The true identity of a 'swamp man' is a man who isn't serious

"I want to make her obsessed with me."
"I want to take control through mind games."
"I want to be seen as a man with composure."

I have something to tell men who think this way.
The moment you think, 'I want to make her obsessed,' you lose the chance to win over the person you truly love.
I will explain the reason below.

The more you try to make someone obsessed, the further they drift away

I once worked as a therapist for women for three years, interacting with over 1,000 women.
During that time, I also received many consultations from men who wished to 'make their partner obsessed.'

There are countless videos and articles that teach 'techniques to make someone obsessed.'
I feel that this shows just how many men want to 'make their partner crazy about them.'

But I want you to think about it.
You intentionally leave messages unread, play games, and think you have the upper hand.
In the meantime, the person you truly loved goes off to be with another man.

When people are with someone they truly love, they talk about themselves a lot.
They become cautious, desperate, and honest.
This has long been discussed in psychology as well (Social Penetration Theory).

And these 'ambiguous attitudes' or 'pushing them away' to make them obsessed are the exact opposite of that.
The more you try to make them obsessed, the further they drift away from you.

The true identity of a 'swamp man' is not a man with techniques

Let me be clear here.

The true identity of a 'swamp man' is not a man who possesses techniques.
He is a man who isn't serious about that person.

The moment you are successfully pulling off moves to make someone obsessed, you are not serious about that person.
Conversely, if you truly love someone, you become unable to pull off those 'obsess-making' moves.

There are so many men who misunderstand this.

There are things a serious man cannot do

Feigning composure.
Leaving messages unread.
Intentionally acting ambiguous.
Playing mind games.

These are all things you can only do because the person 'doesn't really matter.'

In front of someone you truly love, everyone becomes cautious.
Your replies become faster.
You want to see them.
You choose your words carefully because you don't want to be disliked.

The reason a 'swamp man' looks composed is not because he has genuine composure.
It is simply because he is relaxed since the person isn't someone he is serious about.

Women can very accurately distinguish between genuine composure and feigned composure.
Feigned composure will show awkwardness somewhere.
In that moment, it is revealed: 'Oh, this person is trying too hard.'

Where does genuine composure come from? I wrote about that in detail in another magazine.

Why do men who 'aren't serious' make women fall so hard?

So, why is it that men who aren't serious make women fall for them so deeply?

Women sometimes become temporarily obsessed with someone whose feelings they cannot read.
'Does this person like me?'
'Why won't they text me back right away?'
This anxiety increases the amount of time spent thinking about the other person.

However, there is a point that must not be overlooked.
That anxiety is something that a man who isn't serious is 'accidentally' creating.

While working in customer service, I have heard these words many times in conversations with customers.

Even with the same 'composure,' there is a difference between composure that happens naturally and composure that is acted out.
If you try to act it out, it will be seen through as 'Oh, this person is just flighty,' and the other person will lose interest immediately.

Stop trying to make people fall for you, and things will go well

First, you should stop trying to 'make people fall for you.'
You can face someone you truly like while remaining clumsy.

What is necessary for that is not technique, but the amount of experience.

If you are interacting with multiple women in parallel, you don't have to stake everything on just one person.
As a result, you will be able to relax and face the one person you truly like with sincerity.

You lose your composure because you are 'desperately chasing only one person.'
You can face your true love calmly because you are 'interacting naturally with several people.'
The order is reversed.

However, being desperate is different from being heavy

I would like to note one thing.

'Facing someone with sincerity' and 'making someone feel burdened' are different things.
Even if you like someone sincerely, if you hit them with an amount of emotion they cannot handle, it becomes heavy.
I plan to write about the difference between sincerity and heaviness on another occasion.

There are certainly people for whom mind games work.
However, they only work on 'people you aren't serious about.'
If you do the same thing to someone you are serious about, you won't get them hooked; it will be over in an instant.

Face the person you can be serious about with sincerity

Lastly, just one thing.

If you want to be a 'Swamp Man,' the answer is simple.
You just have to not be serious about the other person.

But if you use techniques that only work on people you aren't serious about in front of your true love, you will be seen through immediately and it will be over.

If you truly like someone, you don't need techniques to make them obsessed with you in the first place.
You just need to face them sincerely, even if you're clumsy.
It may look like a detour, but this is the shortest path.

A relationship bound by techniques ends the moment those techniques run out.
What remains in the end is always the man who can face others sincerely as a human being.

Thank you for reading until the end.
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On this account, I write about female psychology that I have observed through serving over 1,000 people for more than 3 years, and the way men should be, calculated backward from that.
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Sakura | Translator of Female Psychology