What It Means to Rest #2: [Resting the Mind] Noticing the "Unconscious" Through Breathing

Hello, this is Hibiki✨
This time, we will look at the second of the four categories of "rest":
"Knowing the state of your mind."

Click here for the preparation for rest section👇

After becoming semi-bedridden and the noise around me decreased, I noticed something for the first time. It is that, more than I realized,my mind is constantly thinking about various things on its own.

In this article, I would like to talk about how, through breathing, I became aware of my "unconscious" and the state of my mind that I hadn't noticed before.

Bedridden life: what can you do?

It wasn't that I thought from the beginning, "Right, let's rest my mind!"
Immediately after taking leave from work, I was...

• so exhausted just by air passing through my airways that I couldn't speak

• every single daily action was heavy labor, such as the refrigerator door being too heavy, not being able to hold or open a milk carton, or not being able to hold a glass...

• the light from my mobile phone was a stimulus I couldn't bear to look at

• the sound of the TV was a stimulus that gave me a headache

In that state, I felt likethere was nothing I could do other than "sleep and survive".

Day after day, I just lay in bed. Just staring at the ceiling.
What is the point of this life?
I kept asking myself that question over and over.

I should be able to breathe, at least

No matter how much I slept, my condition didn't improve, and I was even too exhausted for one of the rehabilitation exercises suggested by my doctor: "lying on a stretch pole."

What on earth am I supposed to do then?!

That was when I tried a"relaxation meditation"that I could do while lying down. It's just sending breath while focusing from the top of your head to your toes.
It's like the body scan meditation in mindfulness.

Meditation, huh.
They say entrepreneurs and top athletes do it, but it feels a bit unapproachable... It feels a bit suspicious, or like something people who are "highly conscious" do...

I couldn't afford to say things like that.
Anyway, breathing is about all I can do right now!

I thought, and when I tried it, even though no medicine or rehabilitation had worked for me until then,
my body's fatigue and pain felt better...!?

I thought meditation was for calming the mind, relieving stress, or improving concentration—things that have psychological effects—but it has effects on the body? I began to find hope in "breathing."

It is difficult to "focus on breathing"

While I realized the potential of "breathing," I didn't know the "correct way to breathe." In the first place, I had never even thought about what kind of breathing I was doing.

For now, I started by searching for "meditation" and "breathing techniques" on YouTube and Spotify. As it turns out, a surprising number of results came up. The view counts were also quite high.

Mindful Breathing Meditation (5 minutes) - 1.21 million views

Morning Meditation to Start Your Day Pleasantly (10 minutes) - 890,000 views

The "unconscious" in my head starts making noise

I thought something of this length (5-10 minutes) would be perfect for a beginner, but when I played it, it was a disaster. Within 10 seconds, my head started talking on its own.

Sit on the floor, cross your legs, close your eyes, straighten your back... 1, 2, 3, 4...

• Ah, I need to email the office. I wonder how I should start it.

• I wonder what I should have for lunch. What a hassle.

• So-and-so said that, but I wonder what they really think.

Aaaaaah! So noisy! (laughs)

Words keep swirling and overflowing, and I can't focus at all. It's my own consciousness, yet it won't follow me at all!

Ah, forget it, stop!
If I were still working, I would have given up immediately. But now that I can only do "breathing," I end up continuing the "meditation" for the time being.

Thus, the battle with my own "unconscious" began.

Cleaning out your head makes your mind feel refreshed

As a result of continuing meditation every day like this, I suddenly realized something. Every time, what runs through my head is work and preparing meals.

Is preparing meals really as much of a concern to me as work?

With that suspicion in mind, I immediately ordered 14 frozen home-delivered meals.

I also bought a fried egg plate for the toaster oven. I eat a fried egg every morning, but the frying pan is too heavy for me to hold, so I had to ask my mother to take it out and wash it. I felt like I was starting my mornings with my self-esteem in the negative.

And then, what a surprise.
Ever since then, the thought "I wonder what I should have for lunch..." has completely stopped appearing during my meditation.

It was as if I had found the fog lingering in a corner of my mind and tossed it into the trash bin!

I realized that thoughts and "snags" I hadn't been aware of were swirling around inside my head.

Please, try taking a peek inside your own head sometime.
How cluttered was it?

Finally: Cherishing the voice of your heart

"Is there any way to make my body feel even a little bit better?"

With that thought, I began to focus on my "breathing."
It not only eased the tension in my body, but also let me take a small peek inside my heart.

When you feel vaguely anxious,
stop time for just a moment,
and simply repeat the process of inhaling and exhaling.

The voice of your heart, which you hadn't even noticed yourself,
will begin to be heard.

Realizing, "Ah, so this is what was bothering me," empathizing with it, and reaching out to help yourself.

Why was I unable to do for myself what I would naturally want to do for my precious family and friends?

Why not start by taking a deep breath just once?

Next time, we will discuss creating an environment for rest,
"Creating a Comfortable Daily Life."