Episode 4: The Starting Signal -Age 2- | ASD | Developmental Disabilities | Parenting
His 2nd birthday.
When I poured juice into my son's cup, he said, "Mama, thank you," for the first time, and I cried.
I couldn't help but reply, "It's actually me who should be thanking you for meeting me..."
At this time, I was still struggling with postpartum mental health,
and my emotions were all over the place—I'd cry over the smallest things my son did, or give him a standing ovation.
However—.
Starting with this birthday, my son turned into a chatterbox machine,
and I climbed yet another step in the ladder of parenting.
Sometimes,
"Son, Mama wants to go out (to the bank)."
"Okay? Bye-bye (I'm not going)."
Other times,
"Mama, play with me."
"I'm cleaning right now, so wait a minute."
—*Whoosh*...
"Huh? Did the vacuum cleaner lose power?"
"Mama? Not doing cleaning? (Vacuum cord unplugged)"
When leaving for nursery school,
"Alright, let's go."
".........Can't do nursery school (rolling around)."
What the...
His chatter is super cute, but I'm constantly being thrown off pace like this...
Furthermore, he wasn't satisfied with just being a chatterbox,
he also came with the 2-year-old specialty: the 'terrible twos' phase.
Exhausted once again, I
"Wow, so 2-year-olds really do lie on the ground and throw tantrums."
I even found myself observing him like that.
I was just too exhausted.
While being tossed about by a 2-year-old who wouldn't stop talking,
another thing that started in full force around this time was his 'hyperactivity'.
For example, in the hospital waiting room.
He couldn't sit still while waiting,
running back and forth in the hallway
climbing on the bench
peeking into other rooms
and then escaping
Finally, I bowed to the receptionist, saying, 'I'm so sorry... I'll be right back,' and then dashed off at full speed.
In a large shopping mall, he would vanish in an instant.
If I took my eyes off him for even 0.3 seconds, he would just disappear.
I never thought I'd have a 'child who gets lost' in my own home, even though I used to think, 'That's impossible.'
One day, the nursery school pointed out his 'testing behavior'.
Not coming when called
Walking in the opposite direction on purpose
Hiding where he can't be seen
They added, 'This is sometimes seen in children who are being abused,' which came as a shock.
Is he lacking affection?
I was working, but I made sure to spend at least one hour a day playing with him.
But no matter how much time passed, nothing changed.
I don't know what he was trying to confirm for himself,
but it felt so deliberate that it made me feel even more uneasy.
People often told me, 'Boys are just like that,' but
I kept thinking to myself a hundred times, 'No, no, no, no, isn't this something more than just
just like that?'
He's cute. But it's exhausting.
He talks. But it doesn't get through.
'He can hear me, but it's not reaching him'
It was around this time that I started having that strange feeling.
Looking back,
those few months when he was two, which started with that 'Mommy, fank you,'
felt just like a rehearsal before the main event.
The 'true chaos' that would visit us later was still waiting ahead.
Episode 5: Parenting at the Limit -Age 3- ASD | Developmental Disabilities | Parenting