Self-Introduction | Why I am a counselor and why I teach self-counseling. <2023 ver.>
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Nice to meet you, I'm Tomoyo.
10 years of exploring the mind. Hobby: myself.
Wrapped in absolute trust and peace of mind,
I support you in building the foundation for a way of life that can only lead to happiness,
where you can proudly "live as yourself."
"The me I want to be, from this very moment."
To choose this, there is one skill that is absolutely essential:
the "power of listening."
If you cannot listen to your own voice clearly,
you cannot make your wishes come true.
I also teach "self-counseling methods"
to cultivate the "power of listening" that serves as the foundation for everything.
✅The trials I have overcome
Parental bankruptcy
Bullying by a senior in my student days
Bulimia
Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict
Stillbirth and miscarriage
Atopic dermatitis ← This is where I began learning about the mind
Financial troubles
Bereavement of my husband
Cervical cancer
Just because I learned about the mind
doesn't mean that anxiety and difficulties disappear,
but because I learned about the mind, I know that
these events do not make me unhappy.
So, if there is someone out there right now
who is trapped and suffering
I want to share how to break free from that.
▫️Hometown: Aichi
▫️Blood Type: A
▫️Zodiac Sign: Libra
▫️Family: Two sons
A single mother in her 40s still working hard
A frank and free-spirited person
▫️I love manga ← Currently obsessed with Kingdom
▫️I love cats
▫️I love sweets
If you are struggling with your relationship with your mother, please check this out too.
☑️4 exercises
☑️Includes a 14-day free audio program
Why am I a counselor, and why do I teach self-counseling?
I used to have absolutely no self-confidence.
As a child, I was a so-called leader type.
Even though I stood at the front and was a visible presence,
I lacked confidence.
Confidence in being loved.
I felt a huge gap between the self that others saw
and the self I knew inside,
and while trying to balance that,
I lived with the feeling of
"having no place to belong."
I lived my life always carrying that feeling.
A place where I could truly relax and feel at ease,
a place where I could truly feel safe enough to reveal my true self.
While searching for such a place,
opening my heart was the scariest thing of all.
With a closed heart,
naturally, I could not receive love.
With my heart kept closed,
I only became good at conforming on the surface.
And I thought that was normal.
Because isn't that what being an "adult" is?
The beginning of my exploration of the mind was when I developed atopic dermatitis.
I am doing reasonably well as an adult.
I am handling things smoothly.
That is what I thought.
But I couldn't fool my body.
Truly, one day, all of a sudden,
my whole body became so itchy,
it became unbearable.
I didn't know that itching could make you feel like you were going crazy.
Even though it's about me,
even though it's my own body,
why do I feel like it's so out of control?
Where on earth does this suffering come from?
I want to know that.
That was the catalyst for my exploration of the mind.
Attacked by itching so bad I couldn't even sleep at night,
What is the cause, and how can I cure it?
My head was filled with that.
If I use strong medicine, it subsides for the time being.
However, my heart was always anxious.
The more I looked at various information on the internet,
the more anxious I became.
Not only the symptoms, but
this
always 'anxious me'
was what I really wanted to do something about.
That was when I encountered
the technique called counseling.
The secret to making unhappiness no longer unhappy
Counseling is a skill, but
the deeper you go into it,
the more you end up looking at yourself, the one practicing it.
In that process, I realized
many of my own feelings that I had been pretending not to see.
Because I had been suppressing them for so long just to fit in with those around me.
To escape from anxiety and suffering,
it is important to properly look at
the self that is feeling those things.
In other words,
“knowing yourself”
is the only place where it all begins; I learned that.
What I react to,
what emotions sprout from there,
how I think,
and what I am creating
I get to know it, one by one.
For me,
the “poor me” (so pay attention to me)
the “unhappy me” (so help me)
was the process of looking at and letting go of that uncool version of myself.
By doing so,
“happiness is 100% my own responsibility”
standing on this perspective
means you become able to choose your own happiness at any time.
What is important is,
knowing what is happening
inside of yourself.
I came to feel that keenly.
And the most effective
and simplest method
for knowing yourself
was,
self-counseling using a notebook.
If you have a notebook and a pen,
you can start by yourself right now,
and as you write, your worries are released,
and you can smoothly
move toward the future you desire.
My wishes are coming true while I remain my natural self.
The biggest change I feel
Even if you learn about the mind, it doesn't mean that
anxiety and worries will disappear
No matter what happens
I can definitely choose
the happiness of this "present" moment.
I have that confidence now.
And, I have become able to
feel at ease with myself at any time.
Just as I am, being myself.
In the end, what I wanted most was
to be able to live byconfidently and proudly expressing
my own choices and feelings.
"I want to live my life proudly as myself"
because that was about giving myself permission to do so.
I want to live straight and true
to my own unique answers.
I just wanted to fulfill that wish.
Living life as myself.
That is by no means selfish,
because the more you respect your own sensibilities,
the more you are able to
respect others in the same way.
That is what I believe.
People can only accept others to the extent
that they accept themselves
Because the depth at which you connect with yourself
is the same depth at which you connect with others.
Improving human relationships,
how you handle money,
and how to make your wishes come true
all begin by turning inward toward yourself.
Because I know this,
no matter what events occur on the outside,
I can remain grounded, feel the here and now,
and choose the person I want to be.
Always, starting from this very moment.
Looking toward the future.
I have two sons.
I hope that the future they walk toward
will be bright and full of hope.
That is my constant wish.
To that end, I believe that
each person taking responsibility for their own happiness
is truly important.
Where each individual expresses their uniqueness,
acknowledges one another,
forgives one another,
and supports one another,
growing together in abundance.
Wishing for such a world,
I want to support
mental health and being true to oneself.
<Kindle Publication>
I write about how to handle emotions and release guilt,
with a focus on the relationship with one's mother.
☑️ I'm not good at expressing myself
☑️ I have a habit of being overly concerned with how others see me
☑️ There is someone I cannot forgive
☑️ "I'm not good enough anyway" is my catchphrase
☑️ I lack confidence that I am loved
This is a book I would like you to read if that sounds like you.