I talked to my child about death. The trigger was 'Coco' | My parenting as an AC x HSP

This is Yamane😊

This may be sudden, but are you familiar with the Pixar movie 'Coco'?
It's a story set in the world of the dead in Mexico, isn't it?

It's a wonderful movie that was very popular when it was released, and I think many people have seen it. It's one of my favorite Pixar movies too🎬

We talked about 'death'

However, in my child's case, this movie became quite a trauma, and sometimes they tell me they can't sleep because they remember it.

It seems they were scared because it became a trigger for them to think directly about death.

Last night, they said they couldn't sleep for that reason, so we talked a little about the movie.

However, being afraid of death is a natural emotion, and since death is unavoidable, I couldn't deny it.

So, while I spoke calmly, my mind was spinning at full speed, thinking, 'What can I say to make them feel even a little bit more at ease...'

In our case, the movie was the trigger, but having a child become trapped by the fear of death is a path that almost everyone goes through during the process of growing up, isn't it?

Surprisingly, they felt relieved when I said these words.

First, I listened to what they were afraid of or anxious about, and then I tried to convey my own thoughts.

I tried talking about something to this effect

I think what that movie wanted to convey was that we should think about how we should live through the concept of death.

There are two aspects to what it means for a human to 'live'.

First, there is 'life' in the sense of whether the physical body is alive or dead, which means 'living' as a biological organism.

But humans are not just a single organism; we are also part of a larger group called humanity (like how many cells gather to form one human, it's the image that many humans gather to form one humanity).

Therefore, I think it can be said that we are 'living' within that connection to the whole.

However, if we talk about the connection to all of humanity, it's too big and it becomes hard to understand what kind of connection it is, but if we think in smaller units, we can say we are 'living' within our connections to family, friends, and the people around us.

That is depicted in the movie as two deaths.
So, in the movie, as long as the memories of the living remain, even if that person's physical body is dead, their soul is still living within those connections.
Conversely, it is depicted in a way that if they are forgotten, that connection is also lost, and a second death arrives.

In that way, the movie teaches us, through its worldview that 'people die twice,' that there are two aspects to human 'living'.

And I think it asks the viewer whether they are truly living their life in connection with others.

So, when you remember that movie, I think it's good to use it not just as a chance to think about death, but as an opportunity to think about how you want to live your life.

Death is scary.
But no matter how much we think about death, we can't know what it's like while we're still alive, but we can think together about how it's best to live.

Surprisingly, this put them at ease, and they fell asleep right away.

Strangely, this put them at ease, and they fell asleep right after.
I feel like it wasn't the content of the conversation, but just the fact that we could talk about it that brought them peace (laughs).

Being able to have this conversation was a positive thing for me, too.

This conversation became a good opportunity for me as well to think about death.

That's because, in reality, my parent has very little time left, and I am currently in a situation where I am facing death directly.

However, while I have love for my parent, I also have very complex feelings when I remember my childhood, and I haven't been able to sort out my feelings at all.

So, faced with the fact that my parent's death is approaching, I didn't know how to accept it or what I should do.

But I feel like this conversation helped me accept those complex feelings and think about what I should do.

Also, because a person's death can greatly change the relationships between those left behind, honestly, the anxiety, or rather the fear, of what will happen from here on out is also very great.

For a dysfunctional family, death involves complex emotions beyond just sadness, and I think it is truly an overwhelming trial.

When I am able to sort things out someday, I hope to be able to leave my feelings about these things in words as well📝

📚 Introduction to related articles

I'd like to introduce articles related to this theme and articles about parenting!
There are quite a few blog posts, so please take a look if you are interested😊

👇 I wrote about what perspective on 'life' makes it easier to live.
I'll teach you how Adult Children find 'happiness'! | What is the answer I reached after thinking it through as an HSP?

👇 This work also deals with the issues of how to live and how to die, doesn't it!
What does 'Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Movie: Infinity Castle Arc, Part 1' teach us who carry the 'difficulty of living' as Adult Children (AC) or HSPs?

👇 I wrote about what I felt regarding parenting.