What remains most on a day when your score falls apart

“Your true character shows most when you have the least room to spare.”

Losing your composure is by no means a bad thing.
The words and expressions you choose when things are difficult—
I believe that is where a person's true self quietly emerges.

At the driving range at dusk

At the evening driving range, the sounds gradually fade away.

As the bustle of the day recedes, all you can hear are the dry sounds of impact and the small sighs leaking from the next stall.
The white balls, illuminated by the floodlights, are sucked into the darkening sky.

The scent of the grass becomes a bit heavier with the night dew, and a gentle sweat seeps into the palms gripping the clubs.

In such moments, I sometimes watch the backs of students who continue to hit balls silently and alone.

For some reason, the backs of those having a bad day look a little more rounded than usual.

The 'day it all falls apart' that everyone has

Especially when you have just started golf, there are days when a bad round can make you feel as if your entire self has been rejected.

The driver curves to the right.
The iron strikes the ground.
Even short putts slide past the cup.

“Why is it only me?”
“I’m done for today.”

Such voices grow louder in your head, and before you know it, your replies become curt. The sound of you returning your club to the bag also becomes just a little bit sharper.

It should only be your score that is falling apart, yet your expressions and words fall apart too.

Perhaps that is the slightly cruel part of golf.

I, too, lose my composure

To be honest, I also fall apart often.

In lessons, I show them how it's done, saying, 'Relax your strength' or 'If you land it there, it will roll right up,' making it look easy, but when it comes to my own round, I cannot do the same.Wait, that was one unit.

“I want to get this close.”
“I want to stop the bogey.”
“I don't want to hit an OB.”

When such feelings pile up, I grip the club too tightly, and even my breathing becomes shallow.

Even when you know you are losing your composure, you think the worst and cannot stop yourself.
Even if you have been playing golf for a long time, there are days like that.

Because I am on the teaching side, it does not mean I can always stay calm.

I am still reminded time and again that composure is not a personality trait you are born with, but something you have to cultivate by experiencing pressure many times and accumulating small successes.

The atmosphere changed by Mr. N's words

Mr. N, who I was with for a course lesson the other day, was having one of those days.

He was talking happily with his wife in the morning, but he hit consecutive out-of-bounds shots in the first half and missed short putts as well.

By the time the second half started, he was speaking less, and even when his wife said, 'You'll be fine next time,' his only replies were 'Yeah' or 'Right.'

His wife also seemed to find it increasingly difficult to talk to him.

While waiting for his tee shot, I stood next to Mr. N and asked him.

'What words would you like to say to the person you are playing with right now?'

Mr. N looked a little surprised.

He stared at the distant green, remained silent for a while, and then answered in a small voice.

'...I guess, thank you.'
'Thank you for being with me today.'

The moment he conveyed those words to his wife, the tense atmosphere between the two of them suddenly relaxed.

His wife smiled and replied, 'Thank you, too.'

It is not that his shots suddenly improved after that.
His score did not change much either.

Even so, Mr. N returned to the clubhouse with the calmest expression he had had all day.

Things that do not remain on the scorecard

'The less composure you have, the more your true character shows.'
I do not think this means you should never lose your composure.

There are moments for everyone when things get difficult.
There are times when you cannot smile and times when you do not want to talk.

What matters is not forcing yourself to look impressive.

Can you hold back one harsh word when you are feeling overwhelmed?
Can you say a brief "thank you"?

Golf is said to be a battle against oneself, but in reality, there is often someone walking alongside you.

The words you speak and the expressions you show during difficult moments are not written on the scorecard.

However, they remain in the memory of the person you were with that day for surprisingly long.

Two things you can try starting today

When your score falls apart and you feel overwhelmed, try looking at the person next to you just once before rushing to your next shot.

You don't even need to say anything.

Just by making eye contact, you can step back out of your own world for a moment.
Then, your breath, which had almost stopped, will begin to move slowly again.

The other thing is to choose just one short phrase.

"Thank you."
"Nice shot."
"Thanks for waiting for me."

You don't have to try to say much.

Even just a single word can create a little space not only in the atmosphere around you but also in your own heart.

The scenery you see on a bad day

There is a time in the evening when soft light pours onto the fairway.

Under your feet, the slightly damp grass sinks quietly beneath your spikes. You can hear birds in the distance, and long shadows stretch across the cart path.

In such scenery, we pass by things more important than our scores time and time again.

It is okay to have days when things fall apart.
There are days when you might get grumpy, and days when you cannot find the words.

Even so, if you can choose one word that considers someone else at the end, that day will not end as just a bad day.

The small kindness you show on a day when you have no room to spare can sometimes remain in someone's heart longer than a nice shot.

When you are struggling in golf, what kind of words do you want to say to the person you are with?