Stuck in the same rut again... Break the negative loop with the '1-Minute Questioning Method'

Hello everyone, it's Yoshi, the Flipper President!

“I’m worrying about the same thing again...”
“Why do I get so negative?”
“I understand it in my head, but my feelings just won't catch up...”

Have you ever had an experience like that?

Actually, when I tried asking myself a certain questioning technique I used to use with athletes and students in coaching, I was surprised at how calm I became.

Today, I’m going to talk about that '1-minute questioning habit'! It’s really simple but incredibly effective, so please read until the end and give it a try!

You can break the negative loop with a 1-minute question

“It’s no use... nothing is going well at all.”

A long time ago, a student said that with their shoulders slumped. At that moment, I asked them these questions:

“What exactly are you feeling right now?”
“Is that a fact? Or is it just how you feel?”
“So, what can you do next?”

Then, strangely enough, the athlete's expression began to change right before my eyes.

“Oh... I see. I was confusing facts with my own emotions.”
“There are still things I can do.”

I was the most surprised by this change myself.

“Couldn't I use this on myself, too?”

When I thought that and tried it... it was truly effective!

By the way, this is a phenomenon in psychology called metacognition. Simply put, it is the ability to view your own thoughts objectively.

Brain science research also shows that when you view your emotions objectively, the part of the brain that controls emotions (the prefrontal cortex) becomes activated.

In other words, 'questioning yourself' is scientifically proven to be effective.

Why does 'questioning yourself' work?

Actually, I also had a moment that led me to learn this objective view.

When I was a student, there was something I often did when I felt down. I would make time to turn off all the lights in my room and listen to music at full volume.

At first, I thought of it as "escapism." But looking back now, that time was actually "time to face my true self without worrying about what others think."

In the darkness, I suddenly realized something.

"What am I essentially worried about right now?"
"Is this current worry really as big a problem as I think it is?"

I realized that I was unconsciously asking myself questions like that.

In that moment, I felt a strange sense of relief.

This was the power of "objectivity."

The problem lies not in the "problem itself," but in "how you approach the problem."

This realization later became the starting point for me as a coach to pose questions to my athletes.

And now, I have developed the habit of asking myself the same questions on a daily basis.

For example, when something doesn't go well at work.

Where I used to get depressed and think, "It's all over," I can now naturally switch to constructive questions like, "Why didn't it go well?" "What should I do next?" and "What other approaches are there?"

This change is truly life-changing.

3 questions you can ask right now

"But what specific questions should I ask?"

I'm sure you're thinking that.
Don't worry, it's very simple.

When you feel negative, try asking yourself these three questions in order.

[Question 1] Assessing the situation: "How do I feel right now?"

First, let's give a name to your emotions.

Instead of just saying "I feel vaguely uneasy," try to be specific, such as "anxiety," "impatience," "anger," or "sadness".

Just doing this will help organize your emotions a little.

By putting your emotions into words, the feeling part and the thinking part of your brain begin to work together.

For example...
"Right now, I am feeling 'anxious'."
"I feel a strong sense of 'impatience'."
"Maybe there's some 'frustration' too..."

[Question 2] Fact-checking: "Is this a fact? Or an assumption?"

Next, calmly examine the cause of those emotions.

"It will definitely go wrong"
=> Is this true? Have you broken it down and thought about it?
"Everyone is making fun of me"
=> Is that a fact? What is the evidence? How many people is 'everyone'?
"It's already too late"
=> Is there really nothing you can do? Isn't there at least one thing you can do?

In many cases, our worries are caused by "assumptions" or "excessive imagination".

Separating what is actually happening from how you feel about it is very important.

[Question 3] Action selection: "What is the next small step?"

Finally, focus your attention on constructive action.

"What is a small step I can take right now?"

The key is the word "small." You don't need to seek a big solution all at once.

For example...
"Let's just take a deep breath for now."
"Let's try consulting someone I trust."
"Tomorrow, I'll just focus on doing such-and-such."

These three questions can really be done in one minute once you get used to them.

And strangely enough, this one minute will make you feel much better.

A step-by-step approach to starting

"I understand, but will I be able to keep it up...?"

I understand that feeling well. I'm not very good at consistency either.

But it's okay. If you start step-by-step, it will definitely become a habit.

Week 1: Just one minute before bed

First, try reflecting on today's emotions before you go to sleep.

'How did you feel today?'

This one question is enough. To start, simple answers like 'I'm tired' or 'It was fun' are perfectly fine.

Week 2: Add it to your lunch break

Once you get used to it, try practicing it after lunch or during your break.

'How did you feel this morning?'
'What should I focus on this afternoon?'

Week 3 and beyond: Whenever you feel like it

Once it becomes a habit, practice it immediately the moment you feel yourself becoming negative.

As soon as you realize, 'Oh, I'm feeling down,' ask yourself the three questions.

When you can do this naturally, your mind will feel truly lighter.

I learned this from my own experience of writing this blog every day for the past seven months, and the secret to consistency is 'not seeking perfection'.

The power of continuing with 70% quality for five days is far stronger than one-off high quality.
Even if you forget for a day or slack off for three, it's okay. Just think of the next day as Day 1 and start fresh.

Consistency becomes 'mental strength training'

This questioning habit is, in a sense, 'mental strength training'. Just like physical training, the effects increase the more you continue.

What you initially had to consciously ask yourself will gradually become a natural way to view things objectively.
When that happens, even if you fall into a negative situation, you will be able to regain your composure immediately.

The athletes and students I coach who have acquired this questioning habit have clearly become mentally stronger.

Even pre-game nerves can be calmly accepted as, 'I'm nervous right now. But this is natural. It might be proof that I'm focused'.

Moreover, this is a skill that can be applied not just to sports, but to work, relationships, and life in general.

A small step starting today

So, why not start today?

First, ask yourself tonight before you go to sleep.

"How did you feel today?"

That is all it takes.

And, if you would like, please let me know your thoughts after trying it in the comments section.

"I felt this way"
"It was surprisingly effective"
"It didn't work out for me"

I would be happy to hear any feedback.

Let's continue this mental strength training together!

Your small changes might become someone else's courage.

So, thank you again for reading this far.

If you found this content helpful or would like to try it, I would be happy if you could support me with a "Like❤️", "Follow✅", and "Share♻️"!

See you next time!
Bye for now!

Finswimming Specialist
Finfish President Yoshihide Sekino

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