The day I ate a tempura bowl at the park and felt happier than I expected.
Lately, even a small outing requires a lot of mental preparation for me.
I find myself worrying a little before I even leave, wondering, "Will I be okay today?"
Today, however, something happened that made me happier than I expected.
Today, my family and I went to get our rings maintained.
We drove a bit far, asked the shop to take care of it, and that was that.
I knew the easiest thing would be to just finish the errand and head straight home.
But my husband and I started talking, saying, "Since we came all this way, wouldn't it be a waste to just go home now?"
And so, we decided to head to a nearby park.
It was a simple decision, but
for me, it was a choice that required a little bit of "oomph" to make.
We wandered around, looking for a place near the park where we could get takeout.
I can't remember the last time we walked around saying things like, "How about this place?" or "What about that one?"
That was actually kind of fun, too.
And what we found was"Tenya."
I ordered the shrimp and vegetable tempura bowl bento, with a small portion of rice.
It had two shrimp, eggplant, pumpkin, and green beans, all covered in plenty of sauce.
We spread a picnic mat on the park lawn,
and ate while cooling off in the shade of the trees, breathing in the fresh air.
It was delicious.
Every bit of it.
Though, halfway through, I started to feel a little sick.
I ended up leaving just a tiny bit, maybe 10 percent.
Thinking that maybe even a small portion was too much, I asked
my personal "Leftover Disposal Knight Commander (my husband)"to take care of the rest.He is truly a godsend at times like this.
In the past, I probably would have felt down at this point.
I couldn't finish it again.
I feel bad making him eat my leftovers.
I feel like I would have been dragged down by those thoughts.
But today, something was different.
I thought to myself, "I managed to eat outside."
Not at home, but at the park.
With the wind blowing and the sound of children playing in the distance.
Without worrying too much about other people, at my own pace.
I was able to properly enjoy my meal.
That made me happier than I had expected.
It might sound like an exaggeration, but
"enjoying a meal outside" has been a high hurdle for me ever since my health took a turn.
Because I never know how my stomach will be, eating out has always been a source of great anxiety.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was constantly worrying about what I would do if I started feeling sick while eating.
That's why, like today, being able to choose what I wanted to eat as takeout,
eat it outside, and end it by saying "that was delicious"
felt quietly happy, somehow.
It's true that I couldn't finish it all, but
it was a day where "enjoying it" won out over that.
Going out with my family, eating what I like outside,
and being able to say "today was fun" from the bottom of my heart on the way home.
It might be a small thing, but for me, it was definitely a step forward.
Today was a day where I could clearly see the things I "could do"
rather than the things I "couldn't do."🌱
I'm managing somehow, even today.
