[Essential Guide] The 'Balance Inspection Checklist' to Check When You Feel Down
This is a continuation of the article above.
If you are currently experiencing
unexplained anxiety, sadness, or strong self-denial,
before you try to analyze the events, I want you to first look back at this checklist.
1. Have you been leaning too heavily on work lately?
Are you still thinking about work while heading home?
Is your mind filled with work even on your days off?
Are you overthinking evaluations, expectations, and disappointments?
☑ If 2 or more apply
→ A sign that your life's center of gravity is leaning too far toward 'work'
2. Has your time for physical activity decreased?
Are you putting off kickboxing or exercise?
Are you exhausted but continuing to use only your brain?
☑ If this applies
→ A state where emotions are not being processed and are building up inside
3. Are you expressing your feelings?
You haven't been writing lately
You haven't been sharing your true feelings with anyone
You find yourself swallowing things by saying 'it's fine' more often
☑ If this applies
→ A sign that your emotions have nowhere to escape
4. Has your time with family or others become a 'chore'?
Even when you are at home, your heart is still at work
You are having conversations, but there is no space for connection
You don't feel refreshed even when you are together
☑ If this applies to you
→ The possibility that your connection has become solely about "roles"
⑤ Are you comparing your ideal self too much with your current self?
Blaming yourself by thinking, "I should be able to do more"
Are you judging your present by an ideal image from the past?
☑ If this applies to you
→ A state where your evaluation criteria are fixed on a "future ideal"
What to do when you have many checks (Most important)
✔ Do not blame yourself
✔ Do not look for causes
✔ Do not draw conclusions about your life
All you need to do is restore just one point of balance.
Move your body
Write something down
Properly return to family time
Take a step back from work
You don't have to do everything.
If you restore just one thing, your heart will feel a little lighter.
[Practical Edition] The "Recovery Routine" I am conscious of
Some of you who have read this far may have thought,
"I understand the way of thinking, but what specifically should I do?"
So, in closing, I will leave you with the
recovery routine that I am actually conscious of.
This is not an "ideal life." It is a
realistic procedure for returning to normal after things have fallen apart.
① When you feel down, stop "looking for the cause"
The first thing I stopped doing was digging deep into the cause by asking,
"Why am I feeling this way?"
Instead, I ask this question.
What have I been leaning too heavily into lately?
What have I been cutting back on?
The reason can come later.
First, question your balance.
Just doing this has made it harder to fall into a loop of blaming myself.
It has become easier to avoid the loop of self-blame.
(2) Move your body before your head
The more down I feel, the more I keep thinking in my head.
The more depressed I feel, the more I tend to overthink.
That is why I choose to
move my body before I think.
Go kickboxing
On days I can't go, walk a little
Do at least some stretching
It is not "I will move when I feel better," but rather
my mood returns a little after I move.
I have realized this many times.
(3) Write before you drink
I have no intention of quitting alcohol completely.
But I have decided on one thing.
Write a few lines before drinking, even if it's just a little.
What was tough today?
What was I holding back on?
What did I really want to do?
It doesn't have to be writing for anyone else to see.
It doesn't have to be polished.
When I drink after writing it down,
alcohol becomes a "closure" rather than an "escape".
4. Create a "proper time to return" to your family
Even when you are at home,
there are times when your mind is still at work.
At such times,
even if it is short, consciously switch gears.
Face your children for just 5 minutes
Take the "listener" role in conversations
Decide on a time to put your smartphone away
It doesn't have to be for a long time.
Create a time to return as a person, not as a role make.
Just by doing that,
the center of gravity of your life will return a little.
5. Reflect only on "whether you were able to return today"
What you reflect on at the end of the day
is not self-reflection or evaluation.
The only thing to check is this.
Did you manage to restore balance in something today?
Were you able to exercise?
Were you able to write?
Were you able to laugh with your family?
If you were able to return, that is enough.
Even if there are days you couldn't return, don't blame yourself.
Recovery is not about moving forward
I used to think that
recovery = becoming positive
recovery = becoming strong
was the case.
But now it is different.
Recovery means returning to your original position.
It is not about becoming someone who never collapses,
but becoming someone who can return even after collapsing.
That is
much more realistic and allows you to live longer.
Finally
If you are once again
overcome by groundless anxiety or sadness,
you don't have to force yourself to recover.
First,
restore balance in just one area.
With just that,
your life is not as broken as you think.