So, what was it that you were living for in the first place?

Were we ever people with enough free time to be telling others what to do?

A story I really wanted to include in the book (and did)

I started writing my first book, "A Guide to Continuing and Improving Instruments for Working Adults: From Habitualizing Practice to Deepening Musicality", exactly one year ago this past December.

I actually don't get many opportunities to re-read a book I've written. After all, during the writing period, I spend day after day staring down my manuscript, so by the time it's finished and published, I'm already full, feeling like, 'That's enough, thank you very much.'

The reason I picked up this book after a long time was that while holding my smartphone, I thought, 'Recent social media (like that one site) is just a back-and-forth of nitpicking, insults, and mockery; I hate it.' When looking at these many critical words—or rather, just a contest of one-upmanship by bored people—and seeing that modern-looking scene, I suddenly remembered the words of a certain musician that I quoted in this book.

This book contains two quotes that seem to point to the same kind of thing.

First, the first one. There is a British jazz guitarist named Derek Bailey, who is famous for free improvisation. There is an incredible quote attributed to him. It is a short sentence: "Ignore all evaluation, criticism, and praise of your own playing."

The other quote is an anecdote attributed to the 20th-century American conductor Leonard Bernstein. When asked by a young student studying music, 'Can I become a musician?', Bernstein is said to have replied: "No. Because you asked someone else that."

Doesn't that give you chills? You wouldn't hear words like that from an average sensibility.

I myself am not that well-versed in free jazz or classical music, and I wouldn't say I particularly prefer listening to Bailey or Bernstein's works. But these words are always in a corner of my memory, and I feel like I take them out from time to time, as if to have my head and heart shaken up.

Do you really have time to be bothered by that?

I suspect that these musicians didn't completely ignore the value of pointers or opinions from other excellent musicians.

If, in a place where others happen to have instruments in their hands, someone were to demonstrate, 'Wouldn't this melody stand out more with this way of playing?', one would surely feel something from that. Since no art can be created by an individual from zero, it is natural to have influences from historical works and ideas, and interactions with peers and rivals of the same era. Also, it is unlikely that a musician would be someone who doesn't 'feel' or isn't 'moved' by expressions from others' inner selves, whether in actual performance or as words.

However, praise or criticism is somehow different. It's just 'saying it.' Just saying it. There is no demonstrating it yourself.

There is, after all, the idea that 'people at a distance can see things better.' However, people who aren't doing anything in particular go out of their way to say this and that, and there is no responsibility attached to those words either. Is that really worth listening to?

If you just criticize something for the time being, you look like you know about things, don't you? The content doesn't matter, whether it's far-fetched or not; the only thing that matters is that it looks like it makes sense. That way, you can look smart, like an important person. Feeling that such behavior is smart doesn't seem like a very smart move, but in any case, a certain number of people seem to feel that way.

We have to stop arguing and start living our own lives.

Now, let's return to the story of the instrument book I brought up at the beginning. While this book naturally deals with how to continue practicing without strain in daily life and hints for playing techniques, it also touches on somewhat abstract topics like 'thoroughly commit to your subjectivity.'

In other words, while it is important to think objectively and rationally, we should value 'I feel this way' and 'I want to do this' above all else. Because if you don't, won't the dull daily practice become impossible to continue? This is true for anything difficult, not just instruments, but also work and human relationships. And basically, everything that has value in this world is difficult.

In 'Chapter 9: Hints and Detours,' placed at the end of this book, there is a passage titled 'On a Completely Subjective Sense of Joy and Value.' This is the part where I talked about the happiness of playing an instrument and the idea that if you do it seriously, some kind of philosophy unique to that person will emerge. I will quote a little from there.

This is not limited to the topic of musical instruments, either. We struggle, struggle, and struggle every single day to do various things, but there is a fundamental question: what is all that struggle for in the end?

There are times when, despite saying we are busy with various things, we are not actually doing anything we truly want to do. Since working to maintain a living is difficult for everyone, it is not necessarily the person's fault that they lack the leeway to do new things. I am not a proponent of the theory of self-responsibility, nor am I a glittery advocate of "turning what you want to do into your job" (the reason I work as a freelance writer is simply a process of elimination because working like a corporate employee is physically difficult for me). I naturally understand that it is not a simple story, that nothing is simple, and that everyone has their own circumstances.

However, I cannot help but feel that this question of "what is it all for in the end?" is the type of thing that no one should leave alone.

As I mentioned at the beginning regarding modern internet society, everyone wants to have their say about what others do and wants to judge how others live. If you were to ask them, "What about you?" they probably wouldn't give a very impressive answer. While they are busy commenting on others, they can at least avoid looking at their own misery or the emptiness of their own lives.

So, those kinds of arguments really do not matter. Every year when the end of the year comes, people say, "It's already the end of the year, time flies," and if you, the reader, are a working adult in your prime, you probably have fewer than 50 of these cycles left. Then it is game over. If you know that, you have no time to be doing useless things.

What was it that you and I were living for in the first place?

Bonus: About the book I will be releasing soon

This is the end of the main text of this article, but I would like to introduce my next book briefly at the end.

In the book "How to Create Meaning in Life," scheduled for publication this winter, I intend to delve deeper into the questions and proposals I wrote about in this note. I have posted the section explaining the overall structure from the "Introduction" of the manuscript I am currently writing below.

A "Trial Reading Version" of this book is also available in advance on note. I think I will be able to officially publish it before spring arrives, so please look forward to it!

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