Are Parents Detectives for Their Children!? 🔍 Even a Clueless Detective Has Love ✨ [Essay]

Realizations from the deep swamp of parenting!

When I first started parenting, I knew nothing and was stuck in a swamp.

My eldest daughter, in particular, had night crying that lasted until she was about two.
And the subsequent 'terrible twos' phase was intense.
The terrifying “I, do, it, my, self!” still echoes in my brain.

My second daughter was a handful because of her strong will.
And she was an incredibly active child. Outside, for three seconds, if I took my eyes or hands off her, she would vanish.

She was a bundle of curiosity.
Her desire for movement didn't resemble either of her parents.
She would run up every set of stairs she saw.
At the park, she wouldn't even look at the playground equipment and would run from one end to the other. Huh, she's gone!

What could it be?
My understanding and capacity were both exceeded.
I asked many people for advice and read many parenting books.

Perhaps because I missed reading printed text, I read parenting books.
For some reason, other types of writing wouldn't sink in.
It wasn't the internet, but paper books that warmed my heart.

Although no hint served as a definitive 'solution,' while I was thinking and thinking and thinking, there was one thing that clicked.

Parenting is a mystery to be solved.

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I have always liked detectives.
Both books and dramas, I mainly like mysteries.

Even when friends ask, 'What's so interesting about them?', I end up answering, 'I don't think it's a special genre.' After all, isn't life like solving a mystery?

How can I do this job well?
Why does this have this shape?
What was after the '...but' that person said at that time?

The more I think about it, the more I feel that life is full of mysteries I want to solve.

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'Our job is like prime factorization'

is what a certain newspaper reporter said in the social mystery novel 'The Voice of Sin' (by Takeshi Shiota)—and I love this way of thinking.

'It's no easy task to keep dividing until you reach prime numbers, but you must not give up,' the reporter continues—.

That's right.

Isn't the life of an ordinary person like me also like a repeated prime factorization, asking 'what is the essence?'

That's right, that's right.
If so,

Parenting might also be like solving a mystery

—that perspective fell from the sky one day.

You are a labyrinth, aren't you? I thought, as I stared intently into those round eyes.

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Children are full of mysteries.
But more than that, the motivation of "I want to know you so badly", is what gives birth to a "detective." Yes,

To protect and raise you, a detective is born.

So you don't like carrots?
But you'll eat them if I put them in a hamburger (a classic).

You won't put your toys back in their home (the box), but you absolutely insist on putting on your socks and shoes "by, my, self!" (sob).

"Mom and Dad, don't just observe your children, please observe 'what your children are looking at'"—well then, let's explore these rubber bands and plastic bags.

Why do you always cry during the scene where Anpanman gets a new face?
Is it true that you didn't actually need to pee, but just wanted attention?

Why only this picture book?
Because you like rabbits?
Wait, is it because it's the book Mom reads most happily?
I didn't know you valued things like that.

Thank you for telling me.

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A story from a mother's experience.
Her child started saying, "I don't want to go" to swimming class.
She encouraged them by saying, "You decided to do it yourself, so do your best," but when she listened very, very carefully, it turned out they were scared of the shower before getting into the pool.

One child started crying, saying they didn't want to go to nursery school.
What's wrong? You like your teacher and your friends, right...?
When she listened very, very carefully, it turned out that because they had been scolded by Mom before bed yesterday and couldn't say sorry or make up with her, they didn't want to leave her today, but couldn't quite say it.

Children are mysterious, aren't they?

But I feel like there were many such things in our house too.

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Here is one "realization" of my own that I'm not sure can be called "solving a mystery."

There are times when I suddenly think "I get it!" while struggling or worrying.

Aren't children composed of roughly three elements?

Perhaps which one of those has the strongest influence on the child is what appears as their "individuality."

They are

"Genetics, Environment, and Soul."

Even when I say "soul," I don't have any special religious beliefs, and regarding spiritual matters, I feel like "there might be such things."

So, in this case, "soul" is meant as "the person themselves, beyond logic".

For example, my eldest daughter is strongly influenced by "heredity and environment."
Her love for numbers and scientific thinking are just like her father's (my husband).
She is also laid-back like me, and became a book lover due to her environment.
In a sense, my eldest daughter is easy to understand.

However,my second daughter is a mysteryto me.
Even though her face resembles mine, I don't feel either parent's mood in her thoughts or preferences.

Her love for books is an environment I provided, but other than that, she goes full-throttle on things I never taught her and weren't even around her (like animals, crafts, and sports).

I've come to accept this asher own unique "soul."Ever since then, I've been able to think, "What an interesting soul has come to our home."

Welcome to our home.
Welcome to my detective agency (oops, wrong).

Once I stopped thinking things like "who does she take after," "why aren't they similar," or "even though they're siblings," it became easier to face each of them individually.

This is my own way of solving a mystery, and whether it's correct or not doesn't matter.

A great detective solves not just mysteries but hearts as well,after all. If my heart is saved, I suppose I can call this a "great deduction."

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Detective, what will you do next?

Our parenting journey is still at a midpoint.
But looking back a little, since my second daughter passed the age of 10, thecolor of her as an individualhas become even more vivid.

What she dislikes, she dislikes; what she wants to do, she does. I am me.

Of course, while she still retains a childlike cuteness, there isyour complex, intricate worldright there.

Around the time my eldest daughter became a middle schooler, I suddenly realized as a parent that the time for daily intervention in her inner life had passed. Hmm.

Sometimes she's looking at her smartphone.
Sometimes she goes out with friends.

She no longer tells her parents every little thing she's worried about at school.

Oh, I see.

You guys no longer give me "hints or clues to understand you" on a daily basis.

You've reached that age, haven't you.
But I have no regrets.
We read books together.

I've asked you so, so many times what kind of books you liked at what age, and what kind of feelings you had about what stories.

I know that a person completely different from me was already appearing at that time.

I watched you become an individual, like a stop-motion film.

Even the color of your eyes and your hands holding your favorite book.
I can remember them vividly.

I suppose I will continue to explore you both, using these memories as one powerful clue.

Because when you have a smartphone, I feel like I'm suddenly missing the pieces to solve the puzzle that is you.
I watch you, thinking it would be lonely if the number of unsolved cases increases.
This problem is also quite troubling.

To all the moms and dads currently raising little ones.
The time before they get a smartphone might be the real test of Chapter 1 for the parent-detective..
Offered with a prayer as a small piece of advice.

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I've always admired great detectives.
What I realized after becoming a parent is,

that parents become their children's great detectives—before they even realize it.

That is what it is.

Is it this? Is it that?
The situation changes rapidly, and the day of resolution rarely seems to come.

And perhaps parents make mistakes too, and from time to time—no,surely on a daily basis, we become "bungling detectives".

I'm bound to present some ridiculous deductions anyway (in my case).

Even so, I want you to understand. There is love.

When you are sad, when you are in trouble, I am the first to come to your aid,and I truly wish to be your great detective from the bottom of my heart. Right, Watson?

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"Have you figured out your child?
Mother, what will you do now?"

—Please gather everyone in the hall.

It rarely goes that way.

Even so, as long as you are here,
a parent is their child's great detective.

I have no intention of retiring from this trade just yet.

Shall I hang up the sign for the"My Child's (Bungling) Detective Agency" again this year?

—Now then 🕵‍♀

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Thank you so much for reading until the end!
Whether you are currently raising children or not—I pray that calm and gentle moments visit you every day ✨
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February 2026, it's finally starting, isn't it"Detective Precure!" 💞 　
I was surprised when I heard! But I don't think being a great detective is special content 🔍 You, me, and the child in front of us are all great detectives 🕵‍♀
I want to embrace and nurture that feeling of "wanting to know" ✨
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↓↓↓ The following is a digression

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🔳 This is an article I wrote when I first heard about 'Detective Precure!'. There is no new information about the program (lol) ↓↓↓

🔳 If you'd like, I've also written things like this ↓↓↓

・I write a magazine called 'Gentle Tricks to Guide Children to Love Books'ーThe result of raising them with paper books until age 10ー

・The secret to a bookshelf that makes children want to reach outbookshelf secretsーーWhat are the five things there?

・'Gentle Tricks to Guide Children to Love Books' (Magazine)

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・I want to share the fun of mysteries! (Magazine)

・Talking about 'movies I'm glad I encountered' (Magazine)

・[True Story] My sister with zero life expectancy, unable to see her child due to slow mediation, died with regrets (Magazine)