Essay | Embracing my little self, my beloved self begins

My mother's belief was
that "if you raise people by praising them, they will become useless."

I have never been praised by my mother.
I have no memory of being hugged either.

I didn't need to be praised.
I just wanted to be hugged.
Even if it was just a memory from when I was really small, that would have been enough.

Now, I have a daughter,
and she laughs so innocently.
She laughs, cries, gets angry, and talks a lot.

When she speaks to me with a face that looks like she's about to cry,
I hug her.
Then, she scrunches up her face,
and while clinging to me, she cries, "Mommy!"

Whether crying
or laughing,
I wanted to be hugged.

That is why
I hug my daughter.

It feels like I am hugging my younger self,
and somehow, I feel relieved.

Inner child
or adult child,
perhaps those words
are connected to this.

But,
that doesn't really matter.

What is important to me now is
to simply hug and raise the girl in front of me who looks so much like me.
May her days of laughing, crying, getting angry, and talking a lot continue.

And, if I may wish,
may my days of laughing, crying, getting angry, and talking a lot begin.

───

If I were to trace the past a little further.
▶For just one month, I was your child

What is inside me now.
▶︎Today, I am raising my child while harboring feelings of rebellion

The gentle daily life of a mother and daughter.
▶︎An ordinary day


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For those who want to walk through more diverse worlds,
▶︎Welcome! To the world of Tsuharu