The spirit of hospitality does not fade even with dementia

I previously worked as a manager at a group home (community-based long-term care for people with dementia).

Before a resident moved in, I would conduct home visits to speak with the individual and their family.

Among those visits, there is an event I still cannot forget.

One day, I visited a home where an elderly couple lived together.

The wife, who had dementia, was considering moving into the group home.

We were able to converse naturally, but when the topic turned to recent events or memories, I noticed her skillfully changing the subject or glancing toward her family.

Even so, as we were talking in a calm atmosphere, the wife smiled and said this:

I will go make some tea.

With that, she stood up and headed toward the kitchen.

I could hear the sound of the gas stove being turned on and the clinking of dishes.

It took a little while, but it was clear that she was doing her best to prepare tea for her guest.

And what the wife handed me when she returned was

a glass of cold milk.

She had originally intended to serve me hot tea, I am sure.

Perhaps the steps or the goal got mixed up along the way.

Even so, that milk tasted delicious to me.

In it, there was

the desire to welcome a guest.

This is because it was filled with that very warm feeling.

I told them, "It was delicious. Thank you."

I still cannot forget the happy smile they showed me at that moment.

When one develops dementia, it is easy to focus on the things they can no longer do.

However, this incident taught me something important.

- Even if memory declines, the feeling of caring for others remains.

- Even if one cannot do things perfectly, the "heart that wants to try" is not lost.

- It is not just the result, but the process itself that reveals a person's true character.

We caregivers sometimes end up evaluating people based on whether they "could or could not do" something.

But isn't what is truly important to accept what that person was thinking and what they were trying to convey?

Even if one develops dementia, their individuality and kindness are not lost.

The glass of milk I was given that day was an act of 'hospitality' I will never forget.

Even now, when I am unsure about how to provide support, I remember this event.

Value the intention to do something, rather than whether it was successfully completed.

I want to continue providing support without ever forgetting that perspective.

Third Generation Pinned Post

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