Negative Coping Strategies: 4 Rules to Protect Your Heart | The Ups and Downs of a 40-Something Single Mom's Life

Hello.
I'm Yu, a woman with nowhere to go but up.

Do you think that "negative equals bad"?

In fact, if you handle it well, negativity can be an important signal for protecting your heart.

This time, I will introduce the "ways to face negativity" that I tried and tested myself after going through an adjustment disorder.

1. Don't deny your negativity

It takes a bit of courage to accept that you are in a negative mindset, doesn't it?

It only has a negative image, after all.
And it feels like if you acknowledge the negativity, you'll just get dragged further into it.

But for me, I first stopped denying the negativity within myself.

"Ah, I'm being really negative right now."
I decided to honestly accept that for a moment.

And then, I let the negativity out as much as possible.
Of course, the place to let it out is within my own heart.

When I feel down, I let myself hit rock bottom, vent as much negativity as I can, and sort it out within myself.
It's okay for adults to cry their eyes out, too.

2. Don't consume negativity

The next thing I stopped doing.
That was consuming negativity.

Specifically, I stopped being dependent on social media.
In particular, I deleted the X (formerly Twitter) app entirely.

I realized that because AI is so smart, when I'm in a negative state, all I see is content that has a bad influence on my heart.

It is a very wonderful technology, but it is very dangerous when you are in a negative state.

By seeing the "poison" that someone else has spewed, you might mistake it as if you are being attacked yourself, and end up getting hurt.

It may only be "a few characters," but the destructive power received from words is tremendous.

When you feel... tired from looking at social media.
There is a possibility that your heart is sending out an SOS.

3. Distance yourself from negative people

Personally, I think this is the most important one.

For example, when you are tired or feeling down, which type of person would you rather be with—the one who gives you a supportive response?

<Person A>

<Person B>

I definitely prefer Person A.

It is certainly necessary to have someone listen to your complaints sometimes.
However, if you only get negative responses like Person B's every time, your mood will gradually become darker.

The negative words you receive from others multiply the negativity within yourself.

I think it is important to have the courage to distance yourself from people who make you feel exhausted when you are around them.

4. Coexisting with Negativity

While I have been saved by positivity, I also vent my own poison and get deeply depressed sometimes.

For example, bicycles speeding on the sidewalk. There are people who glare at you while ringing their bells, right?

To people like that, I vent poison like,
"That's dangerous. This is a sidewalk! I hope you trip and fall somewhere." (This is fiction, of course.)
I vent that kind of poison almost every day.

But I only vent that poison in the moment.
Basically, only in my own mind.
When I share my feelings with someone, I make it a rule to only do so when I can turn it into a funny story.

Negativity multiplies rapidly through poisonous 'words'.

You might feel relieved if you vent them to someone immediately.

Especially if you vent on social media, I'm sure there are many people who will agree with you.
But I think there is also a possibility that it could become a fatal wound for someone else.

Try not to dwell on the poison as much as possible.
And don't spread it.

That also leads to protecting your own heart.

But honestly.
Living positively all the time is exhausting, isn't it?

Actually, I'm also a bit uncomfortable with people who only say positive things. Like, constantly converting everything into positive words... I don't really understand what they're talking about.

That's why I don't think there's any need to force yourself to live positively.

If you polish the 'positivity' that helps you when you really need it, I think it's fine to vent poison or be negative in your daily life.

Be honest with your feelings.

When you want to be bright and positive, be positive; conversely, when you want to be deeply negative, it's fine to be negative.

However, in either case, do not involve others or force your views on them.

That is how I, having crawled my way up from rock bottom, recommend dealing with positivity and negativity. It is a way to make yourself smile without pushing too hard. Well then, I will end it here for this time.

***

▼ This is the kind of woman who wrote this note ▼