[#6 If You Want to Make Them Laugh] On Judgment and Handling Failure: Whether to 'Make It Funny' or 'Support Them'

I have been thinking about "ways of speaking" and "managing the atmosphere."
This time, the topic is quite practical.

In conversation and social interactions,
small failures and troubles happen often.
Dropping something, misspeaking,
stepping on a landmine, or bragging unintentionally.
Those moments happen to everyone.

What matters is
"what you do" at that moment.

Do you turn it into a laugh, or do you support them?
If you can make this judgment,
the sense of security in a conversation changes significantly.

This is the 6th episode of "If You Want to Make Them Laugh."
The first episode is here.
I am the one coming up with the conversation examples, of course,
but I'm worried that my lack of sense is being exposed 😨

You might enjoy this content moreif you read it together with the previous one(#5)!

Being a chatty frog,
I have made many mistakes in conversation.
But I don't intend to stop chatting,
that's just how I am.
Even failure is a success if you turn it into comedy someday!

Judging whether to turn it into "laughter"

Failures can sometimes be turned into laughter.

For example, light mistakes or everyday blunders.
When no one is hurt and the person involved is relaxed,
turning it into "laughter" can soften the atmosphere.

However, there is an important condition for this.

"Whether the person seems okay with it"

This is the most important thing of all!

Even if those around you think it's funny,
if the person involved is troubled,
it becomes a burden rather than laughter.

Laughter only works when there is a sense of security.

◇ Switch to support if the condition disappears

Even if the atmosphere was light enough to laugh at a moment ago,
the situation can change suddenly.

For example, in a situation like this.

When someone spills a drink.
If it's just a little bit on the floor,

"Are you okay?"
"Sorry, I'm fine!"

It can sometimes turn into laughter.

However, the moment it gets on a suit, the situation changes.

At this point, instead of continuing to laugh,
it is important to switch to offering support immediately.

Whether or not you can notice the change in atmosphere.
This judgment call can significantly change the flow.

◇ Conversation Example: Even with the same 'spill', the feelings are different

For example, here is the difference.

'I spilled my drink!'
'Whoa! You're really drunk, aren't you? (laughs)'

In this case, it becomes a laugh.

But,

'It got on my suit...'
'Are you okay? Do you have something to wipe it with?'

Here, it becomes support.

It's not about which one is correct, but
it is important to change your reaction according to the situation.

◇ Forced laughter fixes the failure in place

It's fine to just give a polite laugh, right?
I especially want to tell this to those who say,
'I'm not very good at asserting myself.'

Forced laughter that isn't backed by genuine feelings doesn't usually lead to good results.

If you laugh when you are actually in trouble,
those around you will think, 'They're fine.'
As a result,
the necessary support won't happen.

Polite laughter
might help you get through the moment,
but it rarely improves the situation.

Therefore, there is no need to force yourself to laugh.

◇ The importance of not laughing too much

Laughter certainly softens the mood,
but if it continues for too long, it becomes a burden.

If you are teased repeatedly for the same kind of mistake,
the person involved will get tired.

Even if it starts with laughter, switch to support halfway through.
When you can do this,
it becomes a place where people can laugh again.

Knowing when to stop is also crucial for humor.

◇ Dealing with a flop

In conversation, things don't always go well.

Sometimes a joke doesn't land,
or the reaction is lukewarm.

In those moments,
don't force a recovery; try changing the subject slightly.

Explaining your joke often kills the mood.
Rather than trying too hard to get a laugh with one bit,
it is often more successful
to move on to the next topic in the moment
and save it to share again if another opportunity arises.

Flopping itself is not a problem.
It is a normal thing that happens to everyone.

◇ In conclusion

People who are good at conversation
might not be those who say funny things,
but rather those who are good at handling failure.

Should you turn it into a laugh?
Should you support them?
Should you let it slide?

The accumulation of those small decisions
creates a sense of security in the room.

You don't need to be perfect.
Just being a little conscious of it will make a big difference.

I'm sure
that alone will make conversation much easier.

(*To be continued next time)

Next time,
I will talk about how to create humor that doesn't hurt people.

It looks like it will be a high-energy and 'sincere' topic,
but please come and see it if you'd like.

・～・～・～・～・～・～・

[A word from 🐸]

I am not good at being made the butt of a joke.
But even more than that,
I am not good at situations where someone else is being made the butt of a joke.
I cannot laugh at that kind of humor.

I will intervene, even if it makes things awkward.

For someone who tends to overthink after a failure,
turning it into a joke
can sometimes make it easier for them to bounce back.

The relationship with the other person,
their current state of mind, how easily they get discouraged,
and their resistance to having things turned into a joke.
If I haven't grasped these things,
I consider it a thoughtless follow-up.

I am greedy for laughter, but
if I make someone sad, that's a negative.

Otamakichi:
Thank you for reading until the end, tadpole!
Look forward to the next one too~


Kokopa:I think there are many ways to 'follow up'.
When someone spills something,
getting a cloth from the staff
or cleaning up the table is important.
But I also think that keeping the lively atmosphere of the place going is a form of follow-up.

If it's out of reach,
sometimes the best way to save them is to adopt a stance of
not worrying about the spill at all,
so don't worry too much.

And I would like you to also notice
the consideration of 'not worrying'.

Some frog seems to carry a box of tissues
wherever they go,
though I don't think you need to go that far!

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