Even with the trendy 'don't push yourself,' I might not be feeling fully energized

This week, I took a little break from note.

The reason is simple,
my energy was running low.

I went to Italy in the first half of last week,
and without even having time to get jet-lagged, I was back to work the day after I returned.

I had drinking parties night after night,
and on the weekend, I had plans to play poker with a senior colleague from work,
and I also went to renew my driver's license.

Before I knew it,
I had almost no time to recharge alone at home.

So this week, to rest my body and mind,
I consciously took a break from note.

Because when I get home from work and start writing on note,
I find that two hours have passed before I know it,
and I end up with only four hours of sleep.

That's why I decided, 'I'm taking this week off.'

The first two days or so were fine.

I was able to sleep well, and my performance during the day clearly improved. (Wait, was it dropping until now?)

For the first time in a while, I felt like I could truly relax.

But as the week went on, things started to feel a bit off.

For some reason, I felt uneasy.

Every day, in random moments, ideas for 'I want to write this on note!' would pop up.
But I would stop myself.

'No, you decided to take this week off, remember?'
'If you start writing, you'll end up pushing yourself too hard again, so don't.'

That's how I would take the feelings that came up,
like a game of Whac-A-Mole,
and crush them one by one.

Then, that started to become exhausting instead.

My body was certainly rested, though.

But for some reason, I'm just not feeling it.

That's because,
for me, writing on note is

a "I managed to write today!"small achievementand through that,
an act of giving myself a pat on the backfor it.

Without that,
no matter how healthy my body feels, my heart feels somewhat unfulfilled.

Even though I'm supposed to be resting, I don't feel satisfied.

I had ended up in that kind of state.

"Not pushing yourself" is, of course, important.

But, if I may say so without fear of being misunderstood,

being honest about what you want to do, even if it means pushing yourself a little.
Keeping promises to yourself.

I thought that might be just as important.

Because that isa charging spot for the heart.

Well, that balance is tricky, though...

If you, too,

are living days where you aren't pushing yourself, yet
you don't feel particularly excited.

That might be because
you are pushing yourself too hard to "not push yourself."maybe.

Even if it's a little bit of a burden,

try doing what your heart desires.
Accumulate small achievements.

Just with that,
I'm sure your vitality will return to your heart.

So, that's that.

Even though I'm taking the Shinkansen from the morning tomorrow (or is it today now?)
to go to a festival in Sendai,
I'm writing this article in the middle of the night.

Alright, I managed to write today too!
I did it!
Good job, me!

Carrying that small sense of accomplishment, I'm heading to bed.

Thank you for reading today as well.

Good night.

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