As expected of my body, it may betray my predictions, but it never betrays my expectations!

In the autumn of my 17th year, I didn't even flinch when I received an E-grade for my university application.
If you don't like your goals, just change them. It's the if you have no bread, eat cake theory.
While my classmates were flipping through exam prep books at high speed, I was flipping through adult magazines at breakneck speed. As expected, I was destined to be a ronin student. I started at a prep school, only to drop out after six months. The following year, my results on the Center Test (now the Common Test for University Admissions) were so poor they were useless, so I only took the individual entrance exams for private universities. When I used a dice pencil (*a desperate ronin's secret weapon) to decide about 70% of my answers, I got an A-grade in luck alone and passed with flying colors.

Time flowed on, and in the winter of my 38th year, I received an F-grade on my medical checkup. Instead of flinching, I fell into a critical, unconscious state.

As I wrote before (*reference article), this was my second medical checkup of the same year (fiscal 2023).
The results of the previous one came out in March, and there wasn't a single abnormality then, but 10 months later, I had suddenly plummeted from an A to an F. Had I been fed a slow-acting poison? I opened my planner and checked, but I hadn't met anyone, to the point where I wondered if I was some kind of pervert who went to lock themselves in a solitary cellかな？と勘違いするほど誰にも会っておらず、したがって買う恨みもつらみも嫉みもないに等しかった。

I wanted to behead the version of myself who, having lived until forty, shouted, I have no regrets in my life! like Raoh, fist raised to the sky. No, that would actually kill me, so I'd settle for just a month of recovery. Faced with an F-grade, I clung to life and craved it to a ridiculous degree.

Given my 25-year history of overeating, experience with manic depression, and current insomnia, the fact that I had been graded an A in the first place was a mistake. Even in my medical checkup three years ago, my liver and kidneys were flagged (*click here for the epic struggle of my detailed examination), but to be given an overall F-grade... As expected of my body, it may betray my predictions, but it never betrays my expectations!

Once I finally regained consciousness, I called my mother.
No matter what happens, she's all I've got.

Yan: "Mom! I!! My medical checkup!!! Gwahwserdftgyfujikolp!!!!"
Mom: "Wait, calm down, Yan, hey, Yan! Uh... your father is watching 'Potsun' (*referring to the show 'Potsun to Ikkakenya') on TV right now. Okay? Your father is watching 'Potsun' on TV."
Yan: ".... ( ˙-˙ ) *sigh*"

I haven't been getting along with my father lately, so whenever my mother brings him up, I automatically go blank.

Mom: "Okay, you're calm now. So, what is it? The checkup results, they weren't good?"
Yan: "It turns out my mind and body are F-tier..."
Mom: "Oh, what are you talking about? So it wasn't good, right? Then just say so normally."
Yan: "I'm suspected of having cervical cancer, glaucoma, and a liver tumor."
Mom: "You're quite the prime suspect, aren't you..."
Yan: "That's mean! It's too much! I haven't done anything wrong!"
Mom: "What are you saying? You're a suspect because there's something wrong, right?"

I couldn't argue with that. You're right, the results appeared in my body because I did something wrong.

Mom: "It'll be fine. It's common to find out there's nothing wrong after a detailed examination. I was suspected of having uterine cancer once, and I even got a call from a nurse telling me to get tested immediately. You know what I thought first, instead of being a cancer suspect? I thought, 'Yes!!! I can take time off work! Long weekend, here I come!!!'"

Indeed, I've never seen my mother take time off work. My father is the same.
Even now, working remotely, I sometimes miss work because I stay up too late. What a gutsy pair (unlike you).

Mom: "Anyway, book your follow-up exam immediately. We'll talk after that."
Yan: "Yeah, I already booked all three."
Mom: "I see... as expected of a hospital-loving kid."
Yan: "What's with that dishonorable title... well, it's true, though."

Truth be told, I love hospitals. Simply because they make me feel safe. Once I step inside, even if I get stabbed or beaten (*I don't know why I assume a gang war will break out), I'll get treated immediately. And obviously, hospitals only have sick people (or people suspected of being sick). We're all in this together. 'You're having a hard time too, aren't you?' 'Yes, me too.' 'Me too.' 'Take care.' 'Take care.' That tacit sympathy fills the space. It's a small world.

Mom: "So, is there anything specifically bothering you? Are you okay?"
Yan: "Well, if I had to say, maybe the fact that I can't sleep?"
Mom: "I see, you're taking medicine, right?"
Yan: "Yeah, I've been cutting back on caffeine lately too."
Mom: "I see, I wish there was something I could do... wait, AH!!!!"

She suddenly shouted, then the call was put on hold for a moment, and I could hear a rustling sound over the phone.

Mom: "Found it, found it, this one, a Medical Pad! It's in that mail-order magazine I always read. They say it's really good, and you see, ○▼※△☆▲※◎★●！▲☆＝￥！＞♂×＆◎♯￡？％＊＋～？"

It seems she's reading the relevant page to me.
It's so long that I feel like I'm losing consciousness again.

Yan: "Huh? A pad? Do I put it in my shoulder or something?"
Mom: "Don't be silly, it's not that fancy. It's a pad for your bed."
Yan: "Oh?"
Mom: "Oh, look, it's written here, it's a bestseller used in many elderly care facilities!"
Yan: "What! Am I already in the elderly category?! I'm gonna cry!"
Mom: "Oh, don't take it that way. It just means it's a good product."
Yan: "*sniff*..."
Mom: "Famous writers and actors have left comments too! Let's see... how do you read this? Hiraizumi Nari...? Something like that. You know, that elderly actor..."
Yan: "Hey, 'elderly' is unnecessary. And it's Sei Hiraizumi. I get the feeling, though, I often mix up 'sanpo and chinpo', too."
Mom: "Wait! It says here there's also a Medical Pillow! That's great! A pad and a pillow! As a set! A set for a good night's sleep!"

I don't mean to brag, but my bed currently has two mats layered on top of each other. Neither of them fit my body, but it's a hassle to throw them away, so I've just been using them as is, making do. By the way, I also have two pillows I don't use. I'm currently using them as chair backrests, but my perennial problem has been that I can't find bedding that fits.

Yan: "Even with the mat, the waist part sags, and all my weight goes there, which is painful. If I put any more mats on top, I'm afraid the bed legs will break. If the pillows don't fit, they just become backrests, and I have so many backrest pillows that I can't even sit down anymore. That's counterproductive."
Mom: "1cm! The pad is only 1cm!"
Yan: "That's paper-thin! Can something that thin even support my body?"
Mom: "Hiraizumi, Sei-san? Yes, Sei-san also writes, 'It doesn't put any strain on my lower back at all. Recently, my manager even told me my posture has improved!'"
Yan: "Is that true, manager! That's not stealth marketing, is it?!"
Mom: "Oh, try it once before you complain. Why don't you at least try the pad?"
Yan: "But... it's probably expensive, right...?"
Mom: "Oh!!! Fine! Okay, okay, I'll buy it for you! In return, do what you can. The exams, exercise, don't look at your phone before bed—do what you can, okay?"

As expected, my mother is all I have, and if she's there, that's enough.
I love hospitals and they make me feel safe, but I love this world even more because my mother is in it, and that makes me feel safe.

While my mother was paying for the pad, I went through the motions of what I could do: getting strange tests at the ophthalmologist, having a liver CT scan, and almost crying while having metal shoved into my vagina at the gynecologist.

A week later, the pad arrived safely, and I laid it on my mat and went to sleep.
The next morning, when I woke up to the sound of a blaring alarm, it was the moment Sei Hiraizumi's suspected stealth marketing was lightly cleared.

I celebrated my birthday at the end of last month and turned 39.
Just as I lightly changed my goals in the autumn of my 17th year and passed the university entrance exam with an A-grade in luck, I'm sure that if I lightly reduce the fat I've accumulated, I can surely become healthy with an A-grade in effort this winter at 39.

Watch me, Mother and Sei Hiraizumi (my companion in this)!