The English Project Names in Meeting Rooms Are Insane

Continuing from the meeting room English of those of us in our late 40s who are bad at English. The first part is here

The topic is "Work and English"

The common topic between her and me, who work in the same industry, is work and English.
I was once introduced to a recruitment agent by her. She was a middle-aged woman with a strong personality and quirks typical of Filipinos, and she has since moved to a real estate company. We are connected on Instagram. Her need for approval is leaking everywhere. It feels strange that such a self-centered person was a talent agent.

When my position was closed and I was laid off, she tried to force me into any position she had available. While she tried to shove me into an interview for a title-less position at one brand, she also tried to rewrite my CV for a director role at another brand, saying, "It's a jump-up, it's a chance." That's just too much. It's incomprehensible to recommend two different roles to the same person. Both positions were neither here nor there, and I hated them.
I didn't need her help because I secured a position at another brand through a recommendation from a former colleague. She said to me, "I'll negotiate your salary. I'll add 2 million more, so give me your contact." It was terrifying. If she had negotiated like that, the offer I had finally secured would have disappeared. I declined, saying I had already signed.
But after I started working, I sometimes think, "If it was 2 million higher for the same job... maybe I should have let her negotiate back then." I think I could have negotiated at least 500,000, maybe.

It's nice to be able to talk with her about the struggles of English and the friction that arises from working with foreigners with the same sensibility. It's not about bad-mouthing, but about turning things into jokes as "common occurrences."
While talking, we find common ground, like knowing the same person (a Spanish IT guy who speaks Japanese) (who has a terrible reputation).

Today's topic: Her daughter's English learning -> Unused words -> Weird project names

First, the "brand common occurrences" of meeting room names that serve as the stage.
They are often names related to HQ or iconic product names. We sympathize with each other that it would be easier if they had clear names like Large Conference Room or Meeting Room A, but instead, they use French names or Italian place names, which are hard to understand. We end up confusing meeting rooms that start with M, booking them, and then sitting packed into a small room despite there being many people, resulting in an unbelievable level of "crowding."

Project names that tend to be buried

Next, the topic moves to buried project names. The vocabulary used at this time is mostly vocabulary learned for university entrance exams and TOEIC.
Names like "Visionary Shift" or "Project Voyager," which are common for projects that attack the team's weak areas.
They usually end when the person in charge disappears. Even though they were supposed to be full of motivation, they gradually wither away, and at some point, the project disappears along with the person in charge.

At my previous company, there was a local project called "Blueprint 2.0" launched by the president of the Japan office. The meaning was something like "beyond the blueprint," but to the Japanese, it was just called "the drawing."
It felt troublesome from the moment it started. If it had been translated as "blueprint" or "design drawing," the image might have been different.

"Is there a drawing update next week? I wonder if there's any point in having a monthly meeting when there's no progress."
"What's with the name 'drawing'? If it were 'design drawing,' it would have been a creative nickname."
"The name 'drawing' just feels like it's destined to be buried."

After a while, the drawing disappeared.

"Stagnant projects" on the eve of omnichannel

About 10 years ago, when EC sites were being developed at brands and omnichannel started to be considered even in luxury.
At her company, there was a stagnant project called "Digital Compass," and at my company, there was one called "Synergy Engine."

Her Digital Compass lost its direction and became a mere shell because the expectations and opinions of HQ and the head of the Japan office regarding EC were too different.
My Synergy Engine was led by HQ, but due to the sluggish negligence of the person in charge in Japan, it died as an engine that produced no synergy at all.
What remained was something that looked like an omnichannel that didn't function.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, the Synergy Engine was remembered, but since the person in charge had been fired, it was treated as if it never existed. It was too dark to dig up. It’s too dark.

Job change common occurrences: Evaluation systems and expense reimbursement

HR evaluation systems have different names, but the lineage is similar. The competencies are the same (or seem to be. They might be different).
Her: "For now, I rate myself as having high adaptability and being bad at innovation at every company."
Me: "I get it. I also rate my collaboration score high."
Her: "I copy and paste from my previous job. No problem."
Me: "I get it. Even if the company changes, I'm the same, right? By the way, for goal setting, I copy and paste from the JD when I was hired and edit it. I delete the things I can't do."
Her: "That's good. Copy and paste whatever you can use. Manage it with the Japanese translation."

"When you change jobs, you tend to confuse it with the previous company. The mechanisms are similar, but the operability is different, so I feel stressed on my own."
"I know, it's annoying that they are subtly similar. I also get irritated by that weird Japanese."
"But then, if it's in English, I don't really understand it either." "That's right, I don't understand either."

Sometimes the expense systems are the same. "Are you using SAP Concur?"
"I've used it too. It's convenient once you get used to it."
"But don't you get irritated when you attach a receipt with your smartphone and it doesn't read it?"
"It's soul-crushing when it gets sent back." "I get depressed if I don't make the deadline, and my finances get tight."
"When approving subordinates' expenses, I don't even look at the content, I just approve it immediately because it piles up. I don't want to delay payments because of me."
"If they aren't using entertainment expenses, I just stamp it blindly. It's like I'm recreating what my middle-aged boss did when I was a new graduate, now that I'm in my late 40s."

Expense reimbursement is like a "nameless chore." It's troublesome, but it's not work to be done during business hours. It's not work to be done by working overtime either. But if you don't do it, you pay out of pocket.
I understand that value, and we both agree completely.

Combat mode local project "KILLING ◯◯"

The topic returns to project names.
There was a local Japanese project that thoroughly marked competitor brands, and it had a terrifying name called "killing ◯◯."

It was originally "Counter-Strike ◯◯," but the foreign president said,

“Too soft! Don’t just counter them, kill them! Just do it! Do it!”

“Don’t just counter them! We need to absolutely crush the competition and take over their market share. Kill them!”

He shouted this in the meeting room with a bright red face, and it became KILLING [Project Name].
If you translate the president’s screaming, it means:
Don’t just counter them, crush the competitors completely and take their market share. Kill them! Do it!

Scary. It’s insane. The president has evolved into a madman 2.0.

Since then, all documents and meeting names have been KILLING.
However, this was a project limited to the office and was kept strictly hidden from the boutiques. It’s a name that would cause an accident if business partners found out. We were showing a little bit of consideration for compliance.

A storm of 'kill' permeating daily life

Even in Japanese office conversations, 'kill' became a daily word.

“We haven’t killed [Project Name] this week either. If anything, we’re being killed.”
“How were you killed?”
“I was killed instantly by the explosion of inbound shopping and the tallying of customer orders.”
“You’ve gotten used to being killed. You’re a pro at being killed now.”
“I’m killed in various ways every week, but I’m killed the most in the office on Monday mornings. It’s like being crucified. Or beaten to death.”
“I’ll offer flowers in my heart.”

Then one day, an important visitor from headquarters came to the office. They happened to pick up a document that had been used as scrap paper next to the copier, and the title was KILLING [Project Name].
The content was also filled with 'kill,' starting with the objective 'Kill the competition.'
The visitor was furious.

“How could a luxury brand have such an outrageous name!”
“How can you do this when you are at the world’s highest level!”
“‘Kill them!’? That’s harassment!!”
“Do you even know what compliance is!!!”

The president, who had been out, was called back, explained the situation, and was apparently scolded quite severely. He was probably almost killed.
This matter spread to the home country, and the president was apparently scolded plenty in Milan as well, and was half-killed by the mafia-like president of headquarters.
I suppose so. It was like a full course of power harassment, moral harassment, and compliance violations.

It might have been a great slogan, but...

Me: “It’s the kind of project name a foreign president who is being pressured by headquarters would come up with, right?”
Friend: “I get it—the president was being pressured by headquarters and was about to be killed, right? But simple words like that are easy to understand, and everyone gets it. Honestly, sometimes when a foreign boss is yelling in fast English, I can’t catch it and I just zone out.”
Me: “It’s truly unfortunate, but I can’t catch fast speech. I just look at it from a bird’s-eye view, thinking, ‘They’re saying a lot of four-letter words.’”
Friend: “It might not get across unless it’s as easy to understand as ‘No excuses!’ or ‘Just do it!’ ‘Killing’ gets across to Japanese people too. It’s a great slogan.”

It is difficult to permeate projects and slogans in a language that is not your native one. Everyone puts a lot of effort into it.
KILLING represented the core of the objective, the very first step. It might have been a masterpiece.

But I think that’s enough.
I hope for a peaceful masterpiece next time.

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