong.

When cooperation is too strong, you only listen to the opinions of those around you, andI lost sight of my own true feelings.

・I don't know if I should tell the person I like that I like them
・I feel like I have to live a life that makes my parents happy
・If I don't make my friends happy, I have no value in living

My challenge was"not knowing the life I want for myself."

■ Life's Rails

I was born in a rural town in Tohoku where you could see the ocean from the road to school.

Until I became a high school student, I didn't even ride the train alone, and I longed to go to Tokyo someday after seeing the footage in front of Shinjuku Alta that played during the opening of "Waratte Iitomo!" which aired at noon.

"If you go to college, go to a local one; if you want to work, work for a local company,"my parents kept telling me, so I followed their rails, went to a local university, and after graduating, I got a job at a local company.

I had mentioned wanting to go to a university in Tokyo, but seeing my parents' lonely faces, I gave up on moving to Tokyo because I didn't want to make them sad.

The rails were built by my parents' faces.
I think the strength of my cooperation was something I acquired in order not to stray from those rails.

■ Work

I worked as a construction materials salesperson, supplying materials to job sites.
A job transfer marked the beginning of my long-awaited life in Tokyo.

However, the company I joined as a new graduate was a "total sweatshop."

The stress of the job took a toll on my body and mind, but the curse of cooperativeness—the feeling that I "couldn't betray my colleagues"—was wrapped coldly around my ankles.

I lied to my parents and friends, telling them "work is fun."
I just didn't want them to worry about me.

In my fourth year, I decided I couldn't go on living like this and resigned.
That led to a period of about six months where I was a NEET.

I scraped by while working a series of temporary factory jobs. I thought about returning to my hometown, but I started to doubtwhether it could be called a "happy life" if I ended up as this weak version of myselfand, driven by a desire to see the world of major, cutting-edge companies while I was still young, I began job hunting.

I then changed jobs to work as a salesperson at a foreign-owned SaaS company in the IT industry.

I started to face my "true feelings" just a little bit.

Working in an industry with a completely different sense of speed was incredibly stimulating. I worked there for five years, and it felt like being in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber; I gained so much.

Applying those experiences, I returned to the construction industry.

I believe that solving the industry's inherent problem of "labor shortages" lies in the "smartness and sense of speed" that young people feel is lacking.
While utilizing the mindset and systems I learned in foreign IT, I am continuing to use trial and error in the field of salesto create new ways of working and new systems within the construction industry.

■ Life

I got married four years ago, and we live together in a condo in Tokyo.
For me, having spent my 20swithout a girlfriend for 10 years,I have attained my "ideal happiness" and am living a wonderfully ordinary life.

At home, I am generally the one who does the cooking.

Before we got married, my wife told me, "I'm not confident in my cooking. I'm not confident in my ability to do housework either. I might cause you trouble, so if you can't accept these conditions, it's better not to get married," so I have been cooking for the four years since we married.

My wife is very good at putting things into words.
While creating my note, I am always helped by the "perspective" my wife possesses.

The article my wife wrote about "women who cannot get married," which we sold two years ago, continues to sell 5 to 10 copies every month.

Recently, my hobby is recording daily life with a new camera I bought by saving up my note earnings. I have been editing videos for 15 years, and since I like recording itself, I film scenes I encounter while walking or on trips.

■ Reversal Strategy

My note articulates how to turn weaknesses into assets.
I call it a "reversal strategy."

The curse of conformity still continues today.
However, what is different from before is that I acknowledge my weaknesses.

・I have lived by conformity, so I am bad at putting things into words.
・I easily bend my own will.
・Even though I am in sales, I am bad at negotiating.

I am turning weaknesses into strengths.

I continue writing notes because I am bad at putting things into words.
Because I am prone to bending my will, I take an interest in the will of others.
Because I am bad at negotiating, I am thinking of sales methods that do not involve negotiation.

Since entering my 30s, I have defined this reversal strategy as a "cunning way of life."

"A cunning way of life" does not mean giving up on effort.

It is a way of life where you remove biases—such as the idea that you cannot succeed if you hit things head-on in a serious manner, or that you cannot start unless you are in a perfect state—and find value from various perspectives.

The first step is "acknowledging your weaknesses."
What are your weaknesses?

This note might be interesting to those who have the following worries.

• Worried about whether you should stay at your current company

• Wanting to get married but finding it troublesome to take the first step

• Lacking confidence since childhood and feeling anxious about the future

• Troubled by being too obsessed with ideals

Career, marriage, daily life, the future.

Life has various worries, and it is impossible to solve them alone.

If the worries you have held until now are common to yours, perhaps some of your anxiety will be lifted.

"A weak, down-and-out life"

I will talk about the life turnaround from there.

Well then, I'll be waiting for you on note.