[Serialized Novel] w "My Detour" (1)
(1)
Everyone around me was a stranger, so I was feeling a little nervous.
After all, I hadn't been at that "local school" for very long, and naturally, I didn't feel like I had settled in yet.
Actually, I could understand almost all of the French, but those girls didn't seem to think I understood the French they were speaking.
Well, I knew that racism was common overseas and I had experienced it before, but it's still a shock when it actually happens to you.
I don't know if they meant it that way, or perhaps there was that nuance to it, which is what I was thinking at the time.
But I didn't get that angry. Because even if that were the case, it was their problem, not mine.
Of course, if they had attacked me because of it, I would have had to fight back, but at that time, they didn't do that, and they didn't seem to intend to.
I think they were just curious about me, but well, maybe there was a bit of discriminatory consciousness. Because white people and Asians are different, and even among Asians, I think Japanese people are particularly different.
But at that moment, more than the discriminatory consciousness that might have been deep in their hearts, I was a bit bothered by the expression they used.
Those girls looked at me and said this in a voice loud enough for me to hear:
"She has a shiny nose."
It's true that at the time, I think my nose was oily from nervousness.
They, those girls, didn't seem to think I understood French, so they felt fine even if I heard them, but when I heard that my nose was shiny, I almost laughed.
Of course, if I thought about whether there was discriminatory consciousness, I felt a bit taken aback, and at the same time, I felt a bit embarrassed, but at that moment, I purely found the remark "funny." I mean, I still remember it even now.
Besides, I thought that if I saw a new student with a shiny nose, I might say, "Oh, your nose is shiny," too.
So, maybe there wasn't any discriminatory consciousness after all. I don't know.
Later, after I returned to Japan, a friend from the same university, Rie-chan, also said to me with a laugh:
"Mari, your nose was really shiny when I first met you."
I blurted out, "Oh, I've been told that before!" but when I told her about the local school, Rie-chan looked a bit apologetic and added that she didn't mean it in a bad way.
"Sorry if I offended you," Rie-chan said, but I was actually a little happy.
By that time, I was even proud of my glowing nose.
Rie-chan might have sensed some discrimination in those words, but I didn't care at all.
Besides, I didn't really understand how that could have a strange meaning, so there was no reason for me to be offended.
I thought it was better to be told my nose was glowing than to be told it was dull.
I learned later that "nose glowing" can also mean "being smug" in the West.
But that wasn't the case for me at all, so I think my nose was really glowing.
Well, lately, I've been trying to be careful not to let it glow more than necessary because my friends told me to.
It seems that if I wash it gently with lukewarm water using a face wash a college friend recommended, it doesn't glow as much.
I wasn't that worried about it, but my friends seemed to be, so they taught me what to do. I felt a little sad, but I guess I shouldn't let my nose glow too much.
I've been thinking about my glowing nose for a long time, and there's a reason for that. Actually, right now on the train, there's a man in a suit and tie sitting right in front of me, and his nose is glowing in a way that's truly surprising.
The man had a slightly tired, sleepy look on his face, so he definitely didn't look "smug," so I think his nose is just simply glowing.
Honestly, I thought, "I lost."
Because that man's nose was really shining brightly.
If this man were to get "smug," his nose might glow enough to brighten the whole world.
I was thinking about that while staring at the nose of the man sitting in the seat in front of me, but I wasn't on the train just for that. Obviously.
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