[Social Worker] Being 'Used to Being Alone' is the Ultimate Weapon for Enhancing 'Collaboration Skills'

Since I was a child, I have hated 'field trips' and 'school excursions'.

Even now that I am an adult, I am terrible at joining 'large drinking parties' or 'groups'.

Both professionally and personally, when I go to training sessions or events where large numbers of people gather, while those around me form their own circles and chat, I am invariably 'alone'.

・I have to talk to someone
・I have to join some circle

At some point, I stopped thinking these things entirely.

Then, I gradually realized that I was becoming 'used to being alone' in various situations.

It is enough to interact with people I truly trust.

I can just talk when I feel like talking.

Even for someone like me who really dislikes 'groups', once I accepted this, participating in work gatherings became less painful, aside from the awareness that I was 'wasting time'.

In my private life, 'relationship worries' have almost completely disappeared.

After all, since there is no 'interaction' to begin with, there is no way for 'relationship trouble' to occur.

Conversely.

By recognizing that interacting with someone is 'work', my awareness that 'talking' and 'sharing information' are 'tasks' has increased significantly.

It is not just 'chitchat'. It is 'work'.

In my position, where interaction with subordinates, superiors, and related organizations is a must, I have learned that if I treat it as 'work' rather than 'small talk' and ensure that the bare minimum of information is shared properly, I can avoid unnecessary conversation.

Of course, listening to subordinates and junior staff is also, naturally, 'work' and not 'small talk'.

The skill I have acquired through the accumulation of this awareness is the skill of 'collaboration'.

When you hear the word 'loner,' you might think it sounds 'painful.' But if you think of being 'used to being alone' as the ultimate weapon to enhance 'collaboration skills,' then I, who have reached the conclusion that 'being a loner is the best!', am actually the strongest.

1. Loneliness is an inherent part of being human

I have been bad at being in 'groups' since I was a child, but that doesn't mean I was bullied or had any particularly painful experiences.

I didn't have many friends, but I always had two or three friends I could talk to and play with at any given time, so I haven't really felt 'lonely' or 'isolated' much.

More than 20 years have passed since I started working at a welfare facility, and there are about 30 staff members at my current workplace.

Depending on the office, some are composed of two or three people, while others are large-scale offices with 40 or 50 people,

and where you are assigned really depends on 'luck'.

As someone who is not good with 'groups' or 'large numbers of people,' working in an office with 30 people sometimes requires a fair amount of 'effort'.

There are different types of staff members, such as:

✅Those who want to create an open workplace through small talk
✅Those who want to check in with each other frequently
✅Those who want to know every single piece of information, no matter how trivial

and there are staff members with various personalities.

Naturally, there are staff members with high communication skills, and there are quiet staff members who only speak when necessary; there is no single 'correct' way.

The same goes for supervisors.

✅Those who are overly eager to know what you did on your days off
✅Those who are overly eager to check your family structure

In short, there are rare cases where people believe that intervening in and grasping the 'private' lives of staff members makes them a 'good supervisor'.

They probably mistakenly believe that by knowing everything, they can gauge each person's stress level, but

From my perspective, that is 'none of your business'.

That is why, even though I have been in management for five years, I do not pry into my subordinates' private lives.

For those who hate not being with someone all the time,

I don't know if they feel 'lonely' if they aren't constantly interacting or flocking with others, or if they are just afraid of being seen by others as 'lonely' and therefore always hang out with someone.

I suspect that in most cases, it is their pride getting in the way—the fear of being thought of by others as 'that person is a loner'—but

Based on my experience, I will say this clearly.

You can feel 'lonely' even when you are part of a group, and you can feel absolutely no 'loneliness' even when you are 'alone'.

There is the 'loneliness' one feels when alone, and there is the 'loneliness' one feels when being with others.

Ultimately, no matter where people are or what they are doing, there are times when they feel lonely and times when they don't; in fact, 'loneliness is part of the package'.

2. 'Collaboration' is absolutely essential

In the welfare industry, regardless of your position, 'collaboration' is absolutely essential.

If you are on the front lines,

✅Sharing information such as the user's health status
✅Sharing support and care methods

By thoroughly implementing this kind of 'information sharing,' there are many cases where you can overcome not only daily tasks but also troubles that arise through 'collaboration'.

If you are in a management or service manager position,

✅ The situation of the user, including their family
✅ The condition of the user themselves

By 'sharing' this with relevant organizations as needed, you can ensure very speedy responses when the time comes.

In terms of 'information sharing,' at that time,

・I'm not good at talking
・Working in a group is impossible for me
・I want to handle things on my own rather than cooperating with someone

If you stay with these feelings, you won't be able to 'share,' which is fatal.

So, what should you do?

Since 'sharing necessary information' is a 'task,' even if you are bad at it or don't like it, you should make an effort to communicate the bare minimum.

After all, that's part of the 'job,' isn't it?

'Work' is 'work'
'Private life' is 'private life'

At first glance, this may seem like a dry way of thinking, but if it is 'work,' you will start making an effort to think carefully about what is trivial or necessary and 'communicate' it, so

it is actually very efficient and becomes an important skill for 'fostering collaboration'.

As long as you do your 'job' properly, is there any problem with being a 'loner' in other aspects?

You aren't bothering anyone, and there are no issues at all.

3. Enjoy being a 'loner'!

I can talk relatively well even with people I've just met, and since I almost never get into arguments or cause trouble with anyone, I am sometimes seen as having 'high communication skills' depending on how you look at it.

That might be what you call the 'mature response' cultivated through 20 years of experience as a working professional.

But in reality, I am super self-centered, so

✅I don't join conversations I'm not interested in
✅I don't go to gatherings I'm not interested in

I am thorough about these two things.

Therefore, even if I go to a work-related gathering and everyone around me is chatting away, I don't particularly join in the conversation, and conversely, I enjoy watching the scene.

So naturally, even if there are gatherings or events, I am almost never invited.

But, to put it another way,

Not being invited = saving the trouble of declining

That is what this is. This isthe best part of being a 'private loner'.

In terms of work, there are times when I don't want to go but 'have to go because it's work' or 'cannot decline due to my position,'

Don't want to go = cannot decline

This causes a great deal of stress.

I think that when you reach your 40s, it's a time when you think a lot about 'how to interact with those around you'.

✅Having to 'socialize' even when you feel you don't fit in
✅Feeling anxious about having few friends
✅Thinking 'I have to start something'

Isn't this a common experience?

If it's something you truly want to do or something you genuinely feel, that's fine, but if your actions are driven by 'anxiety' or 'unease', it might be worth stopping for a moment.

・It's okay to have few friends.
・It's okay to spend time just zoning out without starting anything.
・When you think 'I have no companions', what kind of 'companions do I really want'?

If all of this is because you feel anxiety or impatience when you 'feel lonely', then you just need to allow yourself to do the things mentioned above or ask yourself those questions.

And you should just think this way:

Let's enjoy being 'alone' to the fullest!

Finally...

Today's article content was, for me, a rare take on how to face 'loneliness' or 'being alone'.

The world has become convenient, and we now live in a society where you can get answers to anything by talking to AI, but I still live a life without using AI.

However, smartphones are essential in daily life, and I believe that in a few years, the day will come when most people use AI as a matter of course.

In the 'world of social welfare,' we work while communicating and carefully observing the other person, so it is hard to imagine AI becoming the mainstream, but even so,

While I feel the convenience of being able to complete tasks on a smartphone without going to a government office, I also feel that we live in a world where it is becoming harder to feel 'human connections'.

That said, whether for work or otherwise, offline 'gatherings' and 'events' will surely never disappear, and there are times when you 'have no choice but to go'.

The same goes for ceremonial occasions, doesn't it?

At those times, you may encounter situations where you feel like a 'loner,' but when that happens, please think of it this way.

✅Everyone feels like a 'loner'
✅Being 'used to being alone' improves 'collaboration skills'

It's okay; since I'm someone who feels like a 'loner' even at case conferences, I can assure you of this. If you get through it with the motto of 'saying only what is necessary and doing so calmly,' you will be able to share the minimum information needed for 'collaboration'.

Having become someone who can think 'Being a loner is the best!', I am now unstoppable.

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