[Shared House Resident Interview #1] Why Visitation Doesn't Happen | The Reality of 'Not Being Able to Meet' Even with a Notarized Deed (Part 2)
■ Recap from the previous part
Even if you specify "visitation once every two months" in a notarized deed, in reality, it doesn't happen.
To break through such an unreasonable situation, Mr. A takes the unusual step of filing a claim for damages. Just as the joy of hugging his son for the first time in seven years begins to fade, the next shock arrives.
This is the second part of the interview with Mr. A.
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■ What you will learn in this article
Why visitation doesn't happen even after a notarized deed is established
The legal limitations of visitation rights having no enforcement power
The process of achieving visitation through a claim for damages
Challenges under the sole custody system and prospects for joint custody
■ The reality where the "promise" of a notarized deed is not kept
Even after the visitation clause was included in the notarized deed, the situation did not change.
What arrived from the wife's side was,
"I can't let you meet yet" "First, send a letter"
a message saying.
Mr. A complied honestly, but a shocking fact was revealed later—
The letters were never even opened; they were thrown away without ever being given to his son.
Mr. A: "At that time, rather than anger, the frustration that it didn't reach my son was stronger."
After that, the one-sided refusal continued, saying "We can't decide on a date and time for visitation" and "Please don't even contact us."
I thought this was the limit of the system.
In Japan, while compulsory execution is possible for non-payment of child support, there is no direct enforcement power for the failure to perform visitation.
■ A breakthrough: A claim for damages
To break the deadlock, Mr. A and his lawyer take a bold step.
Instead of the usual path of filing for mediation or a trial again, they deliberately chose the form of a "claim for damages due to violation of a notarized deed."
The claim amount is 5 million yen.
A's strength lies in that piece of evidence: a letter from his son written with the words, 'I want to see my dad.'
A: 'I am well aware that the judgment won't match the claimed amount. My main goal was to make them understand that this is what happens when you try to "run away" from visitation requests.'
The moment this claim was served, the atmosphere changed completely. The other party agreed to visitation.
It was a technical maneuver that demonstrated how, even in cases where court orders are ineffective, "financial risk" can sometimes serve as a deterrent.
■ The long-awaited reunion after 7 years
And then, the day of the visit arrived.
After 7 years, A was finally able to meet his son in person.
He hugged his son for the first time—a son he had never held since he was born.
During the visit, A superimposed his own childhood memories.
A, whose parents divorced when he was in second grade and who grew up without a father, said he used to look on with envy as his friends were carried on their fathers' shoulders.
With that memory in his heart, he carried his own son on his shoulders, wishing strongly that he would "never let him experience the same loneliness."
A: 'I lost my father in second grade, and my son is now the same age. I absolutely did not want him to go through the same thing.'
I felt a lump in my throat.
■ However, the reality that was thrust upon him afterward
Just before the next scheduled visit, the opposing lawyer suddenly informed him of a shocking announcement:
'We are getting remarried and moving to Hawaii, so visitation is no longer possible.'
There was no other specific information, and the truth of the matter remained ambiguous.
But because of that report, the promise of a reunion that he had worked so hard to secure was once again left hanging in the air.
A: I told my son, 'I will support you until you are an adult.' Then, for the first time, my son called me 'Dad.'
■ The wall of the sole custody system
Under the current sole custody system, it is extremely difficult for the non-custodial parent to obtain information about the child's current residence or school.
Even if the child's living situation changes significantly, there are limited ways to confirm the details.
The government has decided to introduce joint custody, but implementation is scheduled for two years from now.
Looking toward that time, A is preparing himself with a new resolve to face this issue once again.
■ Summary | Issues that have come to light
Even with an agreement on visitation, current law does not guarantee its enforcement.
Claims for damages can sometimes serve as effective pressure to realize visitation.
Under the sole custody system, obtaining information and maintaining stable interaction is extremely difficult.
The possibility of moving overseas is a risk that makes visitation even more difficult.
System reform is a source of hope, but measures are needed for the gap period until implementation.
As a mere share house operator, perhaps all I can do is "rent a home" to those seeking one.
However, each resident has their own life and their own battles.
Choosing the option of a share house amidst adversity, and sparing no effort day and night to grasp a future—
I sincerely respect Mr. A for that.
And that battle has not yet come to an end.
I hope Mr. A, who is in the midst of a custody issue that is also attracting attention in society, will cast a stone, and I hope he continues to do his best.
■ Other note contributors
I would also like to introduce others who have posted articles related to these themes on note.
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