It's okay to bloom late, but I want to bloom soon. — Things I had given up on, but always wanted to attract | Happy Writing Marathon #38

When I was a child, a fortune-telling book said, "You are a late bloomer."
I have always used those words as a source of groundless confidence.

I just haven't bloomed yet.
My flower is simply a late bloomer.

"Late bloomer" was a phrase that encouraged me,
and also a magic spell to justify the version of myself that hadn't bloomed yet.

When I first started on note, the screen was always quiet.
After pressing the post button, I would reload the page over and over, only to see the numbers not increasing.

"It's still not enough."
"Maybe my writing style is bad."
"I have to try harder."

Facing the quiet screen, I realized I was criticizing myself.

After much trial and error, I am now able to receive warm 'likes'.
I also feel that, little by little, my words are reaching people.

But, when I suddenly look at others,
I see numbers exceeding 100 just hours after posting.
Overflowing comment sections.

"I'm so jealous..."

Every time I notice myself thinking that, a sharp pain stabs at my chest.
I blame myself a little more for my narrow-mindedness in not being able to be purely happy for them.

Things I had given up on, but had actually wanted to attract for a long time.

It isn't explosive numbers.
It is "luck," "connections," and the kind of charm that naturally draws people's hearts in.

The power that person has, which makes others think, "I want to read this because it's their words."

Since I was young, I have believed that "thoughts become reality."
That if I stay positive, reality will eventually catch up.

But while studying psychology and reflecting on my own actions, I was struck by a realization.

While I said I was wishing for things,
unconsciously, I was always holding back.

I stood in a position where I wouldn't get hurt,
tried to be a "good person,"
and watered down my true feelings.

Even though I said I wanted to attract these things,
perhaps I didn't actually have the "readiness to receive" them.

Attracting things isn't about wishing for them intensely.

It is about slowly loosening the "mask of a good person" I had been gripping so tightly,
aligning my true feelings with my actions,
and practicing how to trust myself.

Flowers do not bloom at someone else's pace.
They have their own season.

I know that in my head.

But, still.

It's okay to be a 'late bloomer,' but I want to bloom soon.

I want to finally reassure the version of me from back then, who waited while believing in 'great talent matures late,' by saying, 'I've bloomed properly now.'

Perhaps.

Rather than making the flower bloom,
acknowledging myself as I try to bloom
might be the true form of attraction.

🌿 In conclusion

I am someone who has long been protected by, and at times bound by, the phrase 'great talent matures late,' but

through 16 years of studying psychology,
I have gradually come to believe in my own 'inner strength.'

If there is anyone else out there struggling like me,
thinking, 'I just can't seem to bloom,'

I would be happy if you would gently read the trajectory of my writing while I waver,
as well as the psychological perspectives that have supported me.

Postscript (About the time waiting for a scheduled post)

I had believed in 'great talent matures late,' but I want to bloom soon. While I was thinking that,
to my surprise, Ken Honda's official note
featured my previous article as a recommended piece...! I'm shaking 😭✨

📚 Related Articles

🔹 Even while wavering, I can stand up again. — What 16 years of psychology taught me [The inner strength to protect myself]
The background behind noticing my 'mask of a good person' and 'unconscious behaviors.'
I write about how 16 years of studying psychology has supported me.

🔹 The heart changes constantly. So, I chose the lighter path. What choices have made you feel your heart has become 'lighter' recently? | Happy Writing Marathon #37
A record of making 'lighter choices' while wavering over numbers and events.
This content shows the emotional movements leading up to this current article.

※ Mr. Honda introduced this as one of the 5 works that particularly moved his heart, saying, 'This is wonderful!'

🔹 If I were to say the kindest words to myself right now | Happy Writing Marathon #36
An episode where I found 'words for myself' while facing my habit of blaming myself.
This is an article that connects to the 'me who was criticizing myself' in this piece.

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#Attraction
#GreatTalentMaturesLate
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#SelfUnderstanding
#DoNotBlameYourself