[Based on a True Story] Letting go of the anxiety of 'What can I get from life?' Words that save the hearts of people in their 30s shaken by the fear of being single for life

The moment you shift your perspective to psychologist Viktor Frankl's famous quote, 'What can I give to life?', true happiness comes to you on its own.

Kaoruko Kobayashi (30) is a hired therapist working at a clinic in a Tokyo business district.

What Kaoruko truly wanted to do was to be there for people suffering from mental illness as they
regained the strength to stand on their own.

She wanted to witness the moment they stood up again,
and gain a sense of
certain fulfillment as a therapist.

She stood by the people in front of her with empathy so that
they would feel reassured that they were 'not alone',
and

would find the courage
to walk on their own
two feet once again.

However,
at that time, Kaoruko was
nearly crushed by
anxieties in her private life.

Her workplace was a small clinic,
and there were no opportunities to meet anyone.

Having turned 30,

'I might end up being single for the rest of my life,'
'with no one to rely on,'
'and living all by myself'

—this fear of the future
would not leave her mind.

'If I can't get married,'
'I won't be able to survive unless I become'
'a popular therapist who can earn a living on her own'

—that kind of impatience

'I want to produce results quickly'
'I want certain rewards or returns'

had created a kind of dry obsession

Behind her pure desire
to save the person in front of her,

unbeknownst to her,
a thirst in her heart to

'resolve her own impatience'
'and anxiety'

had become mixed in.

One such day,
under the pressure of a project
at a major corporation,

a young businessman
who had been driven
to the point of taking a leave of absence
came for counseling.

He

"The company
does nothing for me"

"No one
appreciates me"

he poured out his dissatisfaction and despair
toward those around him endlessly.

His demeanor was,
ironically,

"What can I get
from my work as a therapist?"

like a mirror of the heart
of Kaoruko herself,
who had been harboring such dissatisfaction.

As Kaoruko listened
to his words,

she recalled the words
of the psychologist Viktor Frankl

that she had once learned.

"Instead of asking
something from life,

at this very moment,

you must rethink
what you can offer
to life."

Kaoruko
was struck.

Because she had only been concerned with
"what she could get"
from her clients and this job,

she realized.

I realized that
my heart had been parched.

From this point on,
Kaoruko
changed her approach to therapy
180 degrees.

'What can I get
from this job?'

She stopped thinking about,

'What can I give
to this person
who is suffering right in front of me'

through my own
existence

as a person,

and decided to focus
all of her consciousness on that.

Instead of superficial
techniques,

simply as one
human being,

she listened with all her heart and soul
to his suffering and story,

and continued to pour
warm attention upon him.

Kaoruko's change
brought about a dramatic change
in the male client.

'She unconditionally
accepts my existence and stays by my side'

Deeply moved by Kaoruko's attitude,
he,

little by little,

'What will I receive
from those around me?'

let go of his victim mentality,

'What can I contribute
to those around me
at my current workplace
because it is me?'

and began to think
proactively.

A few months later,
with his expression
fully revitalized,

“Through my work,
I can now see
what I can contribute
to my team and clients.”

he said with a smile
as he returned to work.

In the heart of Kaoruko, who saw him off,
there was an unprecedented
sense of deep fulfillment and

a solid passion
for her work.

When she was chasing
“what to get out of life,”

true happiness,
which she could never find,

comes naturally
when you ask,

“What can I do?”
and give it
generouslyto others,

she learned
from experience.

She realized
it comes to you.

fin

[Summary]
The greatest lesson from this case is the truth that
“by letting go of the thirst for returns and becoming the one who gives,
true fulfillment and independence are ultimately brought about.”

Kaoruko had been trapped by
“getting (rewards and results)” due to anxiety about the future,

and was on the verge of losing sight of the essence.

However,
by shifting her perspective 180 degrees to “what can I give as I am now,”

she succeeded in drawing out
the client's proactive independence.

She broke free from the victim mentality of fighting over things
or waiting to be given something,

Focus on the contributions
you can make.

That is the only way to move others,
erase your own anxieties,
and achieve true happiness and pride in your work.