The loneliness of a freelancer was not about being lonely, but about 'information only I don't know'

I. I heard about the transfer in my project from the person being transferred

I was always invited to meetings about policy changes

As a freelancer, I was entrusted with a leadership role in a project at a certain company.

Because I was responsible for the project, I was always invited to meetings regarding policy changes. Work information flowed to me properly. I also felt that I was being invited based on my ability. I thought that even as a freelancer, if my work was being observed, I would be included in decision-making processes.

Even so, 'personnel matters' were decided in employee meetings

At one point, a member of my project was transferred because another project was not going well.

I found out about it three days before the transfer. The person who told me was not the company, but the person being transferred.

It was decided in an employee meeting, and I was not informed. Even though I was the project manager, I heard about my own team's personnel changes secondhand from the person involved. I did end up arguing about it at the time. However, looking back now, I think it couldn't be helped. There was no malice.It was just that I was not on the path where that information flowed in the first place.

Work information comes. But organizational information does not. That is the nature of a freelancer's position.

II. The loneliness of a freelancer is made of structure, not emotion

Employees have an 'invisible sharing network'

Since remote work became established during the COVID-19 pandemic, I have also been working from home more often. That is when I noticed something.

Employees have many places for interaction outside of their duties. Remote drinking parties just for employees. Company trips. Internal information that only flows to employees. Even if everyone is physically separated due to working from home, employees are within this invisible sharing network.

Freelancers cannot access that. Information about the work they are contracted for reaches them, but they are institutionally excluded from the 'things that are vaguely shared' outside of that.

Information about projects comes down in a staircase pattern—freelancers are outside that staircase

Talk of new cases and projects is usually decided at the top of the company. From there, information flows down to managers and then to the front lines, like descending a staircase.

Employees are standing somewhere on this staircase. Even if they do nothing, information will reach them when it is their turn.

Freelancers are outside of this staircase. So, if left alone, the amount of 'information only I don't know' keeps increasing. Even if each piece of information is small, when they pile up, the premises of conversations start to drift. Being the only one who doesn't know what everyone else knows manifests physically as a sense of alienation. This is the state I want to call 'freelancer loneliness'.

That is why freelancers are structurally at a disadvantage compared to employees.

To be blunt, freelancers are absolutely at a disadvantage compared to employees when it comes to information and interaction. While there is, of course, the foundation of maintaining trust through one's own ability, the information and interaction built on top of that will certainly thin out if you do nothing.

The data also aligns with this realization. In a 2024 survey of 600 freelancers (conducted by TechBiz), 40.7% of people said they have felt lonely while working. If limited to those with less than one year of freelance experience, that number rises to 62.5%.

I think the fact that those with less experience feel lonelier is telling. It is because the gap between the 'feeling of being in a web of information' from their days as an employee is greatest right after they go independent.

Another point: the number one reason for feeling lonely in the same survey was 'the difficulty of acquiring and maintaining work.' Many people answered that the cause of their loneliness is anxiety about work. But in my experience, the order is reversed. At the root of the anxiety about not being able to get work is the severance of information and relationships.

III. First, discard the employee mindset that 'information just comes to you'

When I first started, I was passive, still holding onto an employee mindset

So, what should you do? Let me talk about my own experience.

When I first went independent, I was passive.

When I was an employee, information was something that just came to me. I was invited to meetings, shared items were circulated, and someone would tell me in the breakroom. When you go independent with that same mindset, you unconsciously think that if you just wait, information will reach you.

But it doesn't reach you. In the current system, information does not flow to freelancers automatically. If you don't go and ask for it, it won't come. It was only after I had been independent for a while that I truly understood that.

A drink after work and casual chats in between are worth many times more than they are for employees

Having said that, my conclusion is that you don't need elaborate networking techniques.

Going out for a drink after work. Having a little casual chat during work breaks. These actions, which are so natural to employees that they don't realize their value, become many times more important for freelancers. Because while employees are in a sharing network even if they stay silent, for freelancers, these small connections are the only thing that acts as a substitute for that network.

There is also behavioral science to back this up. According to the famous research 'The Strength of Weak Ties' by sociologist Mark Granovetter, useful information related to work is often brought by 'acquaintances you only meet occasionally' rather than strong ties like family or close friends. This is because strong bonds have the same information as you, while weak ties bring information from worlds you don't know.

In other words, there is no need to build deeper bonds than employees do. Even if you cannot enter the information network exclusive to employees, you can create channels to chat with people who are inside that network. If you are outside the staircase, you should talk to the people inside it. My current sources of information are almost entirely built this way.

IV. Relationships were a lifeline for work before they were a matter of happiness

The Harvard 80-year study says 'a good life comes from good relationships'

Harvard University has a longitudinal study called the 'Study of Adult Development' that has been ongoing for over 80 years since 1938. The conclusion summarized by current director Robert Waldinger and his colleagues in their book 'The Good Life' (Tatsumi Publishing) is simple. The strongest predictor of happiness and health was not wealth or fame, but good human relationships.

Therefore, the idea that you shouldn't leave loneliness unaddressed is correct, first and foremost, as a matter of health.

However, for freelancers, there is a more urgent meaning one step before that.

When a project ends and the relationship is severed, the next referral route disappears along with it

In the eight years since I became independent, I have continued to work solely through referrals without doing any sales. From that experience, I can say that referrals only flow through relationships.

When a project ends, if the relationship ends there too, work from that site will never be brought to you again. Conversely, if the relationship remains after the project ends, the phone may ring when you least expect it. My eight years are almost entirely built on that.

In other words, for a freelancer, loneliness is a matter of performance before it is a matter of mood. A state where 'information only I don't know' is increasing is also a state where 'people who remember me' are decreasing.

Summary: When you feel lonely, it's a sign to 'go and ask'

• The true nature of a freelancer's loneliness lies in a structure where 'information only I don't know' increases, rather than just being lonely

• Employees have a shared network invisible to others (internal interactions and information exclusive to the company), and freelancers are institutionally outside of that

• Surveys also show that 40.7% of freelancers feel lonely while working, and this rises to 62.5% for those with less than one year of experience

• The solution is not some grand networking technique. Abandon the employee mindset that 'information comes to you' and go ask for it. A drink after work and casual chats in between are many times more effective than they are for employees

• Relationships are the only path through which the next job flows for a freelancer, before they are a condition for happiness

When you feel lonely, you don't have to think of it as a sign that you are weak. It is just a notification of your position—that you are outside the network. If so, what you need to do is decided. Go and ask. That is all.

Related articles

I wrote here about the specific story of how I have continued for 8 years solely through referrals without doing any sales.

This is the story of the background behind why I became independent in the first place.

Source

• TechBiz Inc. 'Survey on the actual state of mental health among freelancers' (conducted in August 2024, internet survey targeting 600 freelancers aged 20-60)

• Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, 'The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness' (translated by Osamu Kojima, Tatsumi Publishing, 2023)

• Harvard Study of Adult Development (started in 1938)

• Granovetter, M. (1973) "The Strength of Weak Ties," American Journal of Sociology 78(6)