8 Months Off Effexor | Reducing Dayvigo to 7.5mg | 3 Months in Remission from Depression | 2 Years and 5 Months of Treatment

Medication Dosage

Effexor: Discontinued
Sleep medication Dayvigo (10mg → 7.5mg)

Number of Consultations

Consultation (35th)

It was a month like this

The day of the real estate agent exam.
Honestly, it was difficult.

I was too used to my brain operating on the premise that "if I think about it, I can solve it," like in mock exams and past papers,
so I couldn't handle the actual exam questions well.
Partway through, I felt my brain starting to reject the information processing itself,
and only panic took over.

With my brain's current condition,
it was impossible to run through a 2-hour exam without a break.
Swallowed by the difficulty and unable to switch gears effectively,
before I knew it, I was in over my head.

There are many things to reflect on.
And above all,
it was an event that forced me to face
"what state my brain is currently in" whether I liked it or not.

My self-scoring is 35 points.
Honestly, I don't know what will happen.

After the exam ended, I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion.
My head felt fuzzy, and then a headache started.
I think I used my brain well beyond its capacity.

I have also applied for the Rental Real Estate Business Manager exam.
However, I haven't been able to decide what I should do yet.

Through this series of experiences, one thing has become clear.
My treatment for depression is over.
But my brain's functions are still in the middle of recovery.
If I try to face things with the same feeling as before, it causes strain.
I am finally starting to accept the reality that "I am different from before."

I don't know how much I can recover.
That is precisely why,
I have no choice but to gradually learn ways to use my brain and body
in a new form that suits the current me.

I took the reduction of Dayvigo one step further.
From 10mg to 7.5mg.

What surprised me was that this time, there were almost no withdrawal symptoms.
On the contrary, I was able to get
longer, higher-quality sleep than when I was on 10mg.

The moment I woke up,
"I feel great. My body is full of energy."
How long has it been since I felt that way?

Perhaps it is also the influence of starting to use wireless earphones specifically for sleep.
It was so comfortable, I was honestly surprised.
These kinds of small adjustments actually work for me now.
I was a little happy to be able to think that.

CrossFit and strength training are still tough.
There are some exercises where I seriously think I'm going to die.
I'm still bad at double-unders, and I trip over the rope many times.
It's frustrating.
But I don't want to give up.
In the end, I remind myself that "I just have to keep at it steadily."

In the midst of that,
there was a day I was able to jump a few double-unders in a row.
It was just that, but
I was genuinely happy.
This is undoubtedly a solid step forward.

The day after meeting a lot of people, I inevitably feel tired.
Even if it's fun, it drains my energy.
There are days when I don't want to do anything.

The time has returned when I can feel that reading is fun again.
The pace at which I follow the pages is also returning.
Learning is a way of tuning my brain,
and it serves as a condition check.
It's a big deal that I've come to think of it that way.

The desire to learn new things is gradually returning.
It's good that I can measure my own state by learning.

There's no need to rush.
Taking it step by step is fine.
I can just start moving again from where I'm able to.

Things don't change drastically all at once.

The tinnitus, which is a withdrawal symptom from stopping Effexor,
still remains.

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