The Story of My Mother-in-Law Who Developed Dementia Part 2

The days I spent seeing her off to day care

Continuing from the previous article. If you haven't read it yet, please start here.

My mother-in-law, who could no longer bathe herself at home, was certified as needing long-term care level 2 and began attending day care.
Before talking about urine leakage, I'll talk a little about the time she was going to day care.

Of course, the days she went to day care were fixed but she naturally couldn't prepare for it herself. First, I had to take her temperature and write it in her communication book. Since she would bathe after arriving, she also needed to bring a change of clothes and paper pants.

It was difficult for my father-in-law to make these preparations. It was impossible to get a husband who didn't get along with his wife to do things like prepare her clothes according to the day's temperature.
In the end, I, the daughter-in-law, ended up going over twice a week, a 20-minute drive each way, to see her off. I would arrive just after 8:00 AM, take her temperature, have her go to the bathroom, help her get dressed, and wait for the 9:00 AM shuttle bus.

Although my mother-in-law could barely do any housework, perhaps due to long-standing habits, she could still operate the washing machine at this time, and she often did laundry in the morning.
Moreover, strangely enough, even during the many years they lived together as a couple, they seemed to have maintained a style where each of them only washed their own clothes.

Because of that, my mother-in-law would put her own things in the washing machine, run it through the usual procedure, and then hang them out to dry, but that laundry smelled strange.
I learned for the first time that this was what an ammonia smell, or urine smell, was.
If you feel this information is not particularly necessary for you, you are free to leave here.

I apologize for the indelicate topic ahead (1)

This urine smell was a very troublesome thing, and even when washed with regular detergent, the smell wouldn't come out at all. I suspect this kind of topic is rarely touched upon even in nursing care books. (I couldn't find any)

When I consulted the care manager, saying, 'She's wearing paper pants and they aren't leaking, so why do her trousers smell?', I received the shocking point that there are individual differences in the strength of urine odor, and unfortunately, she seems to be the type with a strong odor. I was surprised here too, thinking, 'Is that how it is?'
In other words, the smell transfers to the clothes, even if there's no leakage.

When I started getting involved in my mother-in-law's care, the first hurdle was the problem of what to do about this smell.
'Super strong deodorizing' or 'Refreshes odors'—even with commercially available detergents labeled like this, perhaps because the strong scent of the detergent masked it right after washing, I would think, 'Oh, did it come out?', but the smell would return after it dried, which was distressing.

So, I arrived at a type of detergent that wasn't a synthetic detergent (containing no surfactants), a detergent with a high soap content. It just so happened that my sister-in-law is the type who likes natural or organic things, and she had heard from somewhere that soap is better for odors originating from people, so I tried it.

What I used was a liquid soap called 'Emina'. It's quite expensive, but since it's a type you dilute, maybe it's not that bad. There might be other similar products, but I tried this one for now.

When I used it, the odor removal was indeed far better than synthetic detergents, and it seemed there was no return of the smell after drying. Soaking was also essential, so it was a hassle, but anyway, finding a detergent that could remove the smell was good news.

Even so, I wonder how nursing facilities and the like handle the laundry of residents, and what they do about clothing odors. They surely can't go through the trouble of soaking everything.
Is there some kind of powerful commercial-grade detergent
that's different from retail products? With so many elderly people and so many families providing care at home, I felt it would be nice if I could find more information about that online.

I apologize for the further indelicate topic (2)

Well, my mother-in-law started attending day care around March of last year, but by the summer, urine leakage at night began to occur frequently.
When my father-in-law came down from the second floor around 6:00 AM, my mother-in-law, who slept on the first floor, was already running the washing machine. She had also stripped the sheets, which meant that she had already leaked at those times.

As I wrote in yesterday's note, there are many types of adult diapers now, and the nighttime type has an absorption capacity of over 1 liter.
If I recall, assuming one use is 150cc, the package says it's for 5 or 7 uses. Since I was using the 7-use type, it should have an absorption capacity of over 1 liter! So why does it leak?! I was truly puzzled.

Why it leaks—I haven't been able to determine the cause, but this is what I thought.
My mother-in-law is petite and has shrunk quite a bit, so she is 145 centimeters tall and has thin legs, so maybe even the S-size paper pants were a bit too big. When someone with this body type lies down, gaps might form depending on their posture.
So, I predicted that it wasn't a capacity issue, but a gap leakage, and thought of a way to fill the gaps.

By the way, at this time, when she was at home, she was either eating or sleeping, and if she sat on the bed, she would soon lie down and doze off, so even for a nap, gap countermeasures were necessary.
What I thought of was to layer a pad, originally for underwear, inside the paper pants. By doing so, I thought the fit would improve and it would absorb quickly, preventing leaks.

Pads specifically for paper pants are also sold, but they are very large, and I think it would be difficult for an elderly person with dementia to put them on and take them off alone in the bathroom. At the very least, my mother-in-law couldn't. Perhaps it's a product that assumes a caregiver will do it for them? So, I decided to stick underwear pads inside all the paper pants in advance and have her use them. I don't know how effective it was, but
I would like to believe it had some effect.

Even so, although it decreased, leaks continued to happen once or twice a week, and in the meantime, we proceeded to the next stage, which I was most concerned about.

Oops, it has become quite long again here, so I will stop here for today.
I intend to write about the process leading up to her moving into a special nursing home and settling in after admission tomorrow.
If you ask why I am writing such raw stories,it is because I hope that people struggling with similar issues will read about my experience and find something useful in it, even if it is just one thing.I apologize if anyone finds this unpleasant.

Please continue to the next article here.