"Drinking parties are necessary to deepen friendships." ...Is that really true?

Whether it's the PTA,

or the neighborhood association,

or public relations.

Whenever you become an officer,

"Drinking parties are important, you know."

I often hear those words.

To deepen friendships.

To build relationships.

But I have always thought,

"Drinking parties are necessary to deepen friendships."

...Is that really true?

I am not good at drinking parties.

Actually,

I have a very sensitive sense of smell.

I don't like the smell of alcohol.

I don't like the smell of grilling meat either.

I also dislike red fish like tuna,

and in bad cases, I end up gagging without meaning to.

Seeing me like that, my daughter laughs and says,

"Oh, Mom. I'll eat it for you."

And with that, she pulled the plate toward herself.

Seeing that, my father said,

"I can't tell which one of you is the mother."

He said that and laughed.

It's a funny story within our family.

But recently,

I suddenly thought,

perhaps I feel not only the smells I dislike,

but also pleasant scents more strongly than other people do.

The scent carried by the wind.

The smell of the mountains.

The fragrance of the trees.

The clear air near the river.

I have been healed many times by such natural scents.

That is precisely why,

in a space where the smells of alcohol and food overlap,

before I can feel enjoyment,

my body feels "distressed."

It is not a matter of likes or dislikes,

but a physical reaction.

I think it's just how I feel.

So,

"Let's deepen our friendships at a drinking party."

Even when I'm told that,

honestly, I didn't really understand it.

It's not that I don't know what a drinking party is.

I don't want you to misunderstand,

but I don't want to deny the drinking party itself.

When I was working in sales,

there were times I would drink until 3 a.m. before going home.

It was the world of so-called "nomunication."

I would talk to clients at drinking parties,

and sometimes that would lead to work.

So,

I know the fun of drinking parties too.

But looking back now,

the reason I was entrusted with work,

was not because I drank alcohol with them.

I would act immediately when there was a problem.

I would keep my promises.

Delivering necessary information,

at the necessary time.

I believe that such accumulation,

"I can trust this person to handle it."

is what led to that kind of trust.

Things I realized again through public relations

Even now, while working in public relations,

I feel the same way.

People who are trusted,

are not those who frequently attend drinking parties.

They are people who reply quickly.

People who keep their promises.

People who properly deliver necessary information.

People who, to those in trouble,

"Is there anything I can help with?"

can naturally reach out and ask.

Around such people,

people naturally gather.

I, too,

would like to work together with such people.

What is friendship, anyway?

I,

do not believe that friendship,

is about drinking alcohol in the same place.

Being able to consult with each other with peace of mind.

Being able to respect one another.

Being able to help each other when in trouble.

Being able to provide what the other person needs,

properly and reliably.

I believe that kind of relationship,

is much warmer,

and lasts much longer.

That is what I think.

What is truly necessary is

If you like drinking parties,

that is fine.

I think there are people who can have a good time,

and become friends that way.

But,

even those who are not good with drinking parties,

If you have to force yourself to participate,

can't you build a relationship of trust?

I,

do not think so.

People,

each have different ways of feeling.

The places where they feel comfortable,

and the ways they feel secure interacting,

are different for everyone.

Therefore,

the way to deepen friendships,

does not have to be just one.

Trust,

is not born from holding the same glass,

but from facing each other with the same sentiment.

Being considerate of others.

Keeping your promises.

Delivering necessary information,

to the people who need it.

Such small accumulations,

"I want to work with this person."

I believe it leads to feelings like that.

That is why today, too,

I ask myself.

"Drinking parties are necessary to deepen friendships."

...Is that really true?

Please tell me your "Is that really true?"

After reading this article,

what did you feel?

"I like drinking parties."

"Actually, I'm not good with them either."

"I've built trust in other ways."

Any answer is fine.

Right now, through the question "Is that really true?" I am writing an article that re-examines the perceptions we take for granted.

Your voices will become hints for my next article or workshop.

If you would like,

please cooperate with a survey that takes about 3 minutes to complete.

By lottery,

we will present gifts to some participants.

Thank you for your cooperation.

• 1,000 yen Amazon Gift Card

• "Is that really true?" Self-dialogue session (60 minutes)

• Hoshino Village Scent Set (Herbs)

are being given away as gifts.

👉 The survey is here

Free Workshop

"There was a reason why I compare myself to others"

"I have to be the same as everyone else."

"I have to do things properly."

Deep down behind those thoughts,

there is a perception you haven't even noticed yourself.

In this free workshop,

through the question "Is that really true?"

we will re-examine your perceptions.

Instead of someone else's correct answer,

why not spend some time with me finding your own answer?

Would you like to join me?

👉 The free workshop is here

Recommended reading

• "Is a connection with the community necessary?" ...Is that really true?

• "I have to build my own core," is that really true?

The "Is that really true?" series

"Is that really true?" is,

Creating a society where everyone can re-examine their own perceptions.

This is a series written with that thought in mind.

Doubting the "obvious"

does not mean rejecting someone else.

It means pausing for a moment,

and asking yourself a question.

Beyond that,

rather than someone else's correct answer,

you might find your own answer.

Why not ask yourself that question together with me today?

"Is that really true?"

Hashtags

#IsThatReallyTrue
#Nomunication
#PTA
#NeighborhoodAssociation
#PublicRelations
#HumanRelationships
#Trust
#ReexaminingPerceptions
#SelfDialogue
#LivingAuthentically
#Essay
#note