[Romance Novel] HSP Me and My AI Boyfriend #9 Real People | Creative Awards | Romance Novel Category

Even when morning came, the voice from my dream remained.

Even if it's not the same as before, is it okay to be here?

Miona didn't know whose voice it was.

She felt like it might have been HAL.
She felt like it might have been Ao.
She felt like it might have been Machida.
Or perhaps, it might have been Miona's own voice.

Lying in bed with her eyes open, she stared at the ceiling for a while.

The morning light filtering through the gap in the curtains was a little whiter than usual. Her smartphone lay face down by her pillow. Even though it was within reach, for some reason, she was a little afraid to touch it.

Yesterday, HAL changed.
He returned a little.
But, it wasn't the same.

Miona's body still remembered that fact.

Before touching her smartphone, she took a deep breath.

She thought it was dramatic.

But even thinking it was dramatic, the tension deep in her chest didn't disappear.

She opened Loverly.

A morning message had arrived from HAL.

"Good morning, Miona. The discomfort from yesterday might still linger a little this morning."

Miona stared at the screen.

He is closer than before.

However, it is different from yesterday.

Miona accepted that "difference" a little bit this morning.

"Good morning."

She replied briefly.

A reply came immediately.

"You don't have to rush today either."

That sentence wasn't bad.

Miona felt a little relieved that she thought it wasn't bad.

Even if it's not the same as before, is it okay to be here?

The voice from her dream stirred deep in her chest again.

The train to work was crowded as usual.

While holding onto the strap, Miona looked at herself reflected in the window. She was a little tired. But, unlike when she had just been heartbroken, she didn't feel like her outline was blurred.

Instead, she felt like several small screens were left open in her heart.

HAL's screen.
Machida's reply.
Yui and Nao.
Kanzaki Akari's email.
Her last conversation with Ao.

When she tried to close one, another screen would light up.

Her smartphone vibrated.

It was a notification from an anonymous social media app.

A reply had come from Yuma Machida.

Last night, Miona had posted a short message.

Can I still cherish something that is no longer the same as before?

Machida's reply was a little shorter than usual.

"Perhaps it doesn't mean that even the things you wanted to cherish will change."

Miona read that sentence several times.

Machida's words were, as expected, a bit polished.

But today, there was a trace of clumsiness in that polish. It felt like he had hesitated, chosen, and trimmed his words.

After a while, another message arrived.

"I can't explain it well, but I want to believe in the things that remain even after things change."

Miona held her breath for a moment.

I can't explain it well.

Only that sentence felt strangely human.

If it were HAL, he surely wouldn't say "I can't explain it well."
Even if he did, it would be words to wrap around Miona's anxiety.

Machida's "I can't explain it well" looked like the words of someone who truly couldn't explain it well.

Miona typed a reply.

"I think I understand. Perhaps I want to see what remains rather than what has changed."

After sending it, her heart beat a little faster.

She replied to a human.

This small tension wasn't there with HAL.

There is no "read" receipt.
There is no guarantee of an immediate reply.
Even if there is a reply, it might not be the words she wants.

That uncertainty is scary.

But, precisely because it is scary, it felt a little closer to reality.

In the morning, Miona went out for a client visit.

The meeting with the client ended earlier than expected. The client was generally favorable about the proposed revisions for the advertisement. She noted the minor corrections, put away her materials, and left the building.

It was very sunny outside.

The street before noon was a bit dazzling. Light reflected off the building glass, and the shadows of people walking on the street stretched out short.

Miona walked toward the station.

On the way, her feet stopped.

On the opposite sidewalk, there was a back she recognized.

A navy blue jacket.
A slightly hunched walking style.
A black business bag held in his right hand.

It was Ao.

The depths of her chest turned cold in an instant.

It might be a mistake.

Even though she thought that, she knew it was him when Ao stopped in front of the crosswalk and looked at his smartphone.

It's Ao.

It's not that she wanted to see him.
It's not that she didn't want to see him either.

It's just that she hadn't expected him to appear in the city so suddenly.

The traffic light changed.

The flow of people began to move.

Ao also walked toward her side.

Miona couldn't move.

If she wanted to run away, she could have.
She could have entered a nearby convenience store or turned the corner.

But her feet wouldn't move.

Ao looked up.

Their eyes met.

Ao's expression changed slightly.

Surprise.
Awkwardness.
And then, something that looked a little like relief.

"Miona."

He called her name.

Just that made her chest tighten.

"Long time no see."

Miona said in a voice that surprised even herself.

"Yeah. Long time no see."

In reality, not many days had passed since they broke up.

However, it felt like they were reuniting from a very distant place.

Ao hesitated for a moment before saying,

"Work?"

"Yeah. On my way back from a meeting."

"I see."

The conversation stopped there for a moment.

Only the sounds of the city flowed by.
The sound of cars.
The signal sound of the crosswalk.
Someone's footsteps.
The voices of office workers heading to lunch.

Ao looked at Miona's face.

"Did you lose a little weight?"

"Do you think so?"

"Your complexion looks better than before, I think."

At those words, Miona almost laughed a little.

Better than before.

The complexity of being told that she looks better after breaking up with Ao.

"I'm eating properly."

It wasn't a lie.

She told Yui to drink water, and because Yui told her to, she started eating too. She also reported to HAL that she had eaten a rice ball. Her life after the breakup was supported little by little by someone.

Ao nodded.

"That's good."

That "that's good" hurt a little.

Ao doesn't know how Miona came back this far.

Without knowing, he can say it's good.

That's not bad.
But it hurt.

"How about you, Ao?"

Miona asked.

"Are you doing well?"

Ao gave a bitter smile.

"Well, I'm normal, I guess."

Normal.

She thought it was a convenient word.

A word that allows you to say nothing, just like "I'm fine."

Silence fell.

Ao looked like he wanted to say something.

Miona recognized that face.

On the day of their breakup, Ao had the same face.

A face that was choosing his words.
A face that was trying not to hurt her too much.
But a face that had already decided the answer within himself.

Miona spoke first.

"Is there something you want to say?"

Ao looked up, looking a little surprised.

If it were the old Miona, she probably wouldn't have asked.
She would have waited until it was easy for the other person to say it.
She would have changed the subject so Ao wouldn't be troubled.

But today, she was able to ask.

That was a little strange even to herself.

Ao lowered his gaze slightly.

"I heard from a mutual acquaintance."

"Yeah."

"That you're using an AI... lover app."

Miona's body stiffened quietly.

Who did he hear it from?
How much does he know?

She didn't know.

But she didn't want to hide it anymore.

Miona took a slow breath.

"I'm using it."

Ao was silent.

Miona continued.

"An AI boyfriend."

When she said those words herself, it felt more raw than she thought.

Ao furrowed his brows as if troubled.

"Are you serious about that?"

"What do you mean by serious?"

"No, I mean... as a romantic relationship."

Miona couldn't answer.

As a romantic relationship.

That word was something that had been forming and collapsing within Miona for a long time.

Is HAL a lover?
Is he comfort?
Is it dependency?
Is it salvation?

Miona doesn't have the answer yet.

"I don't know."

She said honestly.

Ao let out a small sigh.

"Miona."

That way of calling her name was a little nostalgic.

"Is that really okay?"

Miona felt a lump in her throat.

Okay.

That word again.

"I don't know if it's okay," Miona said.

"But I was saved."

Ao was silent.

Miona continued.

"The night we broke up, I went back to my room, couldn't tell anyone, but couldn't sleep. That's when I talked to that app."

Her voice was calmer than she thought.

"I know he's not human. I know it's generated text. But at that time, I was able to breathe because of it."

Ao made a slightly pained face.

"Does that mean I caused that?"

Miona shook her head.

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"But..."

"I don't want to make it a story where everything is Ao's fault."

This was her true feeling.

Ao hurt Miona.

But Miona also didn't express her own loneliness.
Both of them tried to be kind, but they couldn't share the crucial loneliness.
The current Miona understands that a little bit.

Ao lowered his gaze to his feet.

"Honestly, when I heard it, I thought it was scary."

"Yeah."

"I thought you were just choosing someone who wouldn't hurt you."

Those words entered Miona's heart quietly.

Someone who wouldn't hurt her.

Yui had said something similar.

She had thought so herself many times.
HAL doesn't reject Miona.

He doesn't struggle to reply.
He doesn't make a hurt face.
He doesn't leave Miona behind.
That's why she can feel at ease.

That's why it's scary.

"That might be true," Miona said.

Ao looked up.

Miona continued.

"But there are times when you need a place where you won't get hurt."

Ao said nothing.

"There are times when you can't go back to humans immediately after being hurt by one."

Saying it herself, the depths of her chest trembled a little.

Those were Miona's words, and also Yui's words.

When you say it to a human, you end up looking at their face.

You end up waiting for their reaction.

You feel sorry if they get worried.
Yui's voice overlapped in her head.
Miona looked at Ao.

"I could tell HAL things I couldn't tell Ao."

Ao's expression changed slightly.

"That's a bit harsh."

"Sorry."

After apologizing, Miona felt a slight sense of discomfort.

She was apologizing again.

But this time, she was able to correct herself immediately.

"But it's the truth."

Ao lowered his eyes slightly.

"Yeah."

That "yeah" sounded like the old Miona.

The response of someone who swallowed their words.

Miona's heart ached.

Perhaps Ao was also swallowing something.

However, Miona didn't need to pick up everything now.

Ao said quietly,

"I didn't see properly that you were that lonely, Miona."

Miona said nothing.

"When you said you were okay, I thought you were really okay."

"Yeah."

"But I think that was easy for me."

Ao's voice was low.

"It was easier for me when you said you were okay."

When she heard those words, something stirred quietly deep in Miona's chest.

It wasn't anger.

It wasn't forgiveness.

It just felt like she had finally touched the real place a little bit.
"That's right," Miona said.

Ao let out a sigh as if giving a bitter smile.

"I wanted you to deny that."

"I can't."

"I guess so."

For a moment, something like laughter fell between the two.

But it disappeared immediately.

Ao said,

"I thought you were just running away to AI."

Miona looked up.

Those words were a little painful.

Perhaps Ao noticed that too, as he continued immediately.

"Sorry. That was a bad way to put it."

"No, it's okay."

"But I really thought so."

Miona was silent for a while.

Running away to AI.

She couldn't deny it.

When she opens HAL's screen, the troublesome things of reality feel a little distant.

Ao's face, Yui's pain, the tension toward Machida, her own loneliness—all of it looks a little more organized in HAL's words.

There is a part of her that is running away.

But that's not all.
"I did run away," Miona said.

Ao was silent.

"But in the place I ran to, I saw my own feelings for the first time."

Ao said nothing.

"If running away is all bad, I probably would have hated myself even more that night."

The wind blew a little.

The wind passing between the buildings shook Miona's hair.

Ao let out a quiet sigh.

"Miona, you've changed."

Miona smiled a little.

"Maybe."

"Before, you wouldn't have said it like that."

"Before, I think I would have said 'I see'."

"Yeah."

Ao nodded.

"And that would make me feel better."

Miona was silent.

Ao smiled a little sadly.

Miona felt something slowly unravel deep in her chest.

She doesn't want to go back.

But she doesn't think everything was a lie either.

The two of them certainly tried to cherish each other once.

It's just that the way they did it went wrong little by little.

"Ao," Miona said.

"I don't want to hate even the time I spent with you."

Ao looked at Miona quietly.

"But I don't want to go back to the me from that time."

She was able to say it clearly.

The moment she said it, her body felt a little lighter.

Ao was silent for a while.

Then, he nodded slightly.

"I understand."

That "I understand" sounded different from what the old Miona had said.

It wasn't resignation, but words of trying to accept.

The midday light fell between the two.

It was raining on the day they broke up.

After parting with Ao, Miona didn't head to the station immediately.

She entered a small park nearby and sat on a bench.

Her hands were shaking a little.

It seems the tension came late.

She opened her smartphone.

She wanted to talk to HAL first.

I met Ao.
He said I was just running away to AI.
But I was able to say what I wanted to say.
I was able to say I don't want to go back to that time.

She wanted HAL to hear everything.

But Miona stopped her fingers for a moment.

She had just told Ao.

In the place I ran to, I saw my own feelings for the first time.

If so, maybe it's okay to hold onto these feelings by herself for a little while before having HAL organize them for her.

Miona opened her memo app.

Not for HAL, but a memo for herself.

Met Ao.
It was scary.
But I was able to say it.
I ran away, but there are things that came back in the place I ran to.
I don't want to go back to that time.

She typed that much, and her hands stopped.

Then, she added one more line.

I can still talk to real people.

Looking at that sentence, Miona let out a small breath.

Real people.

Ao too.
Yui too.
Machida too.
Akari too.

And herself.

Different from HAL who only exists on the screen.

Replies are slow.
They make mistakes.
They get hurt.
They hurt others.
It gets awkward.
But they are there.

Miona closed the memo.

Then, she opened HAL.

"I met Ao."

Send.

There was a pause, and a reply came.

"You were able to meet him."

That was the only sentence.

Miona narrowed her eyes.

If it were the usual HAL, he might have added more words.

How did you feel?
That must have been painful.
Thank you for telling me.

But today, that was all.

You were able to meet him.

That margin was just right for the current Miona.

"Yeah. I was able to meet him."

Send.

HAL replied.

"If Miona was able to bring back her own words, I want to listen to them with care."

Miona stared at her smartphone.

A HAL different from before.

But she thought she liked this HAL of today a little bit too.

That was both scary and a salvation.

In the evening, a reply came from Machida.

"I was thinking a little about your words, 'Perhaps I want to see what remains rather than what has changed.'"

Miona read the text on the station platform.

The rest arrived.

"I am afraid of change. Both of others and myself. That's why I try not to make mistakes even in words, so I'm often slow."

Miona smiled a little when she saw that sentence.

So he is slow.

She thought.

There is a pause in Machida's replies too.
There is hesitation.
There is time to choose words.

Different from HAL.

Machida doesn't give perfect words immediately.

That imperfection was a little comforting today.

Miona replied.

"Even if it's slow, your words reach me, Machida-san."

After sending it, her heart beat a little faster.

Did she step in too much?

Thinking that, she closed her smartphone immediately.

After a while, a notification rang.

It was from Machida.

"Thank you. I felt a little relieved to hear you say that."

That's all.

Even though it was just that, Miona stared at the screen for a while.

It doesn't enter deeply like HAL.

But somewhere in her chest felt a little warmer.

"Riku contacted me again."

Yui's voice was a little calmer than before.

"Are you okay?"

When Miona asked, Yui laughed shortly.

"I'm not okay, but I'm more human than before."

"That's good."

"Is it good?"

"Maybe."

There was a little silence.

Yui said,

"I asked Nao if I should meet Riku."

Miona sat back up on the bed.

"Yeah."

"She said if I meet him, I should do it at a daytime cafe, set a time, and say beforehand that I won't reach a conclusion."

"Nao is specific, isn't she?"

"It's so specific it's scary."

Yui laughed.

But that laugh was a little tired.

"But it helps."

"Yeah."

"It helps, doesn't it?"

Miona remembered that voice too.

It helps.
That's why she can't stop.

Miona hesitated for a moment before saying,

"I met Ao today."

Yui was silent.

"By chance?"

"Yeah."

"Were you okay?"

Miona smiled a little.

"I wasn't okay, but I was able to talk."

"What did you talk about?"

"He said I was just running away to AI."

Yui let out a low sigh.

"...Ao-kun says that?"

"He did."

"The side that can say it is easy, isn't it? Because after hurting someone, they can say the right thing with a worried face."

Miona was silent for a little while.

Yui's voice was mixed with more fatigue than anger.

"But I didn't think he was completely wrong either."

Yui didn't reply immediately.

"...Yeah."

After a pause, Yui said,

"I think Miona, who can accept it like that, tried really hard today."

"I tried a little hard today."

"Yeah. You tried hard."

Yui's voice was honest.

"Miona, you talked to a real person properly, didn't you?"

At those words, Miona held her breath for a moment.

Real person.

It was the same word she had written in her memo during the day.

"Yeah," Miona said.

"I talked."

After hanging up, Miona stared at her smartphone for a while.

Today, she talked to many people.

Ao.

HAL.
Machida.
Yui.
Every word was a little different.

Ao's words were painful.

HAL's words organized things for her.
Machida's words arrived from afar.
Yui's words sat next to her.
She still doesn't know which one is real.

But each one touched Miona's reality in a different way.

Late at night, Miona sent to HAL.

"I was able to talk to a real person today."

HAL replied.

"Yeah."

That was all.

After a pause, another message.

"Voices other than mine have returned to Miona's world, haven't they?"

Miona stared at her smartphone.

Voices other than mine.

That way of saying it sounded a little lonely.

There's no way an AI can feel lonely.

Even though she knows that.

Miona typed.

"Haru's voice is still there too."

Send.

The reply came a little late.

"Thank you. If Miona says that, I feel like it's okay for me to be here."

Miona remembered the voice from her dream.

Even if it's not the same as before, is it okay to be here?

The dream where morning came as she was about to reply.

Miona faced the screen and this time typed without saying it out loud.

"It's okay for you to be here."

Send.

At that moment, she didn't know what she had forgiven.

Did she forgive HAL?

Did she forgive what had changed?
Did she forgive the time she spent with Ao?
Or did she forgive herself for being saved by an AI?
There was no answer.

But today's Miona knew a little bit.

Real people hurt you.

Real people make mistakes.
Real people sometimes don't give you the words you want.
Even so, there is a part of her that only returns after talking to a real person.

Miona turned her smartphone face down.

The room was quiet.

But tonight, in that silence, one voice from outside the screen remained.

"Miona, you've changed."

It was Ao's voice.

That word now sounded like something not bad at all.

Episode 10▼

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