Interview | "I felt lonely, but I never thought it was impossible": Moving abroad and career

Yume Berquette was born and raised in Okinawa and has now moved to San Diego, a city in the U.S. state of California. She lives a rich and fulfilling life in a foreign land with her American husband, whom she has been married to for eight years, and their energetic four-year-old son.

While she leads a busy daily life balancing work, childcare, and local community activities, she says, "I've never thought it was impossible." Behind that sentiment were the anxieties and loneliness unique to moving abroad, as well as a major trial she experienced on her journey to becoming a mother.

From long-distance relationship to marriage and moving to America

After graduating from university in Okinawa, Yume had the opportunity to acquire an imported dress shop, which she managed for three years. Just as she was gaining business know-how and building confidence, she decided to move to San Diego to marry her American boyfriend.

"I had been dating my husband since I was a student. I had acquired and managed the dress shop, but since it was always under the assumption that I would eventually get married and move to America, I didn't have much anxiety about leaving the shop behind."

Even so, leaving behind the colleagues and friends she had built relationships with in Okinawa was a bigger change than she had anticipated.

"The lack of management experience became apparent... I moved to the U.S. without proper training or guidance, so I left the dress shop's operations to the manager and part-time staff... I caused them a lot of trouble. And, as anyone who has ever left their familiar home knows, there was a sense of loneliness until I could build a new community."

Immediately after moving, she didn't have any friends she could chat with easily. Since she had companions during her college years and the time she was running the business, the loss of that presence led to a great sense of emptiness.

"I feel like it took two or three years before I found a place where I felt comfortable."

Even in the midst of that, Yume didn't worry about whether she could make it in America; she continued to face her daily life head-on.

"I've never felt like I could make it, but on the other hand, I've never thought, 'I can't do this anymore!' I just go with the flow and live my life ",{doing what I can every day."

Pregnancy and childbirth in America, and the trials of becoming a mother

She found out she was pregnant around the time she was changing jobs.

"After moving, we wanted to buy a house first, so we were talking about how it would be nice to have a baby in about two years when I found out I was pregnant. It was during a job change, so I was busy working multiple jobs and didn't realize it until I was over 10 weeks along (laughs)."

However, around 22 weeks, she was diagnosed with a high-risk pregnancy. Three abnormalities were found during an ultrasound, and the doctor confronted her with one harsh reality after another: the possibility of trisomy, the risk of miscarriage, and the possibility that even if the baby was born, they might only live for a few years.

"They told me something scary, saying that while one issue might be fine, having three of them overlap was... The checkups were more frequent than for a normal pregnant woman, and I had to undergo genetic testing, so it wasn't exactly a bright pregnancy journey..."

What supported her through those anxious days was an unfounded intuition and phone calls with her mother, who was far away in Okinawa.

"Even though I was very anxious, I kept telling myself that it would be okay. I also called my mother almost every day."

My water broke at 33 weeks and 5 days, and I gave birth at 34 weeks. Because I had been told in the late stages of pregnancy that my baby might not be able to cry, I strained to listen while on the delivery table, and the moment I heard his first cry, all the tension left my body.

"I was truly relieved when I heard him cry. The fact that my son is growing up healthy with no illnesses is what matters most."

Now, her son is full of energy every day.

"He is always a happy boy and seems to enjoy making people around him smile. That alone makes me happy!"

Balancing work and family: The rewards of a job that "connects people"

Raising children abroad means not having the support of family nearby.

"Since neither my family nor my husband's family is nearby, we have no choice but to manage on our own. Even to go on a date, we have to hire a babysitter, so the sitter's fee is definitely higher than the cost of the date (laughs). But since time as a couple is important, we are conscious of making time for just the two of us, even if it's difficult to do so frequently."

Yume is currently in her fifth year working at an IT company. It is a company that operates a Japanese information website and provides website production and online marketing services.

"I work in sales, but it's more about 'connecting' than 'selling.' I'm happy when I can connect people and be of service with our company's offerings, and there are many ways I can help by leveraging my network."

It seems her experience in Okinawa is also being put to good use in her current job.

"The experience I gained from building my own website and attracting customers through social media when I worked at a dress shop is being put to direct use. Although it was for a short period, standing in the position of an owner has allowed me to empathize with the feelings of my current clients."

Expanding connections through local community activities

San Diego Japanese Business Association, she serves as vice president. She is involved in event management and system reform, and has contributed significantly, such as by quadrupling the number of members in just half a year.

"By making things better, it leads to connections and business for our clients, so I'm happy to feel that I'm being useful.

However, the more people I meet, the more I realize how much I still don't know and how amazing everyone is, so my desire to further improve my skills keeps growing.

That said, since activities for the business association are volunteer-based, I try to keep a balance so that family time is not sacrificed."

"It's okay to have anxieties": A message from Yume

San Diego is very laid back, with no pressure to be a certain way. In America, the mindset of live and let live is natural, and that suits me well.

It feels like a lie now, but my son being healthy—especially after my pregnancy was labeled high-risk—is what gives me energy. And because my husband supports me, prioritizing our family even while holding a high-responsibility job, I feel motivated to work even harder at my career and parenting abroad.

I truly feel that I am living my own life since moving abroad."

▼ Yume Beriquette's Instagram

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Marriage, parenting, career... An interview series following women who work in their own way while facing changes in their environment. ▼ Click here for the previous interview article