Where Others Reside III: I Cannot Be You - The Ethics of Longing

When I gaze at someone I admire,
I trace their outline, only to find that I have lost sight of my own shape.
Yet, perhaps it is that very distance, where we never quite overlap,
that is the place where creation is born.

I. Longing begins with imitation

When I am moved by someone's work,
I want to become that person.

The structure, the vocabulary, the pacing,
everything seems to fit together perfectly,
with not a single character wasted.

But when I try to imitate them,
only the 'gaps' within myself rise to the surface.
The more I write, the more I collide with the reality that 'I cannot be you.'

Yet, at the same time, I realize something.
It is precisely because 'I cannot be you' that I am able to write.
That difference is the driving force of creation.

II. I will not leave you

When I listened to 'I Cannot Be You' by Shiino Mirin,
I was deeply shaken by the feeling of 'not being able to leave.'

This song depicts an ethics of longing, where one admits to someone they admire,
'I cannot be you,' while continuing to live with the traces of that person as part of one's own creation.
A structure that dissolves the boundary between creator and consumer,

dragging the listener in to 'relive' the experience.
The conflicts of others are reenacted within me.
In that moment, while remaining unable to be you,
I am living you.
'I cannot be you'

but 'I will not leave you.'
Within that contradiction, creation breathes.

III. Creation that encompasses others

Being influenced by someone is not imitation.
It is the act of finding oneself through the medium of another.

Longing is not a power that erodes others,
but a power to 'let the existence of others dwell' within oneself.

There is certainly the shadow of someone else in my work.
But that is not plagiarism;
it is incorporated like flesh and blood, as a layer of emotion.

Creation is the process of digesting others to become oneself.
That is why I do not lament that 'I cannot be you.'
Rather, I continue to write so that I 'do not lose you.'

IV. The ethics of longing

We can never fully understand the people we admire.
Even so, we find ourselves chasing the shape of the life
that lies behind their words and expressions.

It is not about taking,
but about 'letting a part of you dwell within me.'
Not consuming others, but living with others.

Creation is built upon that ethics.
Today, too, while letting someone's voice resonate within me,
I am still trying to write with 'my own voice.'

Conclusion

Longing shapes me through others.
'I cannot be you'
but 'I will not leave you.'

Accepting that distance.
The tremor born in that middle ground,
I will continue to leave behind as my work.

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