"You don't have to carry guilt while you cry" — What I want to say to myself when I'm crying

Nights when you think, "Everything is going wrong"

For example, those nights when you think everything is going wrong.
The things you have to do never decrease, yet you don't feel like you've made any progress. You reach out, you make arrangements, you are considerate, and when a mistake happens, you fix it.
Even so, the thought "Is it my fault?" never leaves you, and your mind stays busy the whole time.
The moment you get home and put down your bag. Without being able to explain why, the back of your eyes starts to burn.
I didn't intend to cry, but the tears just come out.

Thank you so much for always reading. I am truly happy for your likes, comments, and follows. I read each and every one of them with care. ...I'm leaving this here today, too.

"Don't cry" stayed with me for a long time

For a long time, I thought that crying was a bad thing.
"Don't cry!"
I think those words, which I've been told like a standard phrase since I was a child, were unconsciously imprinted on me.

Even though I'm crying, I feel guilty

That's why every time I cried, I felt a double layer of pain.
Sadness is sadness. Frustration is frustration.
Yet at the same time, a gaze from within myself, saying things like "It's not good to cry" or "It's unsightly," would come flying at me.

Even though I'm crying, I feel guilty.
That, quite quietly, wears me down.

When I rephrased it to "Were you able to cry?", I felt a little better

But recently, the words flipped.

"Were you able to cry?"

I'm treating crying not as something "bad," but as something that "happened."
In fact, "Were you able to cry?" has a ring to it that is somewhat close to "Were you able to do it?"

You can cry because your heart was "touched"

People cannot cry unless their heartstrings are touched.
The fact that you were able to cry means that something touched you.
Whether it's being moved, joy, sadness, anger, or emptiness.
No matter what the emotion is called, I think it's a reaction that shows you were "properly touched."

Sometimes tears come out before words.
By looking at the tears that came out first, I sometimes learn my true feelings afterward.
(Even though it's about myself, I find out late. This happens quite often.)

It is natural to have periods where you cannot cry

Conversely, it is also natural to have periods where you cannot cry at all.
Sometimes your emotions become dulled by busyness, or you try too hard and your "feeling switch" turns off.
Not being able to cry doesn't mean you are cold; sometimes you are just hardening your senses to protect yourself.

Confirm one thing after you cry

If you have a habit of holding back tears,
blaming yourself after crying by thinking "was I being dramatic?" or feeling like crying means you've lost,
then I want you to try rephrasing it just for today.

Instead of "I shouldn't cry," try saying,

"Was I able to cry?"

Give yourself credit for the fact that you cried.
It's not weakness; it's that you touched something.
It's not a burden; it's that you were able to react.

If possible, one last thing.
After you grab a tissue, briefly check in with your heart.

"What did I touch upon?"
"What was I really holding dear?"

The answer doesn't have to be profound.
Once you find those words, your tears will change from "guilt" into a "guidepost."

If you could cry, it means what you value is still alive

Crying is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you were able to cry, it is proof that what you value inside is still alive.

If any part of this resonated with you, I would be happy if you left a like. / If you think you'd like to read more, please follow me as well.

If you'd like, I'll leave two related articles here.
"I really don't feel like I can do it" — A way to return to yourself in just 1 minute by "pretending"

A method to ask yourself when you "don't know which one to choose"

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