10 Months Off Effexor | Tapering off sleeping pills enters the final stage. Dayvigo down to 2.5mg | 2 years and 7 months of depression treatment (5 months in remission)

Medication dosage

Effexor: Off medication
Sleeping pill Dayvigo (5mg → 2.5mg)

Number of consultations

37th consultation

This is how the month went

I reduced my Dayvigo again this month. Finally down to 2.5mg.
I think it's been about three years since my medication dosage was this low.

It's been a long road.
I'd think I was moving forward, only to take a step back, or tread water for months at a time.
All sorts of things happened.
Even so, before I knew it, I'd made it this far.
Honestly, I'm surprised myself.
The resilience of a living organism... I can feel something like that.

The progress of this taper was very similar to the last one.
I was able to sleep for the first few days, but after that, my sleep time shortened and the quality wasn't great.

The more I reduce the medication, the longer a lingering 'unpleasant feeling' remains, and I can't tell if it's withdrawal symptoms, autonomic nervous system imbalance, or both.
This time, it took about three weeks to start stabilizing.
I stabilized safely, but three weeks is definitely too long...

I'm still in a 'neither good nor bad' state, but perhaps because of the continuing cold days, there were many days where my physical condition was just 'so-so'.
Even within that 'so-so' state, I feel like there were more days where I thought, 'this might be a bit iffy'.

I have almost no libido. No morning erections either.

As always, I don't have much surplus energy right now.

In the midst of that state, I had job interviews.
Almost every day, I met with applicants, listened to them, and evaluated them.

Regardless of whether it's meaningful or not, meeting and talking to people is tiring.
Besides, I'm not good at job interviews in the first place.

Even if I read through a resume and talk to someone face-to-face for 60 minutes, in the end, you don't know until you actually work together.
Moreover, it's not like that person and I will be working together all the time.

I'm not good at it.

However, listening to various people's stories is interesting and has its own appeal.
That part is fun.

I continued with strength training and CrossFit this month.
Moving my body teaches me through physical sensation that changing things requires 'time,' 'patience,' and 'consistency'.

Above all, it carves the reality of 'being alive' into my brain.
That's why I can't stop.

Come to think of it, there was a very surprising event at the end of the year.
It seems my life still has unexpected events in store.
I can't explain the reason well, but for some reason, I felt saved.

"Maybe it's okay to keep living a little longer."

That was how I felt, proactively, during the last few days of 2025.
I was surprised that I could even feel that way.

Perhaps the act of "living" is something we can continue because these kinds of events happen periodically.

Even so, the experience of being "surprised from the bottom of my heart" was refreshing.
I think it's because I've lived for a fair amount of time, and such experiences are decreasing year by year.

The acne on my scalp just won't heal.
Even though I've changed antibiotics three times. I wonder how I should deal with this...

Come to think of it, I don't think I've met anyone in my private life for the past month.

I failed the Rental Real Estate Management exam. Passing this exam is now one of my goals for next year.

The tinnitus, which is a withdrawal symptom from stopping Effexor, still remains.

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