Being timid is not cowardice; it is proof that you are calm and understand reality.

Hello, this is T.

To start with the conclusion, lacking confidence or courage is
not cowardice, but proof that you are calm and understand reality well,
so
it is a mistake to think of it as a 'weakness'.

In the past (the way of thinking about 30 years ago),
in sports, school tests,
and just about everything,
people were told to 'have confidence'.

If you said, 'I can't have confidence' or
'I'm scared,'
people would say, 'How weak! lol' lol

Not just in the past, but even now, when I play with children,
they tease each other saying things like 'How weak! lol,' but
not having confidence or courage
is natural for everyone at first,
and I don't think it's weak at all.

Among my child's friends, even when playing on playground equipment
or jumping off a high wall,
even though they try desperately to keep up with their friends,
there is a child who always asks for help from adults,
saying, 'I'm scared! 💦'

That child's parents say things like, 'My child is timid,' but
inwardly, I am always impressed, thinking, 'Oh, this child is
already capable of feeling fear at this age!'

Even adults, for example, when looking at rain clouds,

• someone who says, 'I'll probably be fine!' and doesn't carry an umbrella

• someone who thinks, 'It might rain,' and carries an umbrella

The latter may look 'timid,' but
actually, you could say they are 'reading reality.'

When driving a car, if there is thick fog and you can't see a meter ahead,
or when driving on an unfamiliar road for the first time, what you need
is not confidence or courage, but the caution to proceed while avoiding risks.

In other words,
❌ Common misconception
　　→ 'A person who is afraid = A weak person'
✅ From a psychological perspective
　　→ 'A person who can feel fear = A person who can identify danger and reality'
is the result.

Therefore,
instead of 'proceeding because you aren't afraid,'
it is better to have the mindset of
'proceeding in small steps while still feeling afraid.'

A person who is never afraid and never wavers,
if you look at it from a different perspective, is 'reckless.'

True confidence and courage are not about not being afraid, but
'being able to proceed while understanding the fear'is what
I think.

Before proceeding while understanding the fear,
there is a point of caution for the cautious types.

That is, do not wait for '100% safety.'

I am a cautious person myself, so
I understand the feeling all too well, but
the more cautious a person is,

• they think, 'I'll do it after I prepare more...'

• Waiting until you are perfect...

• Waiting until you know for sure you will succeed...

It is easy to think this way.

But in reality,
there is almost no such thing as a 100% safe challenge.

Therefore, "moving forward while understanding the fear" means
taking action and moving forward while gradually convincing yourself that it will be okay.
That is what it means.

The feeling that things will be okay is the same as having a successful experience.

You cannot gain successful experiences without taking action.
There is seriously no need to feel down by comparing yourself to others;
you just need to feel,
in your own way,
that you are moving forward little by little (small successful experiences).

The secret to gaining small successful experiences is...

Exactly! It is habituation!

There it is! The cliché "habituation"!
I can almost hear you saying, "If I could do that, I wouldn't be struggling!" lol

But you see, especially for cautious people,
if you don't make it a habit,
anxiety will immediately take over lol
Immediately, a version of myself sitting with my knees pulled up and giving me a side-eye in my brain
starts staring at me! lol
(If you are a cautious person, you should understand lol)

That is why, if you don't make it a habit and gain small successful experiences every day,
you will get trapped in your own thoughts and become unable to move,
and before you know it, you'll be looking at social media.
That is what ends up happening.
(My past self... no, even now sometimes...)

Trying to fight fear, trying to erase it,
blaming it on a lack of confidence or courage,
you don't need to do any of that,

so that you can have the feeling of moving forward little by little
while still being properly timid (while calmly looking at reality),
let's "make it a habit."

And I am convinced that this
is the fastest way to become the person you want to be, even if it looks like a detour.
I am convinced of this.

Mr./Ms. T