The 'I Quit Being a Mom' Declaration: How I, a Single Mother, Stopped Being a 'Mom'.
Yesterday, I made a 'I quit being a mom' declaration to my child.
That said, I am not abandoning my duties as a parent. I will still make breakfast and help them bathe. So, what will change?
Mothers have names, too.
'From now on, please call me by my name.' I asked. The trigger was a certain article. The following is the inspiration I received from the content of that article. Please read it first.
・From parent to child: Parents tend to treat their children like possessions.
・From child to parent: Children tend to think parents will listen to anything they say, but parents are just imperfect human beings who were once children themselves. There are many things they cannot do.
・Even if we tell ourselves we are in an equal relationship, we rarely are conscious of it in daily life.
・If so, it is better to stop using the pronoun (Mom) and call each other by name.
Reading this reminded me of Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea.
A mother called by her name
The little boy in the movie, Sosuke, lives with his mother, Lisa. His father is a sailor and is almost never home. The main focus of the movie is the meeting between Sosuke and Ponyo, but I have always been interested in Lisa. Various interpretations are flying around, but
I would like to believe that the reason they call each other by their first names is because 'they respect each other as individuals rather than as roles.'.
Is it wrong to call your parent by their first name?
If there were a child in Japan calling their parent by their first name, surely someone would chide them, saying 'You shouldn't speak to your parent like that.'. The reason the Ponyo story became a topic of conversation is simply because it was unusual. But I think that if both parties are in agreement, there is no need for outsiders to interfere. Besides, whether you use 'Mom,' 'Mama,' or even 'old hag,' there are countless relationships where, despite using a pronoun for a mother, there is no mutual respect.
Parents are not perfect
'There is no such thing as a perfect human being.' It's a phrase we hear often. Yet, when it comes to parent-child relationships, why do people get so red in the face about the idea of defying a parent? Is it because their own imperfection has been seen through?
People who are angry are people who are in trouble
I believe that when people get angry, it is because they are anxious or in trouble.
・When a situation occurs that is beyond your expectations
・When you are already at your limit
・When you are hopelessly anxious about the future and feel like lashing out at someone
Therefore, when you are in trouble, it is okay to ask for help. Even if you are an adult.
'I can't ask my own child for help.' 'It's a parent's job to protect their child.'I understand why you feel that way. But your child is watching how hard you work. They are watching you much more closely than your colleagues you see every day, or your friends from school. If you've reached your limit, it's okay to cry.In a little while, a hand like a cream bun will likely wipe your cheeks.Because that's how it always is for me.
Let's quit being a mom.
That is why I will proudly quit being a mom. And I will love my child more than ever before.
Please check out my previous article as well.
いいなと思ったら応援しよう！
この記事を気に入ってくれたら、よければチップお願いします。一口100円から、何度でもOKです。いただいたお金は記事作成に使わせていただきます。