It is thanks to you.

Are you not curious?
What life is like after giving up on fertility treatment.

I was very curious.
Before I started treatment, I could only imagine myself holding a baby.
As it became increasingly likely that my treatment would end, I felt anxious, wondering, "Wait, what kind of life am I going to lead from now on?" And when I decided to withdraw after four failed rounds of ICSI and two miscarriages, I didn't know what kind of face I should wear to go on living.

While there are articles and personal stories about people who have given birth and are raising children after fertility treatment, the world where that doesn't happen rarely comes to light.
The only person like a pioneer I could find was Ahn Mika, but since she is a celebrity, she couldn't really serve as a reference or role model for me.

I started writing on note as I pleased, with the hope that if I, an unknown person who is nobody, could write about my life after giving up, I might become a role model for someone.
There are silly articles, serious articles, and overwhelmingly more articles that have nothing to do with fertility treatment, but it was meant to be a message that "Even if you give up on fertility treatment, I am living happily doing things completely unrelated to that."

Yesterday marked one month since I opened my account.

Things might be changing little by little compared to a month ago.

※The people and articles introduced below are ones I have chosen to feature as I please. Please let me know if there are any issues...

One month since starting note, things that have changed

① I have started leaving comments more often

By nature, I am a shy introvert. I am a person of the shadows.
That shyness is fully displayed on social media as well; even though I open Instagram and Twitter accounts, I end up repeating the cycle of leaving them abandoned or deleting the accounts, thinking, "Ah, I guess I just can't do this..."
So, for the first few articles, I was just muttering to a wall.
But someone found my articles from somewhere and left a comment.
That was Shusho-san, whom I look up to as an older sister.

She is the one who taught me, "Receiving comments is a happy thing!"

Learning from the article below that even Shusho-san doesn't just leave comments effortlessly, I felt, "I want to share the happy feelings I've received with others too."

The hurdle for me to leave comments on articles I read and thought were "wonderful" or "funny" has lowered.
I am leaving comments on various people's articles more lightly than before.

If it weren't for Shusho-san, I think I would still be muttering to a wall.
Thank you. I love you.

② The hurdle for writing every day has lowered.

While interacting with Shusho-san, I soon learned about a project.
That is the 66-day writing x running challenge hosted byYasu-san.

Post an article every day for 66 days.
It is a terrifying project where you are expelled if your posts stop.
Honestly, I don't know why I said "I want to participate" at that time.
Because at first, I had written something like "I will update on weekends" in my self-introduction.
I work, and I didn't have the idea of writing every day.
Even though it was clearly reckless, I left a comment saying "I want to participate."
What I think now is that I was just copying Shusho-san... (lol)

Honestly, I thought I would give up right away.
But today is the 28th day. That is one month's worth if it were February in a non-leap year.
I have also awakened to the joy of reading wonderful articles by following the writing-running challenge.

Thank you for providing a place where I can work hard together with people who have the same goal. I love you.

③ I have awakened to the joy of note surfing

Even before creating an account, I knew about note and read articles from time to time.
Since I like notebooks and planners, when I search for how to use them on Google, note articles come up.
I used to use it by reading through articles by my favorite people.
When I created an account and went inside, a more fun and vast world was spreading out.
I can read various people's articles from "Recommended for you" and from related articles of what I have read.
Mokomokopen-san, whom I learned about via "Recommended for you."
Thinking "This is interesting!", they were the first person I followed voluntarily.

The range of their articles is very wide.
From mindset-related content that makes you think "I see!" to

content that makes you chuckle.

I also like that the tone is consistent regardless of the content.
When I want to be silly, I go all the way.
Above all, I sincerely respect that they can maintain this quality every day.
Thank you for the wonderful articles every day. I love you.

4. I got a taste for the ultimate kindness of saying, "What are you talking about?"

#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout is causing a bit of a stir. I knew that it was a tag quietly spread by
Konishi Kinoko-san to about the same extent as I know about the mysterious lint that somehow forms between my toes, but when I tried using it in my own article, I was deeply moved by how incredibly useful this tag is. Having tasted that experience once, I've become someone who can't help but look for material for "What are you talking about?" "What are you talking about?" is a tag I want to recommend to all of humanity. When you lose sight of your landing point, using it makes you feel very good, and you can enjoy a somewhat profound lingering effect. You can stop whenever you feel like you want to quit, and there are no adverse health effects. Just try it once, okay? It'll blow your mind.

Konishi Kinoko-san's articles are also very interesting and have a charm that makes you lose track of time while reading them. As a new noter, I am reading them by going back little by little. The following article is one of my favorites.

(Konishi-san, thank you for introducing me again this time.)

Thank you for the wonderful tag. I love it.

5. The world expands through magazines.

Since a few days ago, I have been participating not only in Rairan but also in a collaborative magazine hosted by Yohei-san. The name is... well, isn't it nice? I want to do my best because I want to be a role model for those who have given up on fertility treatment. I do.

Having my articles introduced by people participating together

And being picked up in Yohei-san's daily morning magazine report articles

It is very much appreciated. Just by participating in the same magazine, I feel like it's strangely easier to reach out to others. I even feel like I could ask, "Your article moved my heart. Is it okay if I write about the same theme?" Thank you for the comfortable place to belong. I love it.

For those who have been updating their note for a long time, it's only been one month. But my world is expanding. It's just one month. Yet, it is one month. I want to continue running toward my dreams while borrowing everyone's strength. Thank you always. With love to everyone who reads this.