#243 A Story of Letting Go of Worry | Consciousness Training | Avatar® and Me ①

I am well past my mid-50s.
They say we live in an era of the 100-year lifespan, but
I have long since passed the halfway point (laughs).
Youth has left me, but I like who I am now the best.

Every morning, I align my consciousness before heading to work.
Exploring consciousness is my life's work and also my hobby.
Every day, there are variousrealizations and I never run out of interest in myself.

I will write about my experience with "Avatar®", which was the catalyst for this.

"Avatar®" is not about digital avatars in a virtual world, but
a program for deeply examining and exploring one's own consciousness.

It has been almost20 years since I learned thetools for traveling through the unknown territory of consciousness with "Avatar®".Avatar tools are my reliable partners.

I was aworrywart child. That familiar
feeling of anxiety that had taken up residence inside me.

My story of being aworrywart since childhood is in the second half of this article ↓

Before I met "Avatar®", my default was a "
serious expression". You can tell clearly when looking at old photos. My
passport photo
from my 20s had no blemishes or wrinkles, and my skin was plump. But it was ananxious expression
that makes you want to ask, "Are you okay?" It looks somewhat sad.

Thinking back now, there was a "benefit" to being a "
worrywart" back then.

When I was a child, my parents always helped me. My friends were all kind, too. Even if I didn't ask for help, if I just looked troubled, they would do things for me instead. I grew up protected by many people.

And so, after adolescence, I also had the assumption that "
looking troubled is more attractive for a woman" (laughs). The ennui charm of a sorrowful face?? It had a certain attraction effect when I was young (laughs), so there was indeed a "
benefit

" to doing that.

I also held the somewhat rude and meaningless idea that being "carefree and happy" was "foolish".

Now, I almost neverfret. My husband sometimes even calls me "airheaded" (laughs). He also often says, "

There's someone who looks happy from the morning" (laughs). In that sense, I might be much more "foolish" than I used to be.

It was only recently, after turning 50, that people started saying, "Uda-san, you areinteresting."

That the day would come in my life when people would call me "interesting"! Even though I was supposed to be a person with no sense of humor and no interesting qualities at all!

Perhaps it is the result of consciousness training that I have been happily continuing for many years, but I feel like I am shedding unnecessary things year by year and feeling more at ease.

It's not that I wanted to become a fool (lol). But,

・I wanted to always have a fun and cheerful state of mind

—that is what I thought.

One of my answers to the question (which appears in the first exercise of the Avatar Course Part I, "Resurfacing®"): "If you could recreate yourself within the realistic constraints for you, what would you want to become?".

Now, from the moment I wake up in the morning (even on days when I'm tired), I feel
vaguely happy (lol).

Although there are common teaching materials, the subject matter for exploration is oneself, so the points where people feel the effects of the training vary.

However, what I feel is definitely a common thread is that the "seriousness" that makes one's life painful can be let go.

I think so when I look at the people I met at the "Avatar®" workshop and have known for a long time. It's been almost 20 years since we met. Everyone has had various life experiences, but they are all resilient people with cool smiles.

The indoctrination of "how things should be" and assumptions of "this is who I am" that we have taken into ourselves without knowing it during our lives. You can discover such things, and what you decide for yourself is unnecessary can be let go.

I think the beauty of "Avatar®" is that you can discover things about yourself that you hadn't seen before, rather than having them pointed out or taught to you by others. Because it resonates and sinks in, you can let it go (there are also methods for letting go).

And, you learn not only how to "let go", but also how to "become the person you want to be" and "achieve what you want to do" by learning how to use your consciousness. That is the key!

The Avatar Course is a consciousness exploration program that cultivates the power to live intentionally.

In my case, during the course, I discovered that an event from my childhood was one of the causes of my tendency to worry.

After that, I also realized that the "benefits" I was getting from having a "worried face" had, before I knew it, turned into "disadvantages" rather than benefits (lol).

I don't need the version of me with a worried face anymore. I felt that from the bottom of my heart. Seriously, I'm glad I was able to let it go.

I decided to use the rich imagination I cultivated through reading, not to
create worries, but to
create an exciting future!

Things I'm glad I encountered "Avatar®" for. There are many others, but among them, letting go of the belief that "

being with people is tiring" was a particularly big event for my life thereafter.

If I hadn't been able to let that go, I think it would have been tough to work as a
school librarian. Or rather, if I hadn't done
Avatar®, I might not have become an
elementary school librarian.

Actually, I used to be not good with children. (A shocking confession!?)

I would like to write about that someday as well.

Thank you for reading my personal experience this far.

About the Avatar® mentioned in the article

If you are interested in the consciousness exploration program I experienced, you can see the details here.

There are also experiences from other people on the official website. It's interesting to see all the different kinds of people. There are books too!