Graduation Anthology: Her Decision

She was struggling to make progress on her graduation anthology.

There were various reasons, but
it was a time when she had lost the motivation for everything.

She wanted to go to school, but
her body wouldn't move.
Her feelings couldn't keep up.
Gradually, she became unable to attend school,
and she became unable to do anything else either.

She couldn't move as she wanted to.
Only her anxiety grew.

Things she should do,
things that both she and those around her wanted,
she understood those things perfectly well.

However, her body would not move.
She couldn't move...
Her spirit was growing weaker and weaker.

At times like that, even if you want to do something, you just can't...

Everyone was worried, but
she finally regained enough emotional energy
to be able to talk with her homeroom teacher little by little.

The teacher was considerate of her and stood by her as much as possible.
Even to the point of adding to their own workload...
She is very fortunate to have met a teacher
who thinks of her with such genuine care.

They have been supporting her for two years, starting from last year.
There were times when they were caught between her and the school administration.
Precisely because they poured as much heart into her as a parent would,
there were times when it was difficult to balance their own feelings.

Over a long period of time, everyone has been supporting her.

The deadline for the graduation anthology had passed, but
up until the very last moment,
I had been respecting her feelings.

She continues to remain in a state of conflict.

I don't think she can write it...
Her parents said that with a look of disappointment.

What does she herself think about it...?

The final day,
I can no longer wait.

The day of the decision.

How does she feel about it?

Everyone else has already finished their clean copies, so it's too late...
But, I have to write the anthology...
If I don't write it, the teacher will have a hard time...
I've been told that if I can't write, I could draw a picture instead, but
I absolutely do not want to draw...
Today is the deadline, right...
At this point, it doesn't matter whether I write it or not...

When I think about it, so many emotions swirl around,
and I get confused.
I become unable to think, and I start to feel reckless.

That is precisely why,
it has remained untouched until now.

I'm glad she recovered enough energy
to be able to face things.

My role is to guide her so that she can be convinced
and make her own decisions.
So that she can come to terms with it.
So that she can draw a line for herself without regrets, knowing this is the right choice.

The decision is looming.

The deadline is today, within this hour.

Finishing the final draft
is very difficult.

Even if we don't reach the final draft,
we will write the rough draft.

After that,
is it possible to extend the time for the final draft?
If it's not possible, then we will draw a line
and end it there.

As expected of a sixth grader.
She seems to understand her own situation.

She says,
Hmm, what should I do...
and worries, unable to decide.

Emotions are swirling,
and she has lost track of her own feelings.

What do you want to do?

Hmm... I don't know...

You don't need to think about the school or the teachers.
You don't need to think about whether it's possible or not.
That is for us to think about, so it's okay,
you don't need to think about that, you don't need to worry.

Your feelings are what matter.
What are your true feelings?

Hmm...
You don't have to write it, or you can write it...
Hmm... I don't know...

Do you want to include your work in the anthology?
Are you okay with your work not being included?

If it's a question of whether I want to include it or not,
I think I want to...
Yeah! I want to include it, so I want to write it!
(Her voice becomes more vibrant, and her expression suddenly brightens)

But, the time until the final draft is...
(A hint of anxiety crosses her face)

Do you think you can at least write a rough draft?

Yeah, I think I can write a rough draft.
I have something put together to some extent.
(Her motivation wells up a little again)

If the rough draft is incomplete, that's as far as it goes.
Even if you finish the rough draft, whether it can be included
will be decided after checking it later.
Are you okay with that?

Yeah, I don't have much time, so if it's incomplete, that's that.
Everyone else will have reached the final draft, and I won't have made it that far.
I understand, I'm okay with that.

Alright! Let's do as much as we can!

In the limited time she had, she understood the situation,
focused on what she clearly needed to do right in front of her,
and with her own will,
faced the task of doing her absolute best.
She confronted the task of doing her best.

She let her pencil fly across the page.

In that short time, she was battling with herself.

In a familiar, relaxing place,
she kept her pencil moving.
Sometimes her hand would stop, she would worry about the time, or
her concentration would waver, but
she would immediately return her attention to writing and keep the pencil moving.
She poured her energy into what she could do,
and worked hard until the very end.

I did it!

Amazing! You worked so hard!
To have finished writing in such a short, limited amount of time is impressive!
That alone is a great achievement!

You finished the draft within the time limit.
That alone is already wonderful enough!

Well then, let's go take that draft to your homeroom teacher.

No! No way!
I don't want to hand it in...
Because the writing is a mess...

...I see.
They might say it's fine as it is, so
let's give it to the teacher and have them check it.

No, it's fine!
You don't have to show them.

What part of it makes you feel like you don't want to show it?

The content is a mess, so...
I don't want to show it.
I'm not satisfied with it, so...
I don't want to submit it.

Yeah, because I don't have time to review or revise it like everyone else.
I only wrote it within this short amount of time.

Hmm... if I had time, I could have written it properly...
But I only have this much time...
This draft is incomplete.
It's not a draft I'm satisfied with...

I see...
If you don't submit it to the teacher, it can't be included in the anthology, but...

Hmm... forget it!
It doesn't have to be included! (said in a slightly reckless tone)

What if the teacher looks at it and says it's fine, that it's okay?
You might be able to have it included in the anthology just like everyone else.

I want it included just like everyone else, but...
Having this included is...
But I'd hate it even more if it became a drawing.
If it's going to be a drawing, then it doesn't need to be included.
Forget it, I'm not including it (becoming reckless)

It seems like you're not feeling very calm right now, so
instead of deciding recklessly,
I'll give you some time, so let's calm down a little.
Then let's think about it.
Look inside yourself and see how you really feel.

(I watched over her for about 2-3 minutes)

She was looking down, staying silent, staring at one spot and thinking.
She is reflecting on herself.

Teacher, I've decided!
It doesn't have to be included.

Her expression was cheerful, and she spoke brightly.
She also seemed calm.

Is that so?

Yeah, it doesn't have to be included. (in a bright voice)

I see, you made a good decision! Well done!
You worked really hard!

Yeah!

May I ask why you decided that?
Could you tell me how you arrived at that answer?

Oh, sure.
I want to include it in the graduation anthology, but
that's so others can see it and know it's there,
and I realized that'sdoing something for the sake of others.If I want to

cherish my own feelings,I don't want to include something incomplete.
I don't want to include something I'm not satisfied with.
This is
doing something for my own sake.Doing it for others feels a bit wrong...
Since it's about me, I chose to do it for myself.

I prioritized my own feelings.

She spoke about her self-reflection in this way.

Other-centered vs. Self-centered

That's wonderful!
I don't think there are many people at your age who can think that deeply.
Even some adults can't do that.
It's an amazing thing!

She realized that perspective,
took responsibility for herself,
and chose and decided on the path she would take!

Ah, I feel so relieved!

She spoke brightly and refreshingly.
As if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders,
as if her worries had vanished,
she seemed to feel a sense of comfort
in having reached a resolution within herself.

She didn't decide this out of resignation, carelessness, or lingering regret.

She did everything she could,
she did what needed to be done,
she faced her limits,
and she brought it to a conclusion herself.

Even if her work isn't in the graduation anthology,
it's fine! It's okay!

Even if someone says something,
she can say it's because she didn't have the time.

She won't include something incomplete.
She valued herself.

She was also able to come to terms with
the reasoning for not including it within herself.
She took responsibility for her own actions.

After this, regarding reporting to her homeroom teacher,
she said she would tell them herself and headed to the classroom.
Her steps were light.
It seemed to reflect her state of mind.

When you are feeling down,
facing the theme of your future dreams and who you want to be

must be a very difficult thing.

In reality, she had the same amount of time as everyone else.
However, given her current state and situation,
she just couldn't bring herself to face it.

She says she didn't have time,
and while adults and those around her might think,
but she had so much time...

If you consider her state and situation,
I think the time she was actually able to face it was truly limited.

Even if you make someone try hard when they are weak,
it only drains their remaining energy and strength.
Until this point where I could provide support,
I connected with her through possible support and waited patiently.

Her parents, homeroom teacher, and others involved
hoped until the very end that she would include her piece in the anthology.
Even so, there is such a thing as limited time.

The homeroom teacher, prepared to take on the burden of the work,
waited until the very last minute.
Teachers are human, too. They were doing their best to the limit of their emotional capacity.

To help her reach a proper understanding.

If you give up, the game is over.

She herself, her homeroom teacher, her parents, and everyone involved,
did not give up and saw it through to the end.

Her graduation anthology entry will not be published.
In the future, perhaps,
she might even feel regret.

However, she will likely not deny herself because of it.
She did what she could, faced herself,
and made a decision she was satisfied with.
She properly put it in the past and let it go.

Even if regret crosses her mind, she has found closure.

One by one, she is carefully accumulating experiences that will become her strength.
That is her asset, her treasure.

I hope she will be able to
overcome everything that lies ahead.

Using her experiences as fuel

~Wishing for the children's future~

Thank you for reading
this long post (3,900 characters)✨

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