Taking a little break from being a 'nice person.' How to set gentle boundaries to protect your heart.
Hello, this is Ellie😊
The other day, I received an invitation from a friend, and
I noticed that my feelings at that moment
were a little different than before.
The old me would have,
“They went to the trouble of inviting me, so it would be rude not to go,”
“What if they hate me if I say no...”
and I would have put my own exhaustion on the back burner
and said “YES” even if it was a struggle😅
But lately, I
have been able to say this.
“Thanks for the invite! I’m happy you thought of me🌸
I’m prioritizing what I want to do right now.
So please invite me again next time🌠”
■ Saying 'no' is not the same as rejecting someone
As an HSP,
you are sensitive to
others' expectations and feelings of disappointment, aren't you?
That is precisely why
the act of “saying no” feels like
a grave sin that hurts the other person to you.
But, at one point, I suddenly thought.
Is it really “kind” to the other person
to force myself to go meet them
and sit there with an exhausted look on my face?
I don’t think you can pour kindness into someone else
when your own cup is empty.
“Saying no” is not about rejecting the other person, but about drawing a “boundary”
to treat yourself with care.
And that, in turn, leads to keeping your relationship with them long
and healthy as well✨
■ The 'gentle way to say no' that I am mindful of
These are the small rules I have been valuing lately to protect my heart.
First, clearly express your “gratitude for the invitation”💐
Respect your current state by saying, “I need time to recharge right now.”
Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” add a future prospect by saying “Let’s do it another time.”
Immediately after saying "NO,"
you might feel a slight sting in your chest.
But,the "quiet sense of relief" that followswill be
the greatestgift to yourself🎁😊
■ Where are your boundaries right now?
If you are currently
running out of breath trying to meet someone else's expectations.
Take a little break from being a "nice person," and
show yourself the utmost kindness.
I think it's okay to have days like that, too.☕️
May you spend tomorrow, too, within comfortable boundaries
and at your own natural pace.🌈