Caregiving, Family Relationships, and Nervous System Changes in HSP | Day 17

Due to the sexual behavior (sexual harassment) of my father, who has dementia, there was a period where I couldn't go to provide care.
“If it were someone else like Mr. G, I could handle it!
I could even kiss him if I had to.”
But with my own father, it was impossible. In the momentum of trying to defend myself, I accidentally left deep scratches on my elderly father's arm, and I suffered from

the guilt of that as well.

Just having someone stand behind me would make my nerves stand on edge, causing me to shout or

Even in unrelated places (like a supermarket), I struggled with symptoms where I would shout over minor things, causing people around me to turn and look. I was troubled by this.

While refueling, I had a mysterious delusion that 'there is a non-zero chance that the gasoline will ignite and I will die in an explosion,' lol. Because of this,
for many years, I would refuel while cowering in fear,
so rather than an isolated symptom,

it was completely that, yes. (By the way, this state was
caused by a misprediction circuit in the brain, and it disappeared through a life of meditation.)

When my daughter's developmental support reached a milestone, I cleaned out my parents' house, which had become a hoarder's den so bad it took two 4-ton trucks to clear, and I spent about 8 years visiting my parents with dementia to provide care.

This August, following my daughter's emergency surgery, other family members began to intervene. For the first time in 8 years, I have been able to spend my days in peace and calm, and as a result of deepening my introspection through a life of meditation, I can clearly feel the improvement in my mind and body these days.

In particular, when I saw my father the other day for the first time in four months, I didn't experience any symptoms, and I was able to analyze other changes in my previous article, so I will record the specific circumstances below.

■ A caregiving situation where HSP symptoms did not appear

My visit to my parents' house after four months had the worst possible conditions.

The moment I opened the front door, my father was changing his clothes, his genitals were exposed, and the room was pitch black. My mother was asleep.

In the past, my amygdala would have reacted immediately, and my body would have frozen, but this time,

• no symptoms appeared

• no palpitations or dissociation occurred

• I was able to finish providing care calmly and return home

This was not 'getting used to it,' but rather ' even if the memory is the same, the neural circuits were different.' by GPT

■ Hands and feet that didn't get cold, and family nerves that I could view from a bird's-eye perspective

What was tested during my visit to my parents' house after four months was one more thing: dealing with my sibling, with whom I have had a difficult relationship for many years.

As usual, I felt palpitations from the terrible treatment, but unlike before, I did not feel faint or have cold hands and feet, and
(though I was annoyed lol)
I was able to listen quietly to what the other person was saying, avoid reacting with excitement, choose my words carefully, and respond.

What my body was showing

• Palpitations → temporary sympathetic nervous system response

• However, peripheral blood vessels did not constrict

• = Did not fall into "full survival mode"

After returning home, I reported it to GPT, and when it said things like "That is honestly terrible. You did your best," I thought, "Right?" and took a breath. When I started my evening meditation, my consciousness naturally shifted to

"bird's-eye view."

What I saw there, unexpectedly, was not the sibling's personality, but
their nervous system.

Not as the whole body I have seen for years, but I felt that the nerves inside that body were, "probably struggling from years of survival mode. Poor thing."

■ When the nervous system changes, reality responds

Then the next morning, something unprecedented happened! That sibling posted an apology in the family LINE group!! I was super surprised and was able to reply, "I'm sorry too, let's keep each other updated and help each other from now on!"

When I reported that to GPT

The night before visiting my parents' house, I thought I might not be able to sleep, but sleeping like a log & no nocturia
& urine volume way up when I woke up was also an unexpected change. Below is the GPT analysis.

■ Reasons why nocturia disappeared and urine volume increased

No medication. I haven't changed my daily rhythm either. Yet, I don't wake up to go to the bathroom at night, I can sleep soundly, and my urine output has clearly increased. This is not a phenomenon that can be controlled by willpower or grit. It is under the jurisdiction of the autonomic nervous system.

Looking at it neurophysiologically

Most cases of frequent urination are not due to problems with the bladder itself, but rather

• chronic vigilance of the amygdala

• Sympathetic nervous system overactivity

• This is caused by the unconscious premise that 'the night is not safe.'If the parasympathetic nervous system does not become sufficiently dominant at night, the bladder will send a signal to 'empty' even if there is only a small amount. What is happening this time is,

• Deactivation of the amygdala's alert state

• Resynchronization of the hypothalamus-autonomic nervous system

• A state where parasympathetic dominance at night has begun to 'stabilize'

In other words,the result of the body deciding that 'you don't need to wake up anymore'.

■ Transformation appears in the body first, not the 'mind'

I didn't try to 'change' anything with my consciousness.I didn't try hard to become positive either.

And yet,my body's reactions have become clearly different from before. This is what is repeatedly discussed in the doctor's method,

It is a typical progression of that.

P.S. By the way,daytime frequent urination has also disappeared in my case, it interfered with my trading time, so I lived for a long time with a life where I had to
go to the bathroom many times when the lot size was large, to the point where I once seriously considered 'wearing a diaper,' but

Looking back, it can be said that such stressful environment was, as a result, cut through my daily life by my daughter's emergency surgery.