Unit 'Sajikagen' Correspondence Vol. 2: How to Deal with Public Contests ② Zakuro Kabashima ⇒ Shibako Akita
This article is part of a correspondence between Zakuro Kabashima and Shibako Akita, members of the creative unit 'Sajikagen.' For more details, please see the cited article below.
Dear Shibako Akita!
I read your previous post, 'How to Deal with Public Contests ①,' with great interest.
Your approach to public contests is so high-minded and stoic, Shibako-san.
From the 'zero-shock' of disappointment to the muscle-training-like repetition of contest entries...!
You're not just a contest warrior; you're an ascetic monk. Your nobility shines through.
So this is the 'Shibako Way'!
・Public contests require not just ability, but also luck.
・Disappointment is natural, but getting depressed is dangerous.
・If you keep writing, a chance will come around again someday.
・Don't be swayed by those around you; create your own writing pace.
Wow, as expected.
Dealing with the uncertainty of public contests really makes your mental state sway back and forth, doesn't it? I also think it's important to take a long-term view while observing things objectively from a slightly detached, meta perspective.
Now, having received the baton of 'How to Deal with Public Contests,' I wondered, 'Wait, what did I do?' and reflected on my own contest history.
Please bear with me for a little trip down memory lane.
I started entering public contests—or rather, started writing—five years ago during the COVID-19 pandemic.
My four years of caring for my father at home had ended, and my youngest child had become a middle schooler.
Just as I was getting excited, thinking, 'Okay, now it's my turn!', COVID hit.
I had been planning to find a job that wasn't temporary or part-time, but my plans were thwarted right at the start.
So, unable to leave our high-density home crowded with three children, I wondered what I should do, and I started using 'note' on a whim.
There, I had my first stroke of beginner's luck.
My article was selected for the first contest I ever entered on 'note'—the 'Haruki Murakami Abandoning a Cat Everyone's Review Contest'—and it was published on the Bunshun website in June 2020.
Since the regrets and lingering thoughts from caring for my father were still fresh, I had a lot of feelings about this essay, 'Abandoning a Cat,' in which Murakami writes about his own father's death. Plus, I had lived in Shukugawa, Nishinomiya City, where the story is set, for several years, so I felt even closer to it.
But to think that something I wrote so casually on a whim would actually get published...?
Note is amazing! I was so surprised.
At the same time, I learned the thrill of having someone read my work.
Yes, I had found out.
Alright, then I'll give this 'public contest' thing a try!
Thinking that, I first subscribed to 'Kobo Guide' (Public Contest Guide), registered on their site, and prepared a dedicated notebook.
The notebook was a Rollbahn.
I'm digressing, but I love Rollbahn notebooks!
My pen pressure is abnormally high, so thin paper just doesn't feel reliable.
That thick, smooth, bright, and gentle cream-colored grid paper.
Stylish covers you can choose based on your mood.
The back cover is also nice and thick, providing stability even when writing in the air.
The name, which means 'runway' in German, is also very auspicious, isn't it?
Yes, it's the best. Perfect.
Well, I prepared that favorite notebook of mine, flipped through the 'Kobo Guide' that arrived, and wrote down my contest schedule.
And I decided that I would absolutely enter at least one contest a month.
I didn't decide on a specific genre. I actually entered various things as a way to study.
I also decided to read at least one book a month on how to write novels or other educational books.
My contest life started so spectacularly, but after that, I didn't get anywhere for a while. Time passed without any results at all... haha.
Of course, every time I was rejected, my heart and nose were broken, but I told myself it was a time for learning, so I managed to bounce back and keep writing diligently.
Still, when that windless state continues for two years, it gets tough.
Maybe I'm not needed. Maybe my writing isn't.
No one reads it.
What am I, continuing to write things that no one reads...?
Darkness periodically creeps into my heart and nests there.
A common contest-related illness.
At times like that, it would be nice to be able to channel that darkness into my work or go eat something delicious with fun friends to change my mood, but...
I didn't have any serious contest-entering friends around me yet, and I hadn't started X (Twitter) yet, so I gradually became desolate while having a mental wall-hitting session by myself.
And then, just as I was gasping for air and the countdown to falling into darkness had begun, thinking, 'Ah, this is no good...', my second stroke of beginner's luck occurred.
In July 2022, I was selected for the top prize in the 'Please, Even a Novel' contest by Kobo Guide, which I had entered for the first time.
Everything comes to him who waits.
I was so happy. A single light was lit in the darkness.
For a while, I printed out Genichiro Takahashi's critique and stuck it in front of my desk as encouragement.
I wrote about my passionate feelings at that time in this article.
Winning an award here led to two events that would influence my subsequent contest life.
One was that it became a catalyst for connecting with other people.
People who went out of their way to search for and find me to share their impressions.
People who tweeted about my work on social media or shared their thoughts with me.
Are they angels? I couldn't believe there were people in this world who would do such things!
My heart trembled. I wasn't alone.
This was the trigger for me to start X, increase my contest friends, share information, and fall into the depths of the contest swamp.
The other was that I developed ambition.
How happy and grateful I was to receive an award and be recognized.
It was a sweet pleasure and joy I had never tasted before.
Ah, I want to go further.
I want to go as far as I can on this path.
I'm willing to give up anything.
I think it was very good that I developed a strong will to write something that isn't just self-satisfaction, but something interesting for anyone to read!
Well, I still can't write it easily, though. Haha.
Looking back again, it's quite haphazard, isn't it?
But I want to call each little thing that brought me here by the name of 'fate.' I'm still in the middle of the journey, not knowing where I'm being carried.
This is rambling, but I'll end it here for now.
Next time, I think I'll let out some stories about the new darkness of my mid-contest period.
Looking forward to it!