[22] [License renewal, even though it's just a matter of answering] On the day my life ended, I still drank my morning coffee. -Newspaper Delivery Edition-

■ This story is based on the author's actual experiences.
・Honestly, I am exposing my shame to the extreme.
・This is a record of the life I have lived (non-fiction).
・I aim to update almost every day.

[License renewal, even though it's just a matter of answering]

"Excuse me, do you have a moment?"

I was addressed.

At first,
I didn't know if they were talking to me.

When I looked up,
the official was looking at me.

The moment my name was called,
my back stiffened.

I hadn't done anything.

But,
I was afraid of being called by my name.

"Please come this way."

The place I was guided to
was different from the flow I had been in until then.

It wasn't the counter.
It wasn't the lecture room either.

A place slightly tucked away.

There,
there was a police officer.

My chest
felt cold.


"A missing person report has been filed."


At first,
I didn't understand the meaning.

I heard the words.

But,
they didn't sink into my head.

A missing person report.

About me?

Someone
is looking for me.

"As far as we are concerned, it was confirmed that there was no criminal involvement, your health was good, and you left home of your own free will, so we were not actively pursuing it."

The police officer
spoke in a detached manner.

It wasn't an accusatory tone.

They weren't angry either.

They were just
explaining the facts.

"However, it seems your mother requested the Fukuoka Prefectural Police to look into it, thinking you would surely renew your license somewhere when the time came."

Mother.

That one word
sank deep into my chest.

It was heavy.

"So, an inquiry came to us this time, and we have confirmed it."

The police officer's voice
was quiet the whole time.

But,
that quietness was even harder to bear.

No criminal involvement.

Health is good.

Left home of my own free will.

It's not wrong.

Everything,
it's not wrong.

I ran away on my own.

I wasn't kidnapped by anyone.

I hadn't collapsed either.

I am alive.

I am working.

I am delivering newspapers.

I am drinking coffee too.

Therefore,
health is good.

That was correct.

Even though it was correct,
I couldn't breathe well.


Mother
remembered the time for my license renewal.

She even remembered
something like that.

The things I was trying to forget,
Mother had not forgotten.

Birthday.

License renewal.

Name.

Address.

Whether I am alive or not.

The things I intended to throw away,
on the other side,
had not been thrown away yet.


"We will inform your family that you are safe."

The police officer said.

Safe.

That word
got stuck.

Am I safe?

I am delivering newspapers.
I have a place to sleep.
I can drink coffee.
I am not injured.

If so,
maybe I am safe.

But,
the word 'safe'
felt a bit too big for me.

"Can you get in touch with them?"

I was asked that.

I couldn't answer immediately.

Mother's face came to mind.

Before I left home.
The last words we exchanged.
Things I couldn't say.
Things I ran away without saying.

Everything,
came back all at once.

The newspaper delivery dormitory.
Morning delivery.
Map.
Contract list.
Misdelivery.
Mud-covered newspapers.
Miyamoto-san's side dishes.
1:00 AM coffee.

Every day since I came here,
felt distant in an instant.

I was
still in the middle of running away.

And yet,
at the end of the escape route,
I was caught up by Mother's name.


"___I understand."

Saying just that
was all I could do.

My voice
didn't sound like my own.

The police officer
didn't blame me.

They didn't lecture me either.

They just
made the necessary confirmations,
and gave the necessary explanations.

That's why,
there was no place to run.

It might have been easier
if someone had gotten angry at me.

"What are you doing?"

If they had said that,
maybe it would have been enough to apologize.

But,
no one was angry.

Just,
Mother was looking for me.

Only that fact
was there.


The license renewal was over.

The new license
is in my wallet.

It should have been just that.

Write my name,
take a photo,
take the lecture,
and go home.

That should have been it.

But,
there,
I remembered that I was still someone's son.

The name I intended to throw away
was still being called somewhere.

The me I intended to disappear
was still being looked for by someone.

When I left the venue,
the light outside was dazzling.

In my pocket,
the new license felt a bit hard.

I stopped.

I took a deep breath.

Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.

I have to contact them.

Mother.

That I am alive.

That I ran away on my own.

That I still
cannot return.

Even so,
that I am alive.

I have to tell her.

I thought so.

Just by thinking it,
my feet wouldn't move.

[Next story] [23] To [I was watching two names]

Published on 4/27

■ Creative Award 2026 Entry
(Horror Novel Category / Psycho-Horror)
・Since this is a Creative Award 2026 entry, reading this as well would give me huge energy.

■ Thank you for reading this far.
If even one thing stayed with you,
please let me know with a [Like].
If you [Follow] me,
it will be the energy to write the continuation.

■ For first-timers
・This is an introduction to my messy life.
→Profile

■ Serialized below (non-fiction)
・I am exposing my shame and writing about my messy life.
"On the day my life ended, I still drank my morning coffee."

[Chapter 1: Disappearance Edition]
→Read from the table of contents
→Read from1st episode

[Chapter 2: Newspaper Delivery Edition]
→Read from the table of contents
→Read from1st episode